Would I be unreasonable to raise an issue with what a so-called friend said to me?

[Keyansier]

I have always looked very young for my age, which was a hinderance as a teenager and young adult but as I have got older I have embraced and taken upon the fact that that I look young as a blessing (I am now 28 btw but look like I am in the teenagers years range)

I bought a bottle of wine for dinner from the shop on the way home for me and my DBF last night (we are in a same-sex relationship) amongst other stuff and expected to show ID as normal and didn't get asked, so I jokingly said "Are you not going to ask me for ID for the wine?" and the (obviously gay a nd young) guy who was on the till stared at me and looked me up and down and said: "no, I don't think that's necessary."

I paid for my things without much further words and went home but was a bit upset. Later, I had a VERY SMALL cry to myself in private about it in the toilet and then when I told my friend later and told him what happened he was very nonchalant and said my crying was for attention-seeking and I always do it to try and get attention, even though I had JUST told him that I had cried to myself in total private and for very briefly, about ten seconds in total, if that!! I spoke to my DP later and he agreed with me that it was horrible but AIBU for being furious by the callous words from a so-called friend and should I lessen contact with them?

This has to be a joke post right????

Cos no one unless they are suffering from MH issues would behave like this.

What is "the teenagers range"? Is it like a shooting range for teenagers? Or a sort of special ranch run by teenagers in Texas?

It's an 'obvious put down' to suggest you look over 25 when you are in fact over 25?!!

Christ, OP. Life has enough genuine problems to be upset about. There's really no need to whip up drama for literally no reason!

The fact you missed @Thereisnolight sarcasm says a lot about your level of maturity lol

Stop being so dramatic, crying over something like that is just silly and childish. That doesn’t mean you should not be human or have feelings.

So, you're a gay 28 year old bloke who had a cry because the young "obviously" gay guy didn't think you looked under 25?! Or are you really offended because he didn't fancy you and flirt with you by pretending he thought you looked under 25?

Goodness gracious, grow up.

So the young gay man didn't ID you OR flirt with you so you cried for 10 seconds and told your friend all about it and you wonder why he thinks you're dramatic and needy?

Why cry all over the place it's not that big a deal .

You asked to be ID, cried over not get ID'd and then told people... all 3 things are wierd together they are a clusterfuck of wierd.

Getting ID'd is a pain in the arse, I regularly get ID'd and its not a compliment to have to scamble through my bag looking for my drivers licence and worse on the times its fallen out or is being renewed and Im not allowed my item.

It is zero comment on how 'sexy' you are to be ID'd, infact by saying you look like a child they are implying we are the ugly ducklings that have emerged as swans yet.

No fully grown adult that is not a bit 'dodgy' should be hitting on you by calling you underage looking jailbait + you say you didnt fancy him so why care enough to 'cry'.

I sometimes watch them ID my 55 year old mother + many other CLEARLY elder family members they are just being 'polite' (which is strange to me, but like you society has some how decided this annoying carade should be a compliment).

Babe, come ooooooooonnn!!

I don't want to be harsh when you're not in the best place but really, you're an adult. A grown ass man of OVER 25.

It's not 'robotic' to not cry over stupid little things, it's just ADULTING. Learning to brush off the little things is just a part of life, you can't get bogged down in them.

Have a think if you need counselling for low self esteem because something that small knocking you to the point of tears is a bit of shocking reaction, honestly - hence the ratio!

Maybe your friend was trying to be supportive by letting you know that you do have a tendency to catastrophise? Rather than considering distancing from them I really think you'd be better off taking some time to think about whether or not there was some truth you need to deal with in their words.

A true friend tells you when you're being a knob, OP! That's a GOOD thing!

Crying to yourself isn't the overly dramatic bit (just the slightly ridiculous but(. The having to tell someone about how you cried when the man in the shop didn't fancy you and think you were 24 is what's dramatic

I’m normally the person who hates this question but why was mumsnet your chosen outlet for this question?

What has your or anyone else's sexual orientation got to do with the story?

@BMW6 😂😂😂😂😂😂

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Later, I had a VERY SMALL cry to myself in private about it in the toilet and then when I told my friend later and told him what happened he was very nonchalant and said my crying was for attention-seeking and I always do it to try and get attention, even though I had JUST told him that I had cried to myself in total private and for very briefly, about ten seconds in total, if that!!

You cried in private to yourself but then made sure you told someone about it. That is attention seeking. If it was just in private then fine.

As an aside I have never been asked for ID in my life, and I’ve been drinking in pubs since I was 14. (Heterosexual as that seems to be important)

Yeesh, YABVU.

I felt like having a little cry to myself when I was asked for my passport at Disneyland to have a margarita halfway through a hot and
exhausting day. I didn’t have my passport because who brings their actual physical passport to Disney? I clearly look my age (nearly 40). It didn’t matter that I had 3 kids in tow. THAT is worth crying over. Surely it’s a good thing if people no longer ask for ID as it’s quicker to get out of the shop?!

😋

Your mum’s not Samantha Brick, by any chance….?

Ah. That terrible moment you realise you’re not a twink anymore. I feel for you. It can be a vicious wake up call

@mam0918

I sometimes watch them ID my 55 year old mother + many other CLEARLY elder family members ... they are just being 'polite.'

Oh come ON!!!!!!!!!! 😂 That has never happened. A 55 year old woman 'and more elder family members', being asked for I.D. for booze. As if! 😆😂

I am so confused by the friend/partner thing. I can just imagine my partners face if I introduced him to someone “hi, this is my friend Bob”. Bizarre

also you are being verrrrrry unreasonable

I used to have the same problem OP. I had to carry ID with me until I was at least 30 and actually, wouldn’t buy an age restricted product if I wasn’t carrying any and I’m 40 now.

But yes, there was a day when I realised I hadn’t been asked for it for a while. I was a bit disappointed but not upset.

If I was your friend I probably would have laughed it off. I don’t think it was necessary for them to insult you or start a row over it.

@Bard6817 MH issues do not make one behave like this; being an immature, attention seeking individual make one behave like this.