AIBU for being upset at my family for calling me lazy?

[prettybutditzy]

My parents are calling me lazy because I decided to take on a second job because I'm taking a gap year. They say taking on a second job is an American idea and that no one will want to hire me again bc I won't be available for extra shifts at my first job bc I'll be too busy with my second. They say I'm being lazy and have even suggested I move back in and give them control of my bank information which I really don't want to do) : honestly I just want to save up as much money as I can before I start uni next year bc my parents aren't going to help me and I won't get much in loans bc their income is high.. I think they're also mad bc I'll be 19 when starting uni and I'll be behind everyone else which is why I'm asking this question bc maybe they do have a point about some stuff

There appears to be a large age gap between you and your siblings @prettybutditzy. Since they are so young that they still need help getting dressed and walking to school - and you're now a legal adult. Which has me curious about several things.

Are both your parents your bio parents?
What was their reason for not helping you financially with getting a college education?
Was there a fight when you moved out of their house into your own place?
If so, was returning daily to get the kids off to school & back home again a compromise you had to make to be able to get out of there?

Please provide us with a bit more information op, as I can tell by the other comments, most of us are confused about some of the details.

YANBU, and I'm proud of you for holding on to your Independence by not returning to live in their house AND not handing over your bank book!

I understand by your actions that you're trying to keep the peace and gain approval from them. But as an adult now, you have to realize that they may not want peace or to give you "free" unconditional approval. Rather they want control.
Control over you.

Maybe you should ask them for Money when they want you to care for your siblings. You could use this time for a break between your shifts. I really don't understand your parents but i am sure that you should be careful and take care of yourself.

First you mention their salary is high. That means they should simply hire maid. That is their responsibility to the children.and why would you be responsible to make sure they go to school. That nuts.Are you sure they are your parents? If they have issue you starting uni late, they should simply help you go to college. Start back late is not an issue. You actually more matured compared to your collegous. Do your part timeo now, but when in uni try to get scholarship by getting good results. Good result too make it easier to get enter good company. Giving financial back to them is abig no. Since they are not helping you get to college, you wont have fund to go to college if you give them your financial. Talk to your potential uni councelor or etc. Se what option you have.

Just a heads up, if you are in the US and are over 18, you can declare yourself as an independent on your taxes. If they can't claim you as a dependent on their taxes, their income doesn't have to be reported for financial assistance. If your parents refuse to help you with college, they have no right to declare you a dependent by U.S law especially if you are over 18 and took a gap year. I would talk to a financial advisor at your planned university for help.

This... They are the lazy ones and need to step up and look after the 3 at home.

This!

You should be very proud of yourself. You've helped raised 3 children, you've earned a place at university, you're earning a living.

Perhaps university will be an opportunity to work out that you are your own person and not a skivvy. You sound like you have a bright future ahead of you, so don't let anyone stop you.

You’re being controlled and abused. Stop going round and do not give access to you bank. You’re normal, they are deranged