Splitting the bill

[nalabae]

Yes I know this gets asked often so I will keep it short.
meal came to £82. I had an issue with my main it was taken off the bill, it was like £13/14
they both had full fat cokes and I had water.

friend said we split 3 ways, I gave £20 which even for the starters and water I had was more. They still insisted I give another £5 so it’s 3 ways.
I was hesitant but did.

im not one to count pennies but when my meal was obviously more than yours why should I cover the cost of your meal too?

this friend has a habit of doing it, she eats a lot, will order several starters and cokes. When I usually just have a main and water (just my preference not being cheap)

opinion?

With you 100%
you should pay for what you had end of

I only ever suggest splitting the bill (for ease, because I’m lazy) if I’ve had less than other people. I think it’s rude to suggest splitting if you’ve actually had appreciably more than everyone else.

Just ask for separate bills.

They had coke not a bottle of wine! I would have been happy to split the bill in this scenario and would have been happy to “share” the discount of your meal credit assuming you still ate it and didn’t sit there with nothing whilst they ate.

I have a few friends that I meet maybe twice a year for a meal, as a group.

All three of them will order expensive mains, puddings, sides, and have an alcoholic drink or three. I'd order something cheaper, only a main, and drink water, but then split the bill evenly.

I think it happened two or three times and each time I said I'll just pay for my own, but they insisted. "Oh it's easier to just split!" I felt like I was subbing their meals! Paying £45/50 instead of £20.

Now, to stop me feeling resentful, I make sure I order after they do, and I order the same amount as they have. So if they've ordered an expensive main, so do I. If they order cocktails, so do I.

One commented last time after we got the bill that it's getting expensive! Yup, I'm not subbing you anymore.

It's the principle and I think they know what they're doing!

I wouldn't go out with "friends" who expected me to subsidise their choices.

I'm happy to split bills if it's roughly even, but no way would I want to pay for someone else to have several starters and cokes (cokes cost as much as beers in restaurants) and I wouldn't want others paying for mine either!

🙄

This.

Does sound like you’re both a bit cheap, arguing over a fiver, you with your water and main sitting there watching her apparently eating several starters.

odd as 😂

I usually don't mind if we split or pay separate.
What is annoying is those that pay separate often wait until someone has worked out what each person/ couple owe and then someone says that actually they want to pay their own way. Speak up at the beginning of the meal instead of being a bloody nuisance once someone has sorted out the tip and what everyone is paying.

This. Simple isn't it.

Or even when the bill arrives.

“A full fat coke - did it have lard in it”🙄

Fuck sake we all know what she means! The only one you’re making look stupid is yourself!

Your main was taken off the bill so you shouldn't pay equal shares.

If everything is even (ish) I don't mind splitting but when situations like this pop up it's always better to just pay for what you had on the final bill

I think your friends were rude to insist, and you should have stood your ground.

That being said, I have a group of friends I've known for years. One of them was notorious for searching for the cheapest food item, never tipped and had tap water, if we were all paying for our own food/drinks. However, when someone else paid as a treat, she would order multiple courses and cocktails.

We also found out that she once offered to collect the cash/tips when paying our own way and put it on her card, and then used our tips to give herself a discount. We don't see her any more...

It's no trouble at all for a waiter to do separate bills, it's always the cheeky fuckers who consume far more that like the idea of paying less at the expense of someone who had a significantly cheaper bill.

I have often been the one that has had alcohol and an extra course, compared to someone else with soft drinks and just a main. I always make it clear I will be paying in full for my share as I don't want to cause anyone else to pay for more than they had. It's just shitty behaviour.

If everyone at the table has had the same number of soft/alcoholic drinks and same number of courses I would happily split because it's only going to be pennies, or a few pounds difference. It's not worth the aggro nitpicking over it.

I think the key is always making it clear it at the beginning of the meal and telling the waiter in advance so there is no awkwardness at the end.

I'm usually happy to split the bill equally. But if someone in the group wanted to pay less because their main had been taken off the bill I wouldn't start arguing and insisting they hand over the full amount. That's rude and childish.

FGS if your friend does this all the time why do you not say anything? I regularly eat out with two different sets of friends from my first job, mums from when our DS were scouts, friends from my old team and my bridesmaids that I went to school with and we have never had this crap. If someone is driving and wine is ordered we deduct that then split the rest of the bill. If we’re all drinking the same the bill gets split and if someone did or didn’t have more courses we still split it but the people that had more leave the tip. And when things have been tight financially whoever has said something about paying for themselves when they’re looking at the menu. It’s not difficult.

Depending on who i'm out with I either pay my own or we take in turns to pay. I'm not paying more because someone is ordering multiple starters or expensive options. In future just say you will pay for your own before you order.

@FrogsAreMean was just about to say that myself.

Sorry OP, but I think you’re a bit of a wimp to not say anything before the meal if this friend has form for shafting you financially.

She gets away with it because you’re letting her do it.

Why are you still friends?

In general we would split bill with friends. If I had something expensive I’d at least offer to put in extra. We have a couple in our group of friends who can be a bit weird about ordering the most expensive options then suggesting splitting the bill. When going out with them now we all just say as we are ordering can the restaurant do 3/4 tabs for the 3/4 couples to make it easier to pay separately and generally the restaurants are fine with that. I think getting stressed over exactly what each meal cost is a bit silly unless it’s a situation where you can only afford x and need to order accordingly (in which case you’d hope friends would understand entirely) or it’s blatantly obvious that someone in a group orders really expensive options every time you go out and pushes the prices up significantly. We noticed it with our friends after a couple of occasions someone suggested going for a meal deal at an Indian or Italian for a “cheap and cheerful” evening but they ordered off the main menu. Obviously people can have whatever they want but it did seem
rude to go for top price a la carte items when everyone else was doing the £15 set menu and had suggested a cheap night out and then expect to split the bill.

Indeed and everyone knows full fat coke is a tongue-in-cheek term and that it does indeed contact a great deal of sugar and no fat

OP is NBU and should have said she didn’t want to pay for her pal’s garlic bread

Don’t be a dick 🙄 it’s a widely used expression.

You need to stand your ground. If that ends the friendship, they’re not friends.

Of course if you’re out everything few weeks with the same people and only split when it’s in your favour to, that’s wrong. But that isn’t what’s happening here. Every has a calculator in their pocket these days so it’s not hard.