Splitting the bill

[nalabae]

Yes I know this gets asked often so I will keep it short.
meal came to £82. I had an issue with my main it was taken off the bill, it was like £13/14
they both had full fat cokes and I had water.

friend said we split 3 ways, I gave £20 which even for the starters and water I had was more. They still insisted I give another £5 so it’s 3 ways.
I was hesitant but did.

im not one to count pennies but when my meal was obviously more than yours why should I cover the cost of your meal too?

this friend has a habit of doing it, she eats a lot, will order several starters and cokes. When I usually just have a main and water (just my preference not being cheap)

opinion?

There are places now where you order in an app and pay for your own food.

See if you can orchestrate going to somewhere like that next time.

If not then you may have to speak up before ordering. Maybe say due to cost of living you can no longer afford to split bills etc. But tell them in organising not after you have all eaten.

From the beginning of a meal just say let’s pay for our own. I think it’s cheeky if your main was removed- them having a coke wouldn’t overly bother me.

Indeed. We also use full-fat beer to distinguish between alcoholic and non-alcholic.

I agree.

Ah i didn't know that. Whats wrong with alcoholic and non alcoholic?

Nothing. It's just a jokey way of saying it. Someone one here said they also used to refer to alcoholic/non-alcholic beer as leaded and unleaded.

I don't drink coke but I would also refer to full sugar coke as full fat. It's just a jokey way of doing so.

Got it thank you for taking the time to explain.

If it's a huge difference then of course just pay for what you had.

But a Coke vs water? Come on. Stop being tight and just split it.

Everyone pays their own. I think that should be the default.

*notacooldad · Today 08:04

I usually don't mind if we split or pay separate.
What is annoying is those that pay separate often wait until someone has worked out what each person/ couple owe and then someone says that actually they want to pay their own way. Speak up at the beginning of the meal instead of being a bloody nuisance once someone has sorted out the tip and what everyone is paying

Or even when the bill arrives

I prefer to do it at the start, especially if it's a large crowd that you are with. At the beginning a waiter can start a separate tab. If you leave it until the last minute you may have gone to the loo or bar ,or outside for a smoke or whatever when the bill arrives. It just saves pissing about and everyone knows where they stand.
Personal choices but for me its just as easy to get it out of the way early in.

People always ask me to work out the bill. Because I do it fairly. I take everything into account roughly - split evenly if everyone has had main and starter. Account for those that have had water, a coke, wine. Easy. Takes seconds. I'm quick.

You have been ripped off because you had no main.

That's a helpful answer.

This gives me the rage! I remember at uni we had a night out for a friends birthday, there were a group of girls who were nasty to a few people, myself included. The ring leader and her posse had steak, loads of wine, 3 courses and others were modest - my bill was something like £12 (this was 20 years ago!) and my friend was needing to save money and spend something tiny like £6 ... because of this group of arseholes that insisted it was split evenly everyone's part was huge - something like £35 ish each ... my friend dumped her share and left, the poor birthday person ended up paying what others wouldn't pay because of these greedy arses

So you paid 20 just for water?

It's a fiver. You say you are not counting pennies, but you are really. It's not as though they ordered a bottle of wine that you didn't drink, it's a few quids difference. Let it go, don't agree to restaurant dinners - or insist on seperate bills but you will look tight.

Just say at the beginning of the meal you want to pay for what you order. That way expectations are clear.

meal came to £82.

friend said we split 3 ways, I gave £20

did you say anything as you handed over £20 because if you didn’t I’d assume you were just bad at maths.

My friends and I usually take turns to pay at lunch but often at dinner we just pay our own because some like alot of alcohol and I rarely drink.

It is always those that order more that want to split the bill.

Tell your friends next time that you will pay for what you ordered.

Normally I would say yabu op but seeing as your main course was taken off of the bill because you had an issue with it then I think you should have seen the financial benefit of this on this occasion. So you should have just paid for exactly what you ate plus any service charge. Although if I had an issue with my food I wouldn't want to pay a service charge to be honest.

Why is this always such an issue on MN?

It's not rocket science.

Do you know and eat out with the people regularly?

Yes - Unless the difference is vast, say over a tenner, Split the bill, it will even out over time.

No - Say at the start of the meal, 'are we splitting or paying separately?'
followed by 'I'm happy to do either' or 'I'd prefer to pay separately'

Then, everyone knows where you and they stand. You might find some want to split, (eg sharing starters, bottles of wine etc.) some want to pay separately, that's fine, the ones who want to pay separately do so, (but it's up to them to ask for a separate bill) and the rest split.

If you know and eat out with the people regularly but are a bit skint, you say at the start of the meal 'just to let you know, I'm a bit hard up at the mo, so I'm only going to order xxxx and I'll pay for my own'. Your friends will say 'ok, that's great' and work the rest of the bill out for themselves.

Really it's not hard. I've done all of the above at different times in my life, depending on friendships and finances. The thing is to let everyone know at the start, if people have invited you out, they want your company, and they really don't want to leave you feeling hard done by.

The only time it makes it more difficult is when those who want to have their own bills, start wittering, that they want to share a bottle of wine, But then you usually find that the ones who are more willing to split are also more likely to say 'oh for goodness' sake, you can have a glass of wine on me!' (just wanted to give a bit of love for the splitters as they are often seen as greedy, soulless, pariahs on MN, but we're really not, we just like things simple!)

It was a fivers difference. As she was fully able to pay 14 for her main meal clearly she could afford a fiver. I can’t imagine being out with friends and arguing over a fiver if I can afford it.

and those going on about gluttony and having the most, it was a fivers difference, which if you take in to account the cola, likely meant the op ate the most.

I hate these scenarios and paying on the app was so much better during Covid eating out times (one of the very few things that I liked)
We've been stung a lot by £20 main course plus dessert plus drinks ordering people when we've had no booze and a pizza trying to split bill and paying less than their main course. So for the sake of simple maths, if splitting it say was £18 each but they'd ordered £20 main, then they must know that's not right ?

It isn’t really a fiver, her main was deducted so was free. She paid £20 for water and a disappointing main.
Her friends are not very considerate.
Next time, order a glass of champagne or something special you like and enjoy your friends contributing towards it!

Did you have enough to eat or did you leave feeling hungry? Did the others share their mains?

Hilarious those saying cough up it was ONLY a fiver! Why aren't you saying it was ONLY £2.50 each to the others? I imagine there are a lot of 'eat loads/split the bill/get subsidised/call the complainers tight' types on here!