To wish people would stop commenting on my parenting.

[1CrustyJuggler]

I have one child who is autistic and 5 years old. I don't use autism to excuse bad behaviour before anyone says that but the truth is, a lot of the behaviours we struggle with are due to DS being autistic and that's just the fact of the matter. The last 5 years have been very isolating and difficult. I've had so many occasions where people have shouted at me for the way DS has behaved that its just become a part of daily life to be judged all the time but I still find it exhausting.
The summer holidays are understandably difficult trying to navigate suitable places to take DS that are entertaining but also not too busy etc. Its a minefield and I don't always get it right. Again today a parent came over to me and told me DS's behaviour was awful and disrespectful and that it doesn't say much for my parenting.
I get it. DS with other children is hard work and difficult to manage. I do my best but I'm only human and don't get it right all the time but I'm just so worn down from always being attacked by other people for something that's out of my control. I just wish people would either think before they speak and consider that there may be special needs at play here and not just a "naughty" child or keep their opinions to themselves entirely.
That being said I do understand where they are coming from as parents who are looking out for their own children. Its just a very difficult situation that never seems to get any better.

What level of support is he getting in school. I have know children get 2:1 support at all times to enable them to stay in school.

If you look at the OP's posts, the poor child is getting to sit in a cupboard with the SENCO for a single hour at a time. That's the 'support' he's getting.

It’s very isolating OP, I get it. I would never comment on someone else’s parenting but had multiple parents at (the very few) birthdays we were invited to telling me that their child says DS is very clever but very naughty. You are doing better than me, I bought into it to my DS’s detriment. He was diagnosed with ADHD and ASD at 8 after a total meltdown down at school and now I realise that it isn’t him, or my parenting. You are doing your best and being an advocate. Your child will thank you for it.

Agree with others to send your sonto his school as often as possible and also flag up to the LA that he's currently only attending 4 hours per week on the school's advice. It's the LA's job to find him a school place, not his current school's.

Has he got an EHCP?

Sorry OP missed your post about taking it to court already. Good luck

if another kid hit mine, I wouldn’t automatically blame the parents- all kids can be mean and violent at times.

I know you have good intentions but calling a child - especially an ND child - "mean" for hitting is part of the problem and reinforces the misconception that these children are hitting for "mean" reasons, when actually it's mostly down to overwhelm or not being able to cope or express themselves effectively in other ways. They are not hitting out of meanness.

"If you look at the OP's posts, the poor child is getting to sit in a cupboard with the SENCO for a single hour at a time. That's the 'support' he's getting."

This can be challenged. School has best endeavours duty. LA has an absolute duty. Neither will do anything unless they are forced. We have been there. You have to make an absolute nuisance of yourself.

I totally get being judged with an ASD child, it's horrible. That being said I would absolutely not be putting him in situations where he can or does hurt other children by being too rough, that is unacceptable and I would pissed if another kid did that to my child ASD or not. That doesn't mean keeping him cooped up indoors at all there are plenty of activities you can do that don't involve busy soft play or park playground.