Did DD deserve to be told off??

603 replies

PillowFeather · 04/08/2022 20:46

My sister came around earlier. DD (9) was being quite animated dancing around in the living room. I went to make a cup of coffee and just as I walked back into the room I heard my sister say “don’t come clarting around me!”. DD stopped dancing, gave a nervous laugh then retreated upstairs to her room. I shouted up that I’d made her a drink and got no reply so I went up to find her crying. I asked what was wrong and she shouted at me to go away.

I went back downstairs and asked my sister what had happened and she said “she was doing that stupid dance around me and I can’t be arsed with it, she needs to grow up”.

DD is quite immature for her age and it doesn’t help that my niece (sisters DD) is the same age but mature for her age. Niece is spending the holidays hanging out with friends whereas DD doesn’t have any friends 😞

I can’t get it out of my head, I think DD was embarrassed and I don’t think she deserved to be told off?! Or am I being soft?

OP posts:

sunsetsandsandybeaches · 06/08/2022 11:45

N27 · 06/08/2022 11:07

I honestly don’t understand some of these comments.

the child is happy

the mother is happy

the aunt is the one who “can’t be arsed with it” so should go back to her own house and leave everyone else to it

Are you reading the same thread as everyone else?

The child isn't happy. She struggles to fit in, can't make friends in or out of school and is isolated amongst her similarly-aged cousins.
Mum isn't happy either as she's concerned about her DD. If she was happy with her DD's behaviour, she wouldn't have posted here for advice.

The aunt isn't the only one who has raised concerns either - grandparents, other relatives and more than one activity instructor have all had issues with the DD's behaviour, so there's clearly a lot more going on here.

sunsetsandsandybeaches · 06/08/2022 11:51

Phineyj · 06/08/2022 11:33

One thing you learn quickly when you have a child with SEN (or let's say any kind of behavioural or developmental challenge, given that there's a lot of armchair diagnosis on here) is that as well as the extra stress, hassle and expense that comes with dealing with the SEN, some people will also blame you for it.

I'm not surprised the OP hasn't been back! She probably gets enough of that from her own family.

The vast majority of posters haven't blamed OP.

But even if a child does have SEN or other developmental issues, you can still help them learn appropriate behaviour, or push to get them assessed so that they have adequate support in place.

Quincythequince · 19/08/2022 08:16

PillowFeather · 04/08/2022 20:55

She wasn’t running around she acts out plays/musicals etc. She’s low on confidence and was clearly embarrassed by the whole thing.

Last weekend my dad asked her in front of all her cousins why she talks like a baby. She was embarrassed then too. I know she’s immature for her age but I can’t tell her to go out with friends when she doesn’t have any.

Show quote history

Very gently OP, have you had a chat with her about how her behaviours are affecting potential friendships?

Kids aren’t polite like adults, they simply won’t spend time with people who irritate them or who they don’t like. If she has no friends, there is probably a reason why.

Flip

1 2 ··· 20 21 22 23 24 25

Swipe left for the next trending thread