Man in women’s changing rooms (NOT trans)

[DelisButAlsoCrime]

I genuinely don’t know if I am being unreasonable here or not.

I went swimming with DS today, and arriving at the same time of us was a mini bus with 8 adults - 7 men, one woman. It was fairly obvious that most of the males were disabled, not quite as severe as Down’s Syndrome but similar. The woman and one of the men were caring for them. All but one of the men went with the male carer to the men’s changing room, but the female and one of the men went, just ahead of me, into the female dressing room. The woman actually held the door open for me but I kind of did a double take and held back. I thought about going to reception and asking them but decided not to. When I went in they had gone into one of the private cubicles. However, they did come out before I was ready and the man came around the corner and was looking quite obviously into the open changing spaces.

AIBU to be uncomfortable with this? I don’t know if there is a disabled changing room at my gym because this would be the obvious answer if he needed to be specifically with the female carer.

I’m not bowing out, I’m off to bed now, so bye!

I was obviously addressing someone else’s post. I’ve not time for people who think violence against women and children isn’t a huge problem.

Depends.

I saw a mother taking a late teen boy/man with mental disability into the women's toilets. I came in with my daughter and she explained straight away. I had no issues with it. 🤷🏻‍♀️ but he looked to be very challenged

That is what seems most correct

It wasn’t mixed sex, it was the womens toilets at the motorway services.

Christ

Trans women aren't women. They are biological men and shouldn't be in women only spaces.

Everyone has a right to feel safe. One group's feelings does not trump another's legal right.

I am very comfortable with trying to protect other women and keeping them safe. Therefore I oppose men using woman's spaces.

The issue of the thread is discussing a male in a female only changing rooms. It is the same thing.

If it was about staff ratios then the male carer should have taken his quota of men into the male changing room while the female carer looked after the extra man. Then female carer could have looked after those who were changed while male carer took the extra man into the men's to change.

He should not have been taken into the women's changing room. I am guessing the pool staff did not know about this, so it would be reasonable to let them know so they can have a word with the group when they next come.

I am aware that quite a lot of services and facilities have become mixed sex but FOI requests reveal that no EIA has been carried out, oops, that will be expensive in the event of a court case. You'll have to forgive me but I do not share your faith that any meaningful or competent risk assessment will have been carried out for mixed sex facilities. I suspect women wouldn't have been raped on "single sex" NHS ward or in a female prison if that had been the case. But hey it's just a few women, who cares.

You won't answer the questions about consequence because you know that's the element of risk assessment which makes your position indefensible regardless of likelihood.

You don't seem to understand there is a myriad of reasons why this could have happened

There are no reasons for men to be in womens spaces. There should be alternatives available, and if not, then it's not a suitable space for that activity.

Why do women have to compromise on their feelings and safety to accommodate the needs of men?

Once again (for the lurkers, because you’re clearly too dim to see when you are out of your depth) - statistical significance is not a useful way to assess risk. Like a lot of anti-women activists, it seems you have picked up a scientific term without understanding it, and are chucking it around, trying to make yourself look clever.

Statistical significance takes a hypothesis (question) with the answer yes or no, and asks, do my data suggest that this is true?So for example, my hypothesis might be @CherryColaRoller is a goady men’s right activitist. Then I look at my data and assess whether the likelihood that that hypothesis is true.

Statistical significance cannot tell you anything about the risk of being sexually assaulted in a mixed sex changing room. That’s an incredibly complex question, with myriad variables. No one will have an accurate figure for risk per visit. You don’t know the denominator so you have no idea what that 120 figure means. It’s 120 reports of assaults - it isn’t the total number of assaults, or the rate per year, as you seem to think.

What we do know incontrovertibly is that, based on reported assaults, the risk is much higher in mixed sex facilities than single sex. You can try to obfuscate as much as you want, but that’s the point that anyone reading this needs to understand.

There is no way that what they did conformed to the swimming pool changing room rules. Just phone the pool, speak to the manager, tell them what happened and say you thought they should know as it made you and some of the other women changing uncomfortable and leave it at that.

Not sure why people are talking about sexual assault. The guy was being cared for by a carer, it’s only him looking at women that’s the issue here.

Suggesting someone that had been assaulted is wanting attention is nasty and dangerous, people reading this might be put off reporting an assault based on comments such as that. Lacking compassion is one thing, but I wouldn’t do it so openly because it can be damaging to others.

Every single person that has been assaulted is significant because it shouldn’t happen to anyone. Even if the number had been 1, that person is significant. A busy mixed sex space is completely different to OP being undressed in a singe sex area and a man walking in. If you can not understand why that might be a problem then I really suggest you look up consent in detail before you interact with any other human or you might find yourself in a lot of trouble.