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Original poster

Stupid shit people forgot to mention about parenting

545 replies

BlahBl4h · 03/08/2022 22:07

Mine at the moment is just how many times you can be expected to watch the same fucking movie over and over and over and over.

I want to peel my eyes off.

Anyone?

OP posts:
bippityboppity87 · 05/08/2022 21:27

That I'll often find random objects/things in my bag. Socks, half eaten lolly, 3 day old donut I forgot about and a mini toy saucepan

Not to mention the amount of shite stuff you have to carry about on a daily basis if you have a day out

The amount of times I've had to tell my 6yr old DS "no you cannot bring that possible piss ridden stick back home. It has to stay here. Then having to reason with him by putting it in a "safe" place so he can retrieve it at a later date. Ditto rocks

Sarah8719 · 05/08/2022 21:30

Your kids will always be well dressed and look lovely when you leave the house. However, because you have no time- you’ll look like a tramp

Bunnyfuller · 05/08/2022 21:31

That sleepless nights and colic and teething and toilet training and tantrums don’t even START preparing you for just how self-centred and vile teenagers are.

I would like to go into stasis for 5 years and hopefully they’ll be humans again.

SnotZinwords · 05/08/2022 21:32

@Sexdoesmatter oh my god the Minecraft chat. We have just entered this new phase of hell 🤯🤯🤯

JackieGoodmanLuckLuck · 05/08/2022 21:44

Stuff!! You can't just go out you have to get their 'stuff' first....you can't just sit down when you want to as you have to move their 'stuff' first ...which takes forever...then you tread on more 'stuff', then you fall over some 'stuff'... then they ask for more 'stuff' and because they are so cute and nice to sat yes...then you realise you're in your overdraft again because you bought more 'stuff'...and it's always on the stairs...stair 'stuff'.... It can all just stuff off!!!

BinBandit · 05/08/2022 21:49

That you'll need to pick a favourite Pokemon.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 05/08/2022 21:49

That your DS will grow up to be the incredible hulk and pat your head.

BinBandit · 05/08/2022 21:51

That despite it being chopped and then blended, your child can still pick through a pasta sauce and remove any bits of basil and stick them to the side of the bowl.

MrsRinaDecker · 05/08/2022 21:52

That doing it with the wrong person is sooo much harder than doing it on your own! That you will be tied to someone for at least 18 years if you share a dc, so choose carefully.
That teenagers are actually pretty awesome (and way more fun than toddlers!) but one day you will miss Dora the Explorer.

BinBandit · 05/08/2022 21:56

That you'll never know the last time they reach their sticky hand into yours will be the last time.

Seahorsemama · 05/08/2022 22:03

Nobody ever said “ah let’s have a teenager” no we all want babies, but these babies grow… and so, so quickly they are teenagers…. And all that hard work just falls apart!

EdithBacon · 05/08/2022 22:20

That one day they want to be picked up for a cuddle, so you do. Then you put them down again and that will be the last time you ever pick them up.

supersop60 · 05/08/2022 22:28

Eloradannin2nd · 03/08/2022 22:50

Kevin the teenager was factual.
A 4 year age gap is rubbish. Just as one emerges from being a stroppy teen, Bam! There goes their sibling!!
The first time you wake up to your child standing next to your bed staring at you is the scariest experience. I dare anyone not to shout!!

I had the silent stare in the night from a child that wasn't mine - the sleepover child had a bad dream and wanted to go home.

supersop60 · 05/08/2022 22:31

BlahBl4h · 03/08/2022 22:07

Mine at the moment is just how many times you can be expected to watch the same fucking movie over and over and over and over.

I want to peel my eyes off.

Anyone?

I think I watched Snow White every day for at least a year. DD had a SW dress for Christmas and wore it every day until September. (I had to take it off her while she was asleep and wash it overnight)

GoodnightRain · 05/08/2022 22:46

That the biggest mountain you will ever have to climb will be the laundry mountain. Every. Day.

Londoncallingme · 05/08/2022 22:52

Bintymcbintface · 03/08/2022 22:16

Put a jug of water/milk/juice on the table?

Just another vessel for them to knock over and more washing up😳

itsnotmeitisactuallyyou · 05/08/2022 23:01

When you atart greeting friends with Hello Hello how are you in MR Tumble mode

Imy06 · 05/08/2022 23:36

I've been worrying that my boy isn't saying any words yet at 18 months but after reading these I'm just going to enjoy it while it lasts! 🤣

Teacakexo · 05/08/2022 23:39

Also repeat, I still suffer from PTSD from a trip to Salou with a 2 year old

Teacakexo · 05/08/2022 23:40

Muminabun · 03/08/2022 22:08

DO not go on holiday with a two year old. I repeat, do not go on holiday with a two year old.

Also repeat, I still suffer from PTSD from a trip to Salou with a 2 year old…

Mamanyt · 05/08/2022 23:50

Here in the US, a while back, our Navy ran a wildly successful ad campaign. proclaiming, "NAVY. It's not just a job, it's an adventure." I had a tee shirt made when my eldest hit two (and youngest was hitting one) years old, that read, "PARENTHOOD. It's not just a job, it's an indenture." Two kids within a year of each other, and what one wanted, the other emphatically DID NOT WANT.

MachineBee · 06/08/2022 00:00

That from the moment they can move/crawl/walk every surface/handle/corner/door will become sticky. Feels like it stays that way until they leave home. 😕

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 06/08/2022 00:00

JudgeJ · 05/08/2022 20:27

Not to forget the crap that came home from school 40+ years ago that you can't bear to throw out, in later years this will also include grandchildren's efforts. On the top of the bookcase is the candle made by granddaughter, the most phallic looking thing outside an Ann Summers shop.

Show quote history

Please can we have a picture, @SherbertLemonDrop? I need to see the phallic candle!

BigButtons · 06/08/2022 00:05

Was driving the other day with my 16 year old dd. We saw a kerb cleaning machine. “Looks there’s a noo noo” she cries.

Toloveandtowork · 06/08/2022 00:06

People say parenting is rewarding. I find it's full of sacrifice. I had mine late in life after a lot of freedom and traveling. It's so restricting and limiting.