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AIBU?

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Original poster

Splitting the bill

139 replies

nalabae · 05/08/2022 23:11

Yes I know this gets asked often so I will keep it short.
meal came to £82. I had an issue with my main it was taken off the bill, it was like £13/14
they both had full fat cokes and I had water.

friend said we split 3 ways, I gave £20 which even for the starters and water I had was more. They still insisted I give another £5 so it’s 3 ways.
I was hesitant but did.

im not one to count pennies but when my meal was obviously more than yours why should I cover the cost of your meal too?

this friend has a habit of doing it, she eats a lot, will order several starters and cokes. When I usually just have a main and water (just my preference not being cheap)

opinion?

OP posts:
GrumpyPanda · 05/08/2022 23:13

Just do separate bills. Problem solved.

MbatataOwl · 05/08/2022 23:14

No such thing as full fat coke, it's full sugar.

VioletPickles · 05/08/2022 23:14

I’d always split it evenly. Regardless of the water.

Aquamarine1029 · 05/08/2022 23:15

This ridiculous situation can easily be prevented by asking for separate bills.

ilovesooty · 05/08/2022 23:16

It's not as if they had alcohol and you didn't. I'd just split it.

5foot5 · 05/08/2022 23:16

When you say you had an issue with your main do you mean you couldn't eat it at all or was there just some slight issue which meant it wasn't quite up to the expected standard

Jedsnewstar · 05/08/2022 23:17

It’s only the ones who eat/drink the most insist on splitting evenly. Basically they expect others to substitute their gluttony.
Then guilt trip you into feeling cheap if you don’t, because they are also twats.

Nekomata · 05/08/2022 23:17

Them: Shall we split the bill?
You: Actually, I'd rather just pay for my own.

alnawire · 05/08/2022 23:17

5foot5 · 05/08/2022 23:16

When you say you had an issue with your main do you mean you couldn't eat it at all or was there just some slight issue which meant it wasn't quite up to the expected standard

It doesn't matter. It was taken off the bill which is the relevant factor.

Rainbowqueeen · 05/08/2022 23:19

When you order, tell the wait staff that you would like to pay separately for your share.

HeckyPeck · 05/08/2022 23:20

Jedsnewstar · 05/08/2022 23:17

It’s only the ones who eat/drink the most insist on splitting evenly. Basically they expect others to substitute their gluttony.
Then guilt trip you into feeling cheap if you don’t, because they are also twats.

Agreed! And they have the gall to accuse the people that dont want to split the bill of being penny pinchers for not wanting to fund their greed. So selfish!

MichelleScarn · 05/08/2022 23:44

this friend has a habit of doing it, she eats a lot, will order several starters and cokes. When I usually just have a main and water (just my preference not being cheap)

Several starters plus main?!

thistimelastweek · 05/08/2022 23:48

Next time meet in the park and bring your own picnic

NotMushroomInEre · 05/08/2022 23:51

If my meal was taken off the bill, but I'd eaten a significant amount of it, I would still split the bill equally, although, if what I'd ordered wasn't up to scratch, I'd order something else. I wouldn't be concerned about what drinks I had, and what my friends had.

If, however, I was with friends who ordered a starter, main and dessert, and all I fancied was a main, I'd either top the bill up with alcohol for me or just tell them I was paying my own bill.

BabyDreamers · 05/08/2022 23:55

It's the one's who eat and drink most who want to split it as its a better deal for them. Selfish. You should not have paid all that op.

Becky6758 · 05/08/2022 23:58

did the £82 include a service charge?

Brented · 05/08/2022 23:59

It sounds like you’ve been out with these people before, so if you’ve always split, and you didn’t want to this time, I think you should have said. Next time just be clear at the beginning you want to just pay your own.

Disagree with previous posters though about people who order the most want to split, I always split the bill with my friends and I never have pudding.

Penguinsaregreat · 06/08/2022 00:00

I think it’s really off if someone’s share comes to say £50 and another persons is £30 that the person consuming £50 expects to split the bill.

VyeBrator · 06/08/2022 00:03

im not one to count pennies but when my meal was obviously more than yours why should I cover the cost of your meal too?

But you literally are counting the pennies by saying that ^^ (and that's ok).

However, I would've just split it. I can't stand all the 'She/he and this and so and so had that', when going out for a meal - it's embarrassing and spoils the evening.

Unless of course someone was taking the piss and ordering champagne and oysters obviously.

Kite22 · 06/08/2022 00:30

If I am out with a couple of friends, then I'd just split it. These things work out over time. Not just over what you eat but over the way you are there for one another or who drives who etc.

If I am out for a meal with people just 'know' - so maybe colleagues or people I do a hobby with - and it isn't something that is going to balance out over time, I'd be more inclined to say we should all pay for what we had. I don't feel the same willingness to pay for Bob from sales or Joan from accounts as I do for someone I care for and really like.

In the case of the meal being deducted from the bill, I think it depends if that means you haven't really had a main meal then, or if you did manage to eat quite a lot of it and then they refunded the cost of it later.

If you all went for a starter and a main and one drink each, I would just split it, tbh. I usually drink water as I don't like sugary drinks, but I am happy to treat my friends to 1/3 of a glass of pop each. That would just be penny pinching.

jetadore · 06/08/2022 00:37

This is a real black and white divide between people, you’re either a splitter or a separator by nature and the responses will be informed by that rather than the specific of your particular situation. If I were you I’d front up and ask for separate bills, or stop eating out with this friend, or keep eating out with them and try to not let it annoy you.

possiblypassable · 06/08/2022 02:02

What kind of "friend" expects you to pay for more than the cost of what you ordered?

Stop going out with them or ask for separate bills. If they try to make you feel guilty, definitely stop seeing them. Why waste your life with someone who bullies you into subsidising their meal?

possiblypassable · 06/08/2022 02:05

And no, these things don't always even out over time. Not when one person habitually orders more expensive food or drink or always eats much more than you do.

I'd much rather sit home alone than go out with someone who would treat me that way. They know they're taking advantage. That's why they're so insistent on splitting the bill!

MintJulia · 06/08/2022 02:09

Just ask for separate bills.

echoecha · 06/08/2022 02:14

A full fat coke? Did it have lard in it?

Tbh OP, I think you're making a fuss over nothing.