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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not accommodate Very Important Neighbour's new home office?

739 replies

Knitwit101 · 09/08/2022 14:35

We've lived next door to these neighbours for years. Know each other well enough to say hi, put bins out on holiday, but we're not friends. We've been using our garden in the same way for years. No changes on our side, nothing new.

We've come back from holiday to find neighbour has re-organised his home office and he now sits at a massive (open) window right on the boundary between our gardens. That must have been a spare bedroom before maybe, I don't know. We never saw anyone in it.

I sat outside at our patio table this morning to have a coffee and I could hear every word he said through his open window, could hear every word his colleagues said on their online meetings. He might as well have been sitting at the table with me. Not sure there's much I can do about that, he can use his house however he likes.

Ds10 and his pals are sitting outside at the table trading Pokemom cards. There's 4 of them, they are laughing and chatting but they're not shouting or being silly. And it's a sunny afternoon in the school holidays, they can be outside laughing in the garden if they want to be.

Neighbour has just come to the door to ask me if I can take them inside because he has a full afternoon of work meetings and their noise is distracting him.

I said "what, the whole afternoon? You want them to stay indoors all afternoon?"

He said completely straight-faced "I'll be working till 6.30pm"

I laughed and said "well no, that won't be possible".

At this point he said in a very slow, careful, mansplaining voice just in case I couldn't follow him "I don't think you understand. I have a Very Important Job. These are very important meetings. I negotiate multi-million dollar contracts every day, I need to be able to concentrate."

Seriously? I always though he was a bit of a twat but who talks like this? Who actually says "Very Important" like that? Twice? He has no idea what my job is or how important dh or I might be.

I just said "no, we'll carry on using our garden as we always have. Maybe you could close your window when you're needing to concentrate. And just so you're aware, I can hear you and your colleagues when your window is open, I hope you're not saying anything confidential. I must get on, thanks for doing the bins while we were away" then shut the door.

He's gone, I can hear him on his Very Important Meeting. I could join in, I can hear every word on both sides. I suspect he'll be back, probably when dh is back from work so they can talk man to man.

He's unsettled me though, he was so self-confident when he came to the door, so sure that he would get exactly what he wanted. How do you get that kind of confidence? I wish I had it. Or is it arrogance? He made me think I was in the wrong at first.

We love our garden, we use it all the time. I'm not sure how we'll deal with this one, but I wasn't BU by refusing to bring the kids inside, was I? He's the one who has made the change, not us. I don't think wfh is new for him, he was just somewhere else in his house before I guess. Now he's on top of our patio with his big booming voice. I feel quite sad about it, if he's there all day every day it's going to be awful.

OP posts:
StripeyDeckchair · 09/08/2022 15:53

I'm sure within a few days of him holding these meetings so openly you will know who he works for, who his boss is and the name/organisation of some of the people he has been having meetings with.

You could then either point it to him that he is broadcasting his VIJob details to all & sundry- is he not concerned about confidentiality & GDPR
Or you could call his boss and point out that you can hear all this going on.

I hope your DH laughs in his face if he tries to raise it with him.

CruCru · 09/08/2022 15:56

I sort of wonder what people like this do about their own children. Whenever I work from home I’m conscious that I work from my children’s home - they don’t live in my office. Expecting children to be silent to enable someone’s work (aside from the off hour) is ridiculous.

greatblueheron · 09/08/2022 15:57

Neighbour has just come to the door to ask me if I can take them inside because he has a full afternoon of work meetings and their noise is distracting him.

I laughed out loud when I got to that sentence in the OP.

Twat.

Prepare your husband if you have any doubts about him not laughing at the twat, too. You are 100% reasonable to use your garden as you are. If he has Very Important Meetings, he can drive to his Very Important Business and conduct them there if he can't focus at home.

Again, he's a Twat.

CheeseCakeSunflowers · 09/08/2022 15:57

He has chosen to work in a residential area, hearing normal residential noise is something he just has to put up with.
Maybe this evening when the neighbour is in hearing distance you could be in the garden and shout to DH in the house the names of those companies he mentioned, DH could shout back, I'm just checking the share price now. I believe releasing sensitive information which might affect share prices before it becomes public is a serious business.

ilovesooty · 09/08/2022 15:58

Floralnomad · 09/08/2022 15:06

Just stick to your guns and use your garden like you always have - he’s a pompous twat .

Exactly.

I don't understand why there are so many suggestions that you should make your garden even noisier though.

Weemummykay · 09/08/2022 15:58

LocalHobo · 09/08/2022 14:44

You handled that so well. I usually flounder around and, after the moment has passed, think of what I should had said.

I am sooo the opposite of this, I wouldn’t necessarily raise my voice but I would give them a piece of my mind and probably a few unnecessary words thrown in(I swear like a trooper and if u don’t know me so well you would probably take it more harshly than what it was intended) hats off to OP for being so calm tho. I have a not quite 3yr old and 2month old so there would be reminder thrown in there that there would be 2 dc who will be out playing in their own garden next year so they’d better be getting used to it haha. P.s my nearly 3year old doesn’t usually go out in the morning, he likes to take his time with breakfast n playing with his toys indoors for a bit before he asks to go outside and even then he’s fairly quiet since it’s just him. For just now hehe

stillvicarinatutu · 09/08/2022 15:58

Well done op

I'd have a Very Important Bbq , and a Very Important Play Date where you invite lots of children over , play some Very Important Music for good measure, and if he complains again tell to to blow it out of his Very Important Arse !

What a knob . Sounds insufferable.

Leafy3 · 09/08/2022 15:59

Well, I'm not saying you should make notes on some of the Very Important conversations he has with colleagues and clients, but you could.

And you could present him with a copy if he continues to complain.

You even could send a copy to his boss.

But I really don't recommend that.

balalake · 09/08/2022 15:59

Find out who he has been dealing with, let your DH know, so if he comes round, your DH can ask casually how the deal with (name of company) is going.

InquiringMinds · 09/08/2022 15:59

Don’t change your lifestyle to suit him! That’s utter BS from him! When we decided to work from home permanently due to the pandemic, instead of asking our neighbours to be quiet in their garden, we opted to get air conditioning. If we hadn’t done this, we wouldn’t be able to concentrate. It cost us £400. If he is working on such big deals, he can afford air conditioning or at least move rooms around so his home office does not conflict with your use of your own garden. He has no legal right to stop you or anyone in your family living as you normally do! Unfortunately it sounds as though he is an opinionated, condescending arse who wants everyone to pander to him!

SareBear87 · 09/08/2022 15:59

Wow he's entitled!
I WFH and if I have a meeting I close the window. The rest of the time I pop noise cancelling headphones on because next doors kids are doing exactly what kids in summer do - laugh, play and have fun! There's no way I'd even consider asking them to go inside!

GreenManalishi · 09/08/2022 15:59

Ahh got to love a do you know who I am middle aged mansplainer.

I'd say it was morally the right and proper thing to do to enjoy the rest of the summer holidays in the garden. You know, really enjoy the outdoor space. Make the most of it. Encourage the kids to get stuck in there and really go for it. Lovely fresh air. Drag out all the footballs, blow up the pool, all the equipment you can muster the more exciting and whoop inducing the better, and invite all your mates round for lunch time BBQs for which you'll need to pop a speaker on the windowsill.

He will be fuming for a bit and then just move his office back to where it was before. I can't believe that he came round and tried to address you with his pyjama bottoms on, surely nobody ever got taken seriously wearing nightwear 😂

justamushypea · 09/08/2022 15:59

What an arse. I wfh and my neighbours kids are in the splashing about in their pool at the moment. I can hear them but I zone out and carry on - years of practice after having two boisterous boys rampaging about the house!
I also have a headset and nobody I have spoken to has commented on the noise.
He just wants you to know how Big and Important his penis job is 😂

RB68 · 09/08/2022 16:00

Get the kids some recorders I say

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 09/08/2022 16:00

My DH does have an important job and he does negotiate contracts worth huge amounts of money BUT he doesn’t even expect me and DS to stop making perfectly normal noise! The door to his office is shut and if it gets noisy outside (like last week when neighbour was have his drive replaced) he shuts the window. I do avoid hoovering upstairs while he is working but otherwise we just behave as if he’s not even here.

OPs neighbour is a knob of the highest order!

BlokeHereInPeace · 09/08/2022 16:01

Your response was brilliant. The bloke's a wanker.

Leafy3 · 09/08/2022 16:01

I also think every future conversation you have with him should include details about your Very Important tasks.

Can't stop now, Steven, I have a Very Important Dinner to cook, but we're going away next week on a Very Important Trip, would you please put the Very Important Bins out again? You're so good at it!

greatblueheron · 09/08/2022 16:01

Put your mobile to your ear in the garden and shout loudly into it. "Honey, we need to look into buying stocks of (list Big Companies neighbour is talking about merging with each other. Neighbour has tipped me off that there are mergers in the works!"

UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 09/08/2022 16:01

I have three spare roosters you could have. They're incredibly loud and haven't read the memo about only crowing at dawn. They're happy to oblige at any hour of the day or night. They'll out-macho Mr Very Important Man in minutes.

Dixiechickonhols · 09/08/2022 16:01

If he carries on I’d be very tempted to have a conversation at your table each time he’s on a call - I’m sure there’s plenty of topics his workmates would enjoy - booking dog in for his anal glands squuezjng etc. Or grasp enough to be able point out what a massive confidentiality risk he’s taking.

frugalkitty · 09/08/2022 16:02

I think you handled him very well OP. We thought about putting a cabin at the end of the garden as an office for DH after lockdown put an end to most of his travelling for work, but decided against it due to the noise of next doors kids and lack of 'keep it down a bit, no one else wants to listen to you screaming' from the parents. But ours isn't just the usual children playing, it's full on screaming and tantrums which I really hope they'll grow out of. Hope your DH backs you up too, your neighbour sounds like a pompous twat.

Dreamstate · 09/08/2022 16:02

If he is saying anything about a company due to be listed or merged check them out and see if you can make some buying buying stock lol then you could afford to move out! Become a millionaire lol oh to dream

RivetingRory · 09/08/2022 16:03

Wow he's entitled!
I WFH and if I have a meeting I close the window.

This!! And I close it so not to disturb my neighbours who are enjoying their garden and shouldn't be subjected to loud boring meeting talk.

limitedperiodonly · 09/08/2022 16:05

Apologies for not reading beyond the first page. I just wanted to say you handled it brilliantly. Your son and his friends sound like well-behaved young people enjoying the summer. You are all grown ups and the neighbour is a baby.

"I am very impotent indeed!" What a tool. Off to read and enjoy the rest of your thread.

Knitwit101 · 09/08/2022 16:06

The crux of the matter is that you moved your office to an unsuitable space for such Very Important Job

I'm going to get dh to say this if he comes back tonight. I couldn't say it without laughing and that would ruin it.

But seriously, to whoever said they worked in mergers, surely he wouldn't be saying anything confidential in his loud and important job though an open window? Wouldn't he get in trouble for that? I wouldn't be surprised if the neighbours behind us could hear him too but maybe he hasn't thought of that. I guess he's kind of side on to them though rather than right above.

Maybe he actually has a really mundane job and just shouts all this stuff out the window for effect?

The kids have gone back outside with a football, they didn't want to go to the park. I'm at the other side of the house now, I can't listen to him any more.

OP posts: