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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not accommodate Very Important Neighbour's new home office?

739 replies

Knitwit101 · 09/08/2022 14:35

We've lived next door to these neighbours for years. Know each other well enough to say hi, put bins out on holiday, but we're not friends. We've been using our garden in the same way for years. No changes on our side, nothing new.

We've come back from holiday to find neighbour has re-organised his home office and he now sits at a massive (open) window right on the boundary between our gardens. That must have been a spare bedroom before maybe, I don't know. We never saw anyone in it.

I sat outside at our patio table this morning to have a coffee and I could hear every word he said through his open window, could hear every word his colleagues said on their online meetings. He might as well have been sitting at the table with me. Not sure there's much I can do about that, he can use his house however he likes.

Ds10 and his pals are sitting outside at the table trading Pokemom cards. There's 4 of them, they are laughing and chatting but they're not shouting or being silly. And it's a sunny afternoon in the school holidays, they can be outside laughing in the garden if they want to be.

Neighbour has just come to the door to ask me if I can take them inside because he has a full afternoon of work meetings and their noise is distracting him.

I said "what, the whole afternoon? You want them to stay indoors all afternoon?"

He said completely straight-faced "I'll be working till 6.30pm"

I laughed and said "well no, that won't be possible".

At this point he said in a very slow, careful, mansplaining voice just in case I couldn't follow him "I don't think you understand. I have a Very Important Job. These are very important meetings. I negotiate multi-million dollar contracts every day, I need to be able to concentrate."

Seriously? I always though he was a bit of a twat but who talks like this? Who actually says "Very Important" like that? Twice? He has no idea what my job is or how important dh or I might be.

I just said "no, we'll carry on using our garden as we always have. Maybe you could close your window when you're needing to concentrate. And just so you're aware, I can hear you and your colleagues when your window is open, I hope you're not saying anything confidential. I must get on, thanks for doing the bins while we were away" then shut the door.

He's gone, I can hear him on his Very Important Meeting. I could join in, I can hear every word on both sides. I suspect he'll be back, probably when dh is back from work so they can talk man to man.

He's unsettled me though, he was so self-confident when he came to the door, so sure that he would get exactly what he wanted. How do you get that kind of confidence? I wish I had it. Or is it arrogance? He made me think I was in the wrong at first.

We love our garden, we use it all the time. I'm not sure how we'll deal with this one, but I wasn't BU by refusing to bring the kids inside, was I? He's the one who has made the change, not us. I don't think wfh is new for him, he was just somewhere else in his house before I guess. Now he's on top of our patio with his big booming voice. I feel quite sad about it, if he's there all day every day it's going to be awful.

OP posts:
QuebecBagnet · 09/08/2022 16:07

Oh I would totally join in on the meetings.

i wfh in a garden office which is at our rear boundary. Though the house at the bottom of us don’t use that end of their garden. I’m still ultra aware though and try and talk quietly in meetings, etc.

Satsumaonaplate · 09/08/2022 16:07

He should go into his workplace then!

I agree that maybe DS should start some Very Important drumming lessons!

Well done you for not being a pushover!

godmum56 · 09/08/2022 16:07

I am an absolute noise in gardens hater and even I think he is a wazzock

ReeseWitherfork · 09/08/2022 16:08

Who on earth is voting YABU?

Sincerest thanks for including a diagram OP.

forrestgreen · 09/08/2022 16:08

Did you buy some wind chimes on your holidays...

5zeds · 09/08/2022 16:10

Oh he is so very very important.

JudgeJ · 09/08/2022 16:11

123becauseicouldntthinkofone · 09/08/2022 14:43

agree with mrwalkensir start quoting his meetings back to him as there will definitely be some confidentiality issues

Set up a recording device and then play it back when he's on another Very Important call.

IsItShining · 09/08/2022 16:11

Online tips for upcoming mergers, hmm?
Can we all come and listen?

StaplesCorner · 09/08/2022 16:11

In awe of OP. And am so following this in the hope that OP's DH is accosted at tea time tonight. I hope he's as good at quiet irony as the OP. Great typo from a poster earlier about the "Very Impotent" neighbour. Sums it up really.

Namerchangerextraordinaire · 09/08/2022 16:11

I think you should line up with your kids on your patio (preferably while barbequing), then loudly sing or clap back at him everything he says.

That way, everyone else in his Very Important meetings can understand that the crux of the matter is, he is spaffing their business to all & sundry.

Madamecastafiore · 09/08/2022 16:11

I'm trying to find somewhere to hold DDs summer party, she's 8, has about 30 coming, I know we don't really know each other but you seem like a good hearted person so I was wondering, if it's at all possible??? They're good kids, can be somewhat boisterous once they've been at the blue slushies and hating but it'll only be for, say 4 hours?? We were thinking maybe super soakers and water balloon fights would be a good way of killing a few hours, so if you could arrange that I'd be very grateful. Happy to pay £50 an hour???

SarahSissions · 09/08/2022 16:12

Email Sky news with a tip that company x is merging with company y. They companies will go bananas looking for where the leak has come from

Freddiefox · 09/08/2022 16:12

If he does come back, please tell him that he’s not to speak to your child about the situation but to come to you or dh.

longtompot · 09/08/2022 16:12

Sorry, op, your original post just made me laugh! What an entitled little man. You handled it superbly so here is a 🏅
One question, does his window really overlook your patio and house like that? I don't know if your houses are newish builds or older houses with an extension, but I didn't think you were allowed to have windows that overlooked in that way

Hankunamatata · 09/08/2022 16:13

surely its time to pull games console out, set it up outside and have a game of Just Dance

Endlesslypatient82 · 09/08/2022 16:14

Can’t that much of a hot shot that he lives in a property so close to their neighbours that gardens conversations in the neighbour’s property can be heard from inside!

anyone else read these threads and think there’s a hefty dose of exaggeration from the OP?

SarahSissions · 09/08/2022 16:14

@ReeseWitherfork that was me. I have really fat fingers and hit the voting button whilst scrolling🤦🏻‍♀️
for reference I think the neighbour is a prick.

JudgeJ · 09/08/2022 16:14

neverbeenskiing · 09/08/2022 14:47

What a twat. It was his choice to move his office and to keep the window wide open, now he thinks he can dictate when and how you use your garden. Don't change your behaviour for him and don’t let your DH cave if he tries this with him next! It really irritates me when people want the perks of working from home, but expect everyone around them to maintain an office-like level of quiet for their convenience.

If WFH is becoming the norm rather than an emergency reaction during lockdown is there an element of planning permission involved in respect of change of purpose from a 100% living space to a joint living/commercial space?

NeverDropYourMooncup · 09/08/2022 16:14

WiddlinDiddlin · 09/08/2022 15:18

Oh thats an excellent diagram OP.

DO NOT LET CHILDREN BACK IN.. they must stay out, bribe with pizza if necessary.

If they really insist its child abuse to keep them outside, go out there and listen to an audiobook!

When he comes to mansplain again how Very Important his job is, definitely make sure you query that 'really, VERY important, how funny you don't have an office... or even... head phones!' and look realllllllllly disbelieving :D

An audiobook sounds like a very good idea for when the children are playing somewhere else.

I'd recommend The Godfather. Not anything to do with the movie, the original book - I think a particularly appropriate section to be listening to (whilst you purely coincidentally pop inside to unload the washing machine) would be the section that describes Lucy Mancini's first encounter with Sonny Corleone at Constanza's wedding, closely followed by the entirety of Chapter 22 with regards to her pelvic floor surgery, and possibly then Filomena's account of what happened to Luca Brasi and Kelly O'Rourke's baby.

After all, he'd be happy that the children weren't playing outside at that point, wouldn't he?

LookItsMeAgain · 09/08/2022 16:15

I was catching up on this thread and wanted to congratulate you @Knitwit101 on your genius diagram.

I think the thunk-thunk-thunk of a basketball would be perfect background noise for your Very Important Neighbour to have to listen to, especially if you suggest to the kids that they can't speak when they are outside playing so the only noise they are making will be the basketball itself. <wicked grin here>

Back to carrying on reading the rest of the thread

emmathedilemma · 09/08/2022 16:16

You could also point out that if he's dealing with the negotiation of multi-million pound contracts he shouldn't be doing it within the earshot of his neighbours.

bumblebeessarecool · 09/08/2022 16:16

Maybe you should record his work conversations and then start buying and selling stocks and shares? you might profit enough to buy something really cool.

crosstalk · 09/08/2022 16:17

Lash out on a Financial Times and Times if you don't already.

Leave the Times open at the share price page at the back with prominent black circles round the companies he's mentioned. If he can't see you, let it blow into his garden.

Give the FT to your DH to tuck under his arm when he speaks to Mr Merger-Acquisition.

HannahSternDefoe · 09/08/2022 16:18

@Knitwit101 I think it's about time your patio had a lovely solar powered water feature...something you can leave on the boundary near a window to drown Wink out the sound of a betesticled mansplainer.
If you do let the kids come inside, make sure they're nice n noisy with the window open, and get them to say "Crux of the matter" a lot 🥇

emmathedilemma · 09/08/2022 16:18

I don't know who he works for, or if he works on his own.
Search for him on Linkedin!