Do beautiful women realize that ugly women are treated very differently?

[UglyNameChange]

My friend (who is very beautiful) got into a relationship not so long ago and said how she hopes I’ll be soon in one too - she knows I’d like a relationship also.
Well, few days ago she was telling me to just go to a bar and get chatted up with men, it won’t be long etc. and I’d just had to laugh, and asked her does she remember any man to ever have done that before and why would is sudenly have changed.
I think I accidentally made things akward because she went really quiet.
She pretty much can go anywhere and men will start up conversation or get asked out.

And this made me think if she genuinely thought we all have the same opportunities?

*Your friend sounds a bit tacky if she is suggesting you go to a bar to get chatted up.

What's tacky about being chatted up in a bar?

Very attractive women seem to get the worst, most abusive partners, in my experience.
That's nothing to envy.
God knows why as you would think they would have the pick of the bunch.
The most classically beautiful woman I know has been in a relationship with a shit since she was a teenager. He has been in and out of prison, as now is their oldest son.
She nonetheless seems as an acquaintance a lovely person.

Very attractive women seem to get the worst, most abusive partners, in my experience.

Really?

We see shocking stories of abuse on here every day. Are the OPs likely to be high above average, looks-wise, overall?

What happened to men preferring bubbly women? On second thoughts, Why are we even questioning what men find attractive and whether pretty women feel privileged? It is all so shallow.

The only ones who know how true this are those of us who have genuinely been both. As this is my anon: I know my features are what are generally considered beautiful. There's no point in lying about it. I have a mirror and access to the theory of symmetry and proportion. I have big dark eyes, even features, dark curls, olive skin and I'm slim. But here's the catch: I've gone through periods on and off in my life where my skin is geniunely disgusting. Its not that I don't wash. I probably wash more than most people. It's hormonal. I've been on treatments and everything. When my skin has been clear, I've been what society considers beautiful. When its been at its worst, I've been what society considers hideous.

I'm immune to it now. Its just a socially interesting experiment to me.

It's a shame you don't have access to humility.

I agree totally with this, and with the original poster who talked about 'righteous anger'. Men, especially in a group and especially in their teens and 20s, can be absolutely vile to women who they consider to be ugly or overweight. I've witnessed it personally on many occasions and I've never understood it (particularly as my sister suffered terribly at school for it)

This has been a really interesting thread. I'd agree with the poster who said it applies to men too - I (m) was good friends with an extremely attractive man at university and I may as well have not existed if we went out together. The difference here is that men being judged for their appearance either positively or negatively doesn't extend to working life at all in the same way it can for women (judging by this thread). And that's not to mention the harassment aspect

Agreed. I met my DH when I joined a choir.

Oh yeah, forgot to say - men very much are intimidated by conventionally attractive women. There's lot a chance in hell I'd have approached any woman who was blonde, slim, beautiful when I was single. I have received a lot of 'you're punching' jokes regarding my wife, and when we met I showed her absolutely zero interest as I assumed she would not be interested.

What was conceited in her post?

The punching line is very ignorant. Who knows what inner qualities the (seemingly) unattractive person holds?

All of it, aside from the hideous part!

She should think she's ugly when she objectively isn't?

It sounds as though she was trying to encourage you and just doesn’t realise how hard it is when you aren’t the stunning and beautiful one. Having said that I would be gutted if a man was interested in me for my looks and not my personality.

She is not being objective but subjective. You seem very invested in my comment 🤔

She said she's what is generally considered beautiful, except for when her skin condition plays up. Conventional beauty standards exist, no point pretending they don't. And she can see herself when her skin is good and when it's bad, too.

I found your comment totally weird because there's nothing conceited in her post at all. I think this is a classic case of seeing things not as they are, but how you are.

But surely if you go to a beach or any shopping centre any day you see lots of couples where the women isn't skinny or conventionally beautiful and thy manage to find partners. In my group of friends growing up some were prettier than others but we all had various boy friends and eventually partners/ husbands and beauty didn't really come into it at the end.

With your insight, anyone would have thought you had written the post.

Anyone would be wrong on that count. But even if they were right, it wouldn't explain why anyone can't answer the question.

Beauty is the eye of the beholder.
Most people fall in the average range.
A much smaller percentage of people are either beautiful or ugly.
People generally date people with similar levels of attractiveness.
Men generally approach women with similar level of attractiveness.
Looks is not much different from other area of attractions such income, class, education - people generally partner with people on their level.

The post was subjective in the poster's attractiveness. Do you find it an attractive trait for somebody to declare themselves beautiful? No wonder they changed their name.

It’s a bit binary to reduce it to beauty. I was hit on every time I went out in London. I was never hit on in Cardiff the whole time i lived there…. I was as beautiful or not beautiful depending on your taste in both places. Obviously not beautiful for Cardiff.

I really really hate the male comment "You are punching" i.e. how did you manage to get together with someone so conventially physically attractive who (it is assumed the speaker somehow speaks for "all men") is clearly so much "better looking" than you.

Not only is it incredibly patronising to both the woman (only valued for her physical looks) AND the man (all men are dog ugly aren't they) but also uses the word "punching" i.e. alludes to physical violence or at least strength, the only thing men are "good for".
Urgh. Horrible and dehumanising on all levels.

It is right up there with "I would smash that". Shudders.

A (gorgeous) friend of mine once burst into tears at a railway station because nobody (no men) offered to carry her suitcases up the stairs. It was genuinely the first time it had ever happened and she couldn’t believe the indignity of it! Welcome to the world of ‘normal’ women mate!