Do beautiful women realize that ugly women are treated very differently?

[UglyNameChange]

My friend (who is very beautiful) got into a relationship not so long ago and said how she hopes I’ll be soon in one too - she knows I’d like a relationship also.
Well, few days ago she was telling me to just go to a bar and get chatted up with men, it won’t be long etc. and I’d just had to laugh, and asked her does she remember any man to ever have done that before and why would is sudenly have changed.
I think I accidentally made things akward because she went really quiet.
She pretty much can go anywhere and men will start up conversation or get asked out.

And this made me think if she genuinely thought we all have the same opportunities?

@Passedmybedtime oh I guess then I'll just travel back in time to when my looks would have been lauded, or just wait another 20 years for the trends to change and then I'll be old but have the 'in' look.

Honestly what a ridiculous thing to say.

I agree with you @UglyNameChange. I'm not conventionally attractive, never have been, but I've always been blessed with a pretty high opinion of myself

And also not true.

@whatstheteamarie - This!
Had to admit that this is very true, sadly. Does this mean we (single girls) have all missed the boat...:(

Even the most beautiful women can have an off putting facial expression. Sometimes it actually reflects their personality, but other times it’s just their natural expression - resting bitch face. Or bored or haughty face.

Personally, I don't know ANY wonderful single men; not one. The single men I know are divorced for good reason, or single for good reason (think cheaters, man-child, angry, work-shy etc). Yet I know some amazing single women (& some great men in relationships).

When you get a bit older there’s always a chance of meeting a nice widower.

That's Emma Watson. Beautiful face but with the worst case of RBF I've ever seen.

That's lovely, thanks for sharing :)

@CounsellorTroi
Unfortunately your plan of "waiting til I'm older and meeting is nice widower" is flawed.

1. I don't particularly want to wait until I'm older
2. Women outlive men
3. Being a widower doesn't automatically make you "nice".

I can say this with 100% certainty as I am a widow.

I regularly attend widows meet-ups, the number of women to men is usually in about a 10-1 ratio.

Men who have met women through these widows groups have:

1. Scammed vulnerable women out of thousands
2. Cheated on multiple vulnerable, grieving women at the same time
3. Spend their time moaning about how hard it is having to work AND cook AND do housework as they didn't have to do that when their wife was alive 🤦🏻‍♀️ They're essentially looking for a housewife to take care of them and expect you to fulfil this role, despite me having my own work, housework to do and children to raise.

So again, where are these wonderful men??

Apologies to OP for derailing her thread and to @CounsellorTroi for destroying her fantasies of sailing off into the sunset with a delightful widower 😂

I can well believe all of this and I'm sorry to hear it.

I'm also a bit perturbed by the idea that the only acceptable reason to be single after a certain point is if someone has died.

Ok your points are all valid. But I do have a widowed friend who met a nice widower and they are very happy, married 14 years now So it’s not entirely beyond the realms of possibility.

My friend absolutely doesn't get this.

She is tall, beautiful and slim. Very striking looking but also a lovely person and very magnetic personality. She models part time.

I, by contrast am short and chubby, very plain and average looking. I've never had trouble getting male attention if I want it but the amount of attention she gets is off the charts. People literally go out of their way to give her special treatment and free stuff and she has no idea that isn't everyone's experience.

It's a bit annoying because she genuinely doesn't seem to understand that this doesn't happen to every woman but I wonder if that's just faux humility? I know everyone seems flaws in themselves others don't see but you'd have to be blind to not see how far from average she is. 😂

Absolute bollocks.

I was beautiful and slim when I was younger & I think I did “realise” that the world was a different place for some other women but perhaps didn’t appreciate how those differences would feel. I didn’t really empathise. I do now. There are also drawbacks though to being beautiful, especially when you are young and easily bullied. The men who did chat you up were generally awful gobshites and the ones who you did like wouldn’t dare to talk to you! Women were the worst thing though…. Jealousy & bitterness like you’ve never known.

Being pretty is not the only thing that makes a woman attractive 🙄 I'm not a troll but no oil painting either but I've always been able to attract men because I'm good company and can be funny. I also believe any man would be lucky to spend time with me. Unless you believe in yourself, you'll always be over looked. You deserve a decent bloke, you won't necessarily find one in a bar, try some new hobbies and find a bloke with similar interests and just believe you're worth more than you seem to at the moment. 💐

Absolutely this 100%

Don’t expect to meet nice men in bars. It’s not the best place to seek dates!!

OP. In my 51 years of observing this phenomenom, I have also noticed that very beautiful women often attract the kind of men who ultimately treat them like shit.

Not always but often.

It's like their physical looks open doors for them at the outset but then they fall into the trap of being innundated for choice, and ultimately end up picking men who are "good looking" on the same scale as them and therefore shallow and end up being downright cruel to their women in some way or another (cheating, liars, very patronising to them etc).

If you don't have to work very hard at the personality side of things to attract attention in the first place because your looks do all the talking, then sometimes you reep the consequences of that.

Being beautiful has its own pain. You clearly have a lovely personality, are a good friend and a relationship will likely come along in time. When you go out and see couples on holiday or shopping together....how often do you think...'God they are beautiful?' because most people are just ok....and whilst you may be attracted to someone handsome initially....its the funny, caring and friendly guys that often are sought out by women.

I also think that less attractive women have a lot of unresolved bitterness about prettier ones which they don’t mask very well and can’t admit and that’s not fair either.

Be comforted OP: a friend recently complimented me, said I looked good and told me I had grown into my looks. It's been a long wait. I'm 71.

I also think that less attractive women have a lot of unresolved bitterness about prettier ones which they don’t mask very well and can’t admit and that’s not fair either.

has Samantha Brick joined the thread? 😆

No. "Tina".....

I'm pretty & I like it. People including women are nice to me, never have an issue making friends etc. I don't think all men find me attractive though.

She pretty much can go anywhere and men will start up conversation or get asked out.

Poor woman. (not envy)

Personally, I prefer a decent IQ and EQ as well as good health. Your friend sounds a bit tacky if she is suggesting you go to a bar to get chatted up.

OP, focus on your career and friends, get on the property ladder and look after your health. Anyone can be attractive if they look after themselves but good looks, whatever that is, without believing in your own abilities and fostering your self worth (which has nothing to do with being 'beautiful') is crap and leads to a very insecure and unfulfilling existence. I'd rather be my own person than being gorgeous and getting chatted up by randoms in a bar.

"She pretty much can go anywhere and men will start up conversation or get asked out."

Contrary to being something to aspire to/envy etc has it ever occurred that after a while this might become as annoying as hell?