Surely two is not really easier than one?

[sarahb083]

I have one 18mo DD and not planning on having any more. People keep telling me that two is easier than one because they play together. But even if siblings are the best of friends and never fight (very unlikely 😂), you still have to care for and raise a whole other human! Am I missing something?

Easier and harder in some ways. More washing, more mouths to feed. Juggling school/nursery. They do play together but they do fight a lot too. Youngest is nearly 3 now (3 and a half year gap) and they seem to be engaging more and more. It takes the pressure off entertaining which I found overwhelming at times when we just had the 1. They love role play together and I hate it - win win!

Granny had our eldest for a week during the school holidays and it was easier with 1. Earlier bedtime, 1 story time, 1 schedule etc.

I don't think it's twice as hard. It's practically harder but mentally easier.

Practically two sets of everything, two separate drop offs to nursery/school, two children to have to teach to read/ride a bike/potty training etc are all harder.

BUT I'm much more relaxed as a parent of two DC. You have to let things go sometimes and I'm not as uptight and anxious as I was as a parent of only one DD. They entertain each other as they get older (yes, they fight too but I haven't had to build lego with DDs in ages as they do it together and that's a win for me!)

I'm occasionally jealous of friends with one DC as their houses seem calmer and quieter but then I also see how involved they have to be with entertaining their DC as there are no other playmates. I like that my DDs have that relationship together that's different to the relationship I have with each of them.

I love having two (mine are 9 and 10). It really takes the pressure off me, like having a permanent play date. They entertain each other all day so (on a good day) I can work from home and just see them at lunchtime. We just got back from holiday where they played games in the sea/pool for hours every day while I read a book. They do squabble too, but in general they get bored and lonely if the other one is not there. They are both friends with only children whose families often borrow them for their holidays/outings, and when they do the one left behind is at a loose end and needs more of my time, or a friend over. I love spending time with them myself but having two is a godsend when I’m busy/tired.

I never understood this either, OP. It stands to reason that adding to your numbers makes life more difficult.
I still did it though!

I think it is for us.

DS is 6, DD 4. I had PND with him, his baby years were super hard, he needed (and still does) loads of attention all the time. DD was a super easy baby and just kind of tagged along when I was looking after DS, who was 2. We did playgroups and softplays and toddler activities and she just joined, not much extra work. Now she is super social. They play together (and fight) and I think the pandemic was easier because they had company, the holidays etc are easier because they have company.

It was initially like having 1.25 kids, now it’s like having 0.75 in terms of work. (I mean, a washing machine does the laundry so not a lot of extra work, but less work doing the “mummy mummy play with me I am BOOOORED”)

Ridiculous statement. 2 is much harder than one.

This turning into a classic Mumsnet "anyone whose experience differs from mine is lying, stupid or just wrong". Plenty of people are explaining why, for them, it's easier to have more than one child.

2 is more work
But 1 kid you'll always have to entertain

Plus an only child is ...well.. an only child.. it's A very lonely upbringing

One child is easy-peasy for a couple here and now. Bit tougher for an only child with two ageing parents. And no aunts and uncles for DC on the only child’s side.

Honestly, I wouldn’t deliberately make a child an only.

It depends how much you like/ dislike roleplay. DS is worth every moment of additional effort he has brought is every single time he agrees to be subject to DD's games of "teachers" rather than me.

It was honestly true for me that 2 was easier than 1. And mine were 4 years apart.

@Louisall I agree with this:
in my experience it can be mentally easier. It's not all focused on one child anymore which can be intense, your child gets love and attention from another person (their sibling) not just you, and you are forced to learn to embrace some chaos which ends up being a good thing

And also @Trivester . I have ADHD recently diagnosed too and for me it was definitely exhausting to have to hyperfocus on DD1. I just couldn't diffuse my attention and it wore me out. After DD2 was born it was wonderful to be able to leave them in another room together and get some headspace. Being 4 years apart they didn't exactly play together but they entertained each other even if it was DD1 watching TV and D2 watching DD1 watch TV! It meant I could sort the washing out, cook, or just stare out of the window.

So, mentally 2 was for sure easier than 1 and practically, the change from 1 to 2 is negligible because shopping, cooking, laundry bathtime etc. etc. is no different.

2 is way harder than 1. Yes, they may entertain each other for a short time if you are lucky but in the general scheme of things, you have 2 kids to run around after, doing different after school clubs, with different interests, in different locations, at different times. Then they get older and you have one needing help with one set of exams whilst the other is out socialising or needing a lift home from a friend's house at 11pm. Travels costs are doubled, holiday costs are doubled, they might even go to different schools. 2 is far harder.