Do beautiful women realize that ugly women are treated very differently?

[UglyNameChange]

My friend (who is very beautiful) got into a relationship not so long ago and said how she hopes I’ll be soon in one too - she knows I’d like a relationship also.
Well, few days ago she was telling me to just go to a bar and get chatted up with men, it won’t be long etc. and I’d just had to laugh, and asked her does she remember any man to ever have done that before and why would is sudenly have changed.
I think I accidentally made things akward because she went really quiet.
She pretty much can go anywhere and men will start up conversation or get asked out.

And this made me think if she genuinely thought we all have the same opportunities?

The VAST majority of men have a physical preference for slim women. Anything else takes second place, even beauty.

And does that stop groups of men shouting insults at you on the street?

I've been laughing and joking with friends or family when this has happened - showing the very essence of warmth and having a good time - and then it's like having a cold water thrown over you, especially with the added humiliation of your companions hearing it happen, and you just want to go home straight away but you have to pretend you haven't heard or you don't care.

Been there. It’s horrible isn’t it. Men in groups are the worst for it in my experience.

I have some beautiful friends who were rarely approached when we were younger and a friend who is pretty, very fun and approachable, always laughing. The pretty friend got the most attention, hands down. I found a lot of the attention she attracted to be harassing and annoying and was therefore the miserable friend the men hated when I was with her.

But she is obese. When I Google her I think she would be quite attractive if she was slim. She has beautiful eyes and a nice smile. Also, I think the type of men who comment on the way a female stranger looks are obv absolute idiots usually lacking in cognitive ability and hence often don’t even see the wood from the trees with regard to women. They look at clothes, hairstyle etc Women who are slim and then have hair in a fashionable style with make-up and typically “sexy” feminine clothes are likely to be instantly more attractive in their eyes than someone with undyed hair, no makeup and unfashionable drab clothes.

imagine if you took Kathy Burke when she was 28, made her slim and dressed her up like someone “sexy” on reality TV. Suddenly a bunch of idiots in a bar would chat her up.

Take a supermodel, add on enough weight to make her obese. Give her the teeth of a girl whose parents didn’t take her to the dentist and put her in crap clothes and no make up and then see how men react.

I was really ugly as an adolescent and teenager...I remember gangs of boys following me at the leisure centre, in parks and on the street, going 'phwoar' and then pretending to puke. It was horrendous. My friends were staring at me and not knowing what to say or do. I had that all the time.

Then in my twenties, I spent some serious time looking at my appearance and thinking how I could improve it. I went to the hairdresser, wore contacts Instead of jam jar glasses, bought flattering clothes, used high quality skin products, got a springer so I would walk miles every day...and Jillian Michaels became my best friend.

Eventually I became kind of beautiful. And one of the males that treated me like dirt on his shoe met me one evening in a beer garden, purely by chance, and almost begged me to go out with him. I wish I could say I laughed in his face but I didn't. I just felt sad that I had been so distressed for so many years over this complete loser. And walked away.

I'm now ok with what happened as I have an empathy for women I might not otherwise have had. Appearance matters a lot to most of us because we have been conditioned that way...the beauty industry, cosmetic surgery industry, fashion industry NEED us to hate ourselves, and so is it any wonder when we do? Even a lot of men need us to hate ourselves.

Blimey that's horrible, especially with the boys following you. But thank you for sharing @BrokeAsABone and good for you for being able to move on positively

She used to be slim. I even posted a photo of her when she was very young.
She used to play Perry a teenage boy.

I was pretty and I took it for granted. Now I'm middle age and not pretty anymore I can see I was unsupportive of less attractive friends simply because I didn't understand

Everyone is talking about lots of make-up and fashionable clothes. But pretty women look pretty in a t-shirt and shorts with freshly washed hair.

💚 Thank you so much Collosal. It was so horrible...I just wish I had someone to tell me back then that the boy were the inadequate ones, not me. I learned it eventually though!!

Yes, that's true, but sometimes we enjoy using make up and wearing lovely clothes and seeing how suddenly, differently pretty we look....I don't think that's a bad thing as long as it doesn't spill into feeling you NEED it.

Yes, but the rest of us need a little help (if we choose to do so).

They do but I don’t think they’re that common. I do know the odd woman who would look good in a bin bag but few!
Also I don’t feel “pretty” is a word for a woman my age (40s). Just a personal thing. I see a pretty dress or a pretty little girl, a pretty flower etc I’d laugh if someone said I was pretty. Which is amusing because all my younger years I desperately wanted to be. It felt like the pinnacle-I now think it’s lame.
It is nice to be “attractive” though, which is different.

I'm reminded of a certain supermodel who once said, "Even I don't wake up looking like Cindy Crawford."

Those who look beautiful no matter what are rare.
But I go camping and see lots of attractive women without make-up in shorts and t-shirts.

attractive is different to pretty which again is different to beautiful.

And they're all subjective.

I'm attractive to men and I absolutely do realise and in fact as I'm 39 I'm waiting with baited breath for it to end. Also - it's as uncomfortable as it is flattering.

Like someone else said, all the attention disappeared when I gained 2 stone and resumed the second I lost it.

A good friend is obese. She dresses beautifully and looks fabulous - stunning face and hair. More importantly, she's a wonderful person.

She's married to a former model/sportsman, turned lawyer. He's incredibly handsome, still in sports-pro shape, dresses well, but a bit quirky. People double-take him every single time.

He adores my friend. He is completely blind (my friend isn't sadly) to people checking him out, then seeing my friend and wondering why he's with an obese woman.

He's moral, has personal integrity, he's kind, funny, and supports my friend in every single way - they are a wonderful couple. My friend is completely secure in their relationship, but is frequently made aware of how they don't 'match' in terms of their perceived attractiveness. She's always been big - he fell in love with her that way.

I'm not sure what my point is with this I suppose. A number of comments on this thread keep making me think of these two, so just putting it out there to add to the fabric of the thread!

I don't get what you are waiting for. Or why you are waiting with 'baited breath' for men not to notice you. They're men. Not gods. Most of them are absolutely useless and unattractive. Live your life.

@ReneBumsWombats yes, I think Tom Hardy is gorgeous, plenty don't!

very true... I suppose I will miss it a bit when its gone. But you are right.

This kind of comment is so disappointing when made about women by other women.