Surely two is not really easier than one?

[sarahb083]

I have one 18mo DD and not planning on having any more. People keep telling me that two is easier than one because they play together. But even if siblings are the best of friends and never fight (very unlikely 😂), you still have to care for and raise a whole other human! Am I missing something?

Nope add in all the extra expenses plus if you have a boy and a girl no hand me downs in clothing 🤣

But having said that I know they have each other when their dad and I are no longer.

Of course two aren't easier than 1 unless they're providing reciprocal care Inc washing, cooking and cleaning

Two is definitely not easier than one!

It's twice as hard 😆

Definitely not

I'm convinced it's just something parents with 2 say to convince themselves more than anything else

To begin with, two makes it more that twice as as hard. I remember saying it was harder 4-fold.

HOWEVER, as they get older, my life is a lot easier, as they entertain each other, etc.

It’s more than twice as hard. I had a good period where they played together. Now they bicker. And I want to do entirely different things. I am always jealous of my friends who only have one!

To begin with absolutely horrendous. From school age it's brilliant. They absolutely keep each other company and free you up. I think they need to be close in age though.

I always see this said on here and it baffles me!! I’ve even heard 3/4 is easier than 1! I’m sure some people believe it tbh, I have 4 and my sister use to insist it was easier than her having 1 because they can “play together” yeh never mind the fact that they fight and argue all the time, when I’m only with one it’s a walk in the park compared its honestly like a weight has been lifted, does make me laugh though when people say it.

I find that looking after two kids (when a child comes over for a play date with my only DD) is way easier than one - with the vital part being that I can hand the other one back after two hours once they’ve worn each other out 😉

Two is easier than 4.

So is three.

Some days I'm not certain one is. But that's because I only had an only for 22 months. And when I have only one of them with me now, as they are growing up, I can enjoy them separately but it does require me to be fully present in a way that can be avoided when there are a few of them.

But no. I think those telling you that 2 would be easier are not really prepared to acknowledge the realities of their own decisions.

They only entertain each other if they get on and are into the same things though, my two boys are 10 and 8 and complete opposite so no entertaining going on more like arguing.

Two of different ages can be hard yes. Twins I didn't think so, apart from the cost obviously.

The only time I've found two to be easier than one was during lockdown when having each other was a godsend compared to my friends with only children.

It's more work, especially when they're small. There's more ferrying around, more activities etc as they get older but the flipside is that they do play together a lot despite a 4-year age gap so less need for parental involvement until/unless it descends into argument.

Some aspects are definitely easier. Right now DCs (6 & 9) are quietly playing with each other while DH and I work (summer holidays are fun with 2 working parents 🙄). If it was just one of them they’d doubtless be pestering us more. Although they did spend a lot of the morning either winding each other up or shouting with wild abandon

But yep, mostly it’s harder. So much negotiating their relationship with each other. So much squabbling. So much doing stuff that one doesn’t really want to because the other does/ needs to. And double the number of clothes, mouths to feed, activities to pay for, etc.

Still, I’d have 2 all over again if I had to make the decision again.

Having seen friends with only one DC, the parents do have to provide a lot more entertainment. We are on holiday at the moment and I'm really glad my two have had each other to amuse themselves. However, there is a lot of fighting and arguing which drives me insane and you do have two different childrens' needs to balance. There seems to be a lot of driving children around to differ places, more homework to support with etc.

I don’t think its twice as hard but it depends on soooo many variables; age gap, home circumstances, everyones temperament, etc, etc.

I found one VERY hard but by 2 i was much more chilled and felt more confident, so it that respect it was easier overall, my more relaxed approach went over both kids, things i would fixate on with one kid became less significant with two, so a different perspective altogether. But yes the daily drudgery is still a lot and there’s is a lot of juggling to do. I’m a better mum
of two than was i was of one though- just a personality thing.

I found it much easier having two than one - maybe something to do with my (late diagnosed) adhd hyperfocus. I was able to chill a bit and take more in my stride.

I didn’t worry about the second one because the first one had gone through that and turned out ok, and then I stopped worry about the first one’s new problems too.

And being off the hook as a playmate is priceless.

One of the reasons we didn’t have a third was that I wanted a third and fourth. I wanted a fifth and sixth too … so dh sensibly drew a line 😂

But I can kinda see that for sane people, singles might be easier.

It depends on age gap. I have 4 years between my two so it's wasn't hard having two babies as the older one was in nursery and enjoyed "helping" with the baby. There are times they have different interests but on the whole they entertain each other and I think it's a lot easier than having only one who wants to be entertained.

Absolutely not. Mine play together nicely for about 30 seconds and spend the rest of their waking hours just bickering. It was SO much easier with one.

I found 2 easier than one. My first needed me to entertain him all the time. Also found when I ahd my 4th on his own he was a lot harder work than when my other kids were around.

When they're teens they're much easier on their own though as they bicker a lot.

Mine are just 7 and nearly 5. I’d say it was more than twice as hard in the early years, but they do play nicely together without much input from me for probably the past year now.

Whether it’s less work overall than just sticking at one I don’t know. They’re very inconsistent. I can send them off to play and not have to deal with them much for hours, or I can be a constant referee to endless bickering, arguing and screaming all day.

My dc1 was very high maintenance where as dc2 was very easy so it wasn't twice as hard for me but it wasn't easier.
They sometimes played together but they also argued which counteracts that benefit.

The initial bit is harder, managing a baby and a still dependent older sibling, meeting both their needs. It requires a lot of brainpower than you may not have due to sleep deprivation.

It can potentially be easier later if they play together well but you can't guarantee that.

As for when you're elderly, depends. We had a massive family drama with siblings of a dying parent falling out. Dealing with the situation alone would have been much easier.

No, it’s a lie people with more than one tell themselves!
i have a 9 year old and it has always been easier and less stressful for her entire life. It is important to help them
learn to enjoy their own company and play on their own, but if you do that then you’re laughing.
My dd will spend several hours happily playing in her room while listening to podcasts.