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Original poster

Do beautiful women realize that ugly women are treated very differently?

560 replies

UglyNameChange · 10/08/2022 11:46

My friend (who is very beautiful) got into a relationship not so long ago and said how she hopes I’ll be soon in one too - she knows I’d like a relationship also.
Well, few days ago she was telling me to just go to a bar and get chatted up with men, it won’t be long etc. and I’d just had to laugh, and asked her does she remember any man to ever have done that before and why would is sudenly have changed.
I think I accidentally made things akward because she went really quiet.
She pretty much can go anywhere and men will start up conversation or get asked out.

And this made me think if she genuinely thought we all have the same opportunities?

OP posts:
ReneBumsWombats · 10/08/2022 17:04

Antarcticant · 10/08/2022 17:00

Try reading his short stories, aimed at adults. You might revise your opinion.

Show quote history

I have.

They're largely pretty dark (and usually sort of blackly funny). Except Henry Sugar, and he changed that ending (and added the name Sugar) to take the piss when the editors asked him to be a bit less morbid.

Smithy8001 · 10/08/2022 17:04

Agree with this 💯

ThisIsntDanicaBritannica · 10/08/2022 17:05

Honestly even in good light I’m plain.

Have to say it’s been a fantastic idiot filter and definitely weeds out the shallow bastards, men who want a ‘trophy’ etc.
If someone chats me up I know it’s for my intelligence and wit, it’s certainly not because they saw my face first! 😂

Smithy8001 · 10/08/2022 17:06

Agree with @ncedforthisquestion I mean. This thread shows that lots of people don’t believe/understand how those considered ugly are treated.

godmum56 · 10/08/2022 17:07

Museya15 · 10/08/2022 12:19

In my experience in my 48 years of observing others etc...it does boil down to personality, charisma etc. That's my experience anyway.

racism aside that's been mine too and I was never pretty, let alone beautiful

ReneBumsWombats · 10/08/2022 17:11

Antarcticant · 10/08/2022 17:00

Try reading his short stories, aimed at adults. You might revise your opinion.

Show quote history

Oh, unless you mean the "adult" stuff? I can't condone that but he was writing for the market and feminism wasn't on the brief - and think of the culture he was in at the time. Once he started on the stories he actually wanted to write and expressed himself, it was different. I can't see that the female characters, on the whole, were any more dubious than the male ones.

beastlyslumber · 10/08/2022 17:20

Can't believe people on this thread are trying to cancel Roald Dahl - one of the most brilliant writers of the last century. Fuck off with your woke shite.

ReneBumsWombats · 10/08/2022 17:21

beastlyslumber · 10/08/2022 17:20

Can't believe people on this thread are trying to cancel Roald Dahl - one of the most brilliant writers of the last century. Fuck off with your woke shite.

I don't think anyone has called to cancel him? We're just having an honest conversation about his work and personal views.

Buythebag40 · 10/08/2022 17:25

beastlyslumber · 10/08/2022 17:20

Can't believe people on this thread are trying to cancel Roald Dahl - one of the most brilliant writers of the last century. Fuck off with your woke shite.

I know, this was an interesting thread but now I'm sat rolling my eyes.

Lets not let it get derailed from the point the OP was making into a Roald Dahl bashing thread.

giffyg · 10/08/2022 17:26

Models usually have tiny frames. As an big framed tall woman (even when I was slim - big feet, hips, shoulders) I agree that’s not really attractive to most men who want small or average height women even if a bit fatter, and if they do like tall women then it’s tall and willowy only.

I'm tall & small framed & definitely think height is divisive. Whilst you can feel you turn heads some men are put off by height & I'm not even that tall (5ft 9.5). I love being tall!

Doubleraspberry · 10/08/2022 17:27

I'm not really sure why there are posters on this thread lecturing others about losing weight and posture. (And so, so tedious to see the old canards about weight control too.)

The point of the thread wasn't the OP asking for tips on how to attract men. She is just pointing out that attractive members of society have no idea of the experiences of those of us who aren't.

TheLeadbetterLife · 10/08/2022 17:27

Christ, I'm far from being woke. Some people are so touchy.

Antarcticant · 10/08/2022 17:29

beastlyslumber · 10/08/2022 17:20

Can't believe people on this thread are trying to cancel Roald Dahl - one of the most brilliant writers of the last century. Fuck off with your woke shite.

Can you not tell the difference between criticising a writer, and 'cancelling' a writer?

Has literary criticism now been 'cancelled' because it's mistaken for 'cancelling' people? <head starts spinning>

I'm old and I'm not on Twitter so I don't really understand the basis of 'cancel culture' but it seems to me that by trying to shut down criticism of Dahl with a subjective and unsubstantiated statement about his brilliance, you are coming closer to cancel culture than others on this thread.

ReneBumsWombats · 10/08/2022 17:30

Something I've just thought of...people who don't think they're attractive may not be as attuned as others to the attention they get.

I have a friend who isn't beautiful but is perfectly nice looking...but she is shit at flirting and doesn't think much of herself looks-wise. I've seen men watch her as she crosses a room, or come on to her, and she's totally oblivious. She'd tell you it never happens. It does.

beastlyslumber · 10/08/2022 17:32

Has literary criticism now been 'cancelled' because it's mistaken for 'cancelling' people?

Calling people names is not 'literary criticism'.

been and done it. · 10/08/2022 17:32

When I was in Tech College we had a gorgeous friend who was also popular with other girls..she didn't bother to do much studying.
When we started looking for work we all did okay.

She went into a very flash office and was perfectly honest with the attractive CEO ..she told him she didn't do s/hand (told you it was a long time ago) and her typing was a tad ropey. He said he didn't care and hired her on the spot. Off they went into the sunset in his Porsche.

Antarcticant · 10/08/2022 17:37

beastlyslumber · 10/08/2022 17:32

Has literary criticism now been 'cancelled' because it's mistaken for 'cancelling' people?

Calling people names is not 'literary criticism'.

It's not 'cancelling' people, either.

Pollianne · 10/08/2022 17:37

Some of the physically blessed don’t give it a thought and some are aware that their looks afford them better treatment. A few beautiful people I knew years ago hated some of the attention their looks attracted. An evening out with them was like dodge the prick. Some of these people took rejection badly and could turn nasty 🙄 As an aside I don’t think many of us know the cruelty that a physical disfigurement can bring.

Wetblanket78 · 10/08/2022 17:42

I used to get a lot of attention in my teenage years. Some were just dirty old men even if I was out with a boyfriend I would get chatted up. Used to drive me up the wall. They just assume you will jump into bed with them so it's not all that great.

I had my children young both with disabilities so the lack of sleep hasn't done me any favours. I don't miss it a friend of mine still get's a lot of attention though when we're out. All the running around after them though has kept me slim.

PixellatedPixie · 10/08/2022 17:48

Smithy8001 · 10/08/2022 15:02

Totally agree with this.
I’ve noticed that some men seem to feel a sort of righteous anger towards a woman they perceive as ugly. I’ve had men shout insults at me as I’ve walked down the street, “woofing” etc. There’s a strange contempt there, like you don’t have a right to exist because you are ugly.

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But how do you know that you are ugly? I can’t think of a single woman I know who is actually ugly? Can you think of a famous woman or public figure who would be considered ugly? I think obesity is often viewed as ugly by society but if you are healthy how can you really be ugly?

Wetblanket78 · 10/08/2022 17:53

Beauty isn't only skin deep though. A woman could be the most attractive person in the world but not have a a single bit of empathy.

Smithy8001 · 10/08/2022 17:56

PixellatedPixie · 10/08/2022 17:48

But how do you know that you are ugly? I can’t think of a single woman I know who is actually ugly? Can you think of a famous woman or public figure who would be considered ugly? I think obesity is often viewed as ugly by society but if you are healthy how can you really be ugly?

Show quote history

I’ve been told enough to know it’s true unfortunately. I am slim and healthy but I have very unfortunate facial features that no amount of make up can disguise. I can smile and try to dress well etc but there’s no denying I am not what most people would consider facially attractive.
This thread seems to have become about how to make yourself look and feel better, I was just commenting on how people (men usually) treat those who are not attractive. It ranges from indifference to outright anger. There must be other posters here who’ve experienced the same.

InstaHun88 · 10/08/2022 17:59

I genuinely do not know a single person who is purely ugly. I know people who could use losing some weight, choosing better fitting clothes, getting a haircut and some make up to make themselves look "beautiful".Vast majority of beautiful people actually just put in a lot more effort into their appearance. There may be barriers such as no time, no money or health but it's very unlikely that you are ugly. So if you actually care about being "beautiful", put the work in, problem solved.

Antarcticant · 10/08/2022 18:05

Can you think of a famous woman or public figure who would be considered ugly?

I can think of a few, yes, but obviously it would be wrong to name them. The reason there aren't many is because it's hard for unattractive women to become famous; much harder than for unattractive men. Even attractive females in acting/television are often sidelined once they hit middle-age.

Festoonlights · 10/08/2022 18:08

I was the friend that my friends would use to see if they could trust a boyfriend or not. Yes it was weird but we would laugh about it.
it wasn’t until I became much much older I realised the ‘good service’ I received all of my life was in fact based on being a good looking, confident couple and it was easy to charm anyone. I saw a very obvious switch as I got older and now my friends and I are all looking the same - mid 50s and it’s nicer in many ways. We are all equal and it’s no longer about beauty or looks etc. We are deeper people, shared many experiences and enjoy life as it is, and glad we are just healthy and well now.

I think anyone can be beautiful - some people radiate from the inside out.

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