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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not accommodate Very Important Neighbour's new home office?

739 replies

Knitwit101 · 09/08/2022 14:35

We've lived next door to these neighbours for years. Know each other well enough to say hi, put bins out on holiday, but we're not friends. We've been using our garden in the same way for years. No changes on our side, nothing new.

We've come back from holiday to find neighbour has re-organised his home office and he now sits at a massive (open) window right on the boundary between our gardens. That must have been a spare bedroom before maybe, I don't know. We never saw anyone in it.

I sat outside at our patio table this morning to have a coffee and I could hear every word he said through his open window, could hear every word his colleagues said on their online meetings. He might as well have been sitting at the table with me. Not sure there's much I can do about that, he can use his house however he likes.

Ds10 and his pals are sitting outside at the table trading Pokemom cards. There's 4 of them, they are laughing and chatting but they're not shouting or being silly. And it's a sunny afternoon in the school holidays, they can be outside laughing in the garden if they want to be.

Neighbour has just come to the door to ask me if I can take them inside because he has a full afternoon of work meetings and their noise is distracting him.

I said "what, the whole afternoon? You want them to stay indoors all afternoon?"

He said completely straight-faced "I'll be working till 6.30pm"

I laughed and said "well no, that won't be possible".

At this point he said in a very slow, careful, mansplaining voice just in case I couldn't follow him "I don't think you understand. I have a Very Important Job. These are very important meetings. I negotiate multi-million dollar contracts every day, I need to be able to concentrate."

Seriously? I always though he was a bit of a twat but who talks like this? Who actually says "Very Important" like that? Twice? He has no idea what my job is or how important dh or I might be.

I just said "no, we'll carry on using our garden as we always have. Maybe you could close your window when you're needing to concentrate. And just so you're aware, I can hear you and your colleagues when your window is open, I hope you're not saying anything confidential. I must get on, thanks for doing the bins while we were away" then shut the door.

He's gone, I can hear him on his Very Important Meeting. I could join in, I can hear every word on both sides. I suspect he'll be back, probably when dh is back from work so they can talk man to man.

He's unsettled me though, he was so self-confident when he came to the door, so sure that he would get exactly what he wanted. How do you get that kind of confidence? I wish I had it. Or is it arrogance? He made me think I was in the wrong at first.

We love our garden, we use it all the time. I'm not sure how we'll deal with this one, but I wasn't BU by refusing to bring the kids inside, was I? He's the one who has made the change, not us. I don't think wfh is new for him, he was just somewhere else in his house before I guess. Now he's on top of our patio with his big booming voice. I feel quite sad about it, if he's there all day every day it's going to be awful.

OP posts:
CactusBlossom · 10/08/2022 18:35

What an arrogant so-and-so! "Very Important" -- so much so he had to mention it, otherwise no-one would have known! You could try playing Cee Lo Green's "Forget You" (ahem, the one with the other title) and I think you'll find he soon shuts the window. Or he could move into another room in his own house. A couple of hours for a particular meeting fair enough, but for the whole afternoon, no way.

Lazybedhead · 10/08/2022 18:42

My response would have been ‘My garden is not office space so it will be used however I wish. If this is not suitable to you, maybe you should move to the front of the house where you may find it quieter. It’s not my problem you work from home and it’s irrelevant to me quite frankly how important you deem your job to be’.

CountryMouse22 · 10/08/2022 18:42

Mustardbay · 09/08/2022 14:40

I think you need to start some Very Important drum lessons

Or perhaps drum lessons?

Lazybedhead · 10/08/2022 18:44

Also, may I suggest playing Baby Shark, Barbie Girl and a bit of Prodigy’s smack my bitch up in your garden?

purplebunny2012 · 10/08/2022 18:45

Isinglass20 · 10/08/2022 18:30

Don’t you need planning permission for out side living / business use buildings. Worth checking 😈

No, because he's not running a business out of his house. He's just working from home

theonlygirl · 10/08/2022 18:47

You handled it well. I'd have just laughed in his face and shut the door. What a dick.

Redshell1976 · 10/08/2022 18:48

He sounds like a bully to me. I’m afraid that behaviour would invoke my petty side, I would be taking the kids out daily and telling them to scream as loud as they liked.

It’s one thing if you both decided to keep the noise down in the working week but to expect everyone to do so on a weekend for his ‘very very important job’ is just bullshit. I have worked with plenty of men like that and that behaviour just doesn’t cut it with me.

qtpa2t · 10/08/2022 19:00

Well done you for standing your ground. I might have been flustered enough and actually let him have his way. And no you're definitely not bu

Dalint · 10/08/2022 19:01

Sheepreallylikerichteabiscuits · 10/08/2022 15:16

Well yes but reading an email about a patent granted to Pizer on your phone in cost and then logging on to buy shares is a very different scenario to someone viewing the FTSE on their phone.

And what you are describing sounds very like insider trading anyway, so I think being sacked for looking as the FTSE on your phone in costa is the least of your worries in this scenario!

Insider training is not what traders do. Insider training would be if you worked for Pfizer and knew that a new drug was being developed which would be a breakthrough and you bought shares in Pfizer on that basis. You're an insider.

LaughingCat · 10/08/2022 19:03

Oh, the entitlement of some people! I guess I have a Reasonably Important Job and when my neighbours’ children/grandchildren happen to be heard, the call I’m ok usually love it. One very lovely grandchild number six of our back neighbours (about five years old) once stopped a crucial meeting to shout out, “Cat, what are you doing?”. I excused myself and shouted back, “I’m working, Crystal.” “Well, that’s stupid, you shouldn’t be working while it’s sunny.”

Everyone on my call fell about laughing and we agreed with her. 😂.

Your neighbour sounds like a self-important twonk.

newtoallthisshizzle · 10/08/2022 19:04

I need to know the 1% who said you are being unreasonable and their reasoning.

fetchacloth · 10/08/2022 19:10

YANBU
He's a twat of the first order and he can think himself lucky that he's not living next door to me. He would have some womansplaining from me for sure.🙄
If he persists I would try and find out which company he works for and report this to them. If his job is as important as he says, I'm sure his employer would consider his behaviour a breach of confidentiality and possibly GDPR regs.

ballerina1971 · 10/08/2022 19:13

Oh dear what an utterly entitled twat‼️

You handled it so well, as his not paying the mortgage on your house, he gets NO say in how you use your garden.

If I was in your position I would be enrolling DS in a marching band and offering to host band practice, in the garden, on a regular basis!!

But seriously, you told him, nicely but firmly to get lost. He is definitely breaching confidentiality. If he persists, I agree with others, quote back to him some of his meetings, you could record them on your phone if he tries to be a bigger that and play it back to him.

Let's us know how you get on

mynamesnotMa · 10/08/2022 19:20

Think your response was very measured.
My neighbour has just built his home office right up to our fence and anyone sitting on the patio can be heard he also has a ring door bell to record conversations.
It's a huge invasion of privacy but no ones rights trump the other

April506 · 10/08/2022 19:20

What a pompous idiot.. if you can hear him then as a client I'd be very concerned...
I wonder who he works for at his more important job than wot u have got.

Oldieandgoldie · 10/08/2022 19:34

But surely your children making noise is protecting him? By preventing his ‘indiscretions’ being overheard by who knows who?

Endlesslypatient82 · 10/08/2022 19:39

Dalint · 10/08/2022 19:01

Insider training is not what traders do. Insider training would be if you worked for Pfizer and knew that a new drug was being developed which would be a breakthrough and you bought shares in Pfizer on that basis. You're an insider.

if you have been given a heads up re a confidential development of a public company that has not been announced, and that impacts your trading decision - that is pretty much the perfect example of insider trading! @Dalint

Qik · 10/08/2022 19:41

Park on his drive.

As we know from copious threads here over the years it is not illegal. Neither can the council do anything because it is not public land.

He can spend some legal fees to get you to move it. You can then start a massive war of attrition.

Missingpop · 10/08/2022 19:41

Sorry but I’d have to be a real bitch to the self obsessed tosser; let DH know what’s happened so he’s already on his Agame when he gets home; then I’d get on the phone call all your friends & have a garden party at your tomorrow from 8.am onwards; breakfast in the garden followed by games for the kids & coffee & chats for mums; quick bbq of hot dogs & burger at lunch time followed by more drinks & bit of dancing in the afternoon promptly ending at 6:30pm if that’s not enough for him invite family on Friday for much of the same & on Saturday arrange to have a six foot fence put up so the nosey old fart can’t sit at his window looking into your garden put it smack bang on the boundary so he can’t complain (too much) then have a bloody good party if he moans tell him your a very very very important party animal who arranges excellent multi purpose parties but you are an expert in ones that fuck off self obsessed neighbours who think they are more important than children playing quietly in their own garden now please piss off xx
it would do the trick & he’d get the message loud & clear 😂😂😂😂

Justontherightsideofnormal · 10/08/2022 19:45

Just saw this on Facebook posted by the mirror newspaper

Maryminx · 10/08/2022 19:48

Well said you!

Fluffmum · 10/08/2022 19:49

Tell him close his window and buy a fan. What a d@@k

Boysgrownbutstillathome · 10/08/2022 19:49

Why do tabloid newspapers have access to Mumsnet chats? They shouldn't be allowed to quote private conversations, potentially causing real problems by outing people. Why do MN let this happen?

Staygoldponyboystaygold · 10/08/2022 19:50

What a twat!!

Im so pleased you stood up to him!

Sheepreallylikerichteabiscuits · 10/08/2022 19:50

Dalint · 10/08/2022 19:01

Insider training is not what traders do. Insider training would be if you worked for Pfizer and knew that a new drug was being developed which would be a breakthrough and you bought shares in Pfizer on that basis. You're an insider.

Not in the scenario you describe.

In the scenario you describe a random trader is sitting in costa. They then receive a confidential email that pizer is having a patent granted i.e. information not freely available to the public, and then trade shares off the back of that.

That is literally the definition of insider trading. Its not about being an 'insider' as you put it, its about having inside information e.g. information not freely available to the general public.

And no insider trading is not what traders usually do, given its, you know, illegal. But its also not what people working for a company normally do either given it would be hugely obvious what they had done.

The reality is you are coming up with all kinds of scenarios to justify saying that someone can get sacked for looking at the FTSE in a coffee shop. Which is rubbish and also in no way relevant to the OPs situation anyway.