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Original poster

Stupid shit people forgot to mention about parenting

545 replies

BlahBl4h · 03/08/2022 22:07

Mine at the moment is just how many times you can be expected to watch the same fucking movie over and over and over and over.

I want to peel my eyes off.

Anyone?

OP posts:
Shouldershrugger · 04/08/2022 16:12

@sandradailey @LuckySantangelo35

That was my experience. So not bollocks really!

Well done to you both for being able to achieve self care and for brushing your teeth before midday. If my morning breath offended anyone, whilst I was on my maternity leave and home alone btw, they could do one.

Just to assure you both, I get up at 6am and am brushing my teeth by 6.15am.

Fyi, try to tone down the judgement. We're all struggling and struggled whilst raising our children, I don't appreciate you judging me and my experiences by your standards and experiences.

MacKenzieMcHale · 04/08/2022 17:16

Tubs11 · 04/08/2022 14:38

That your home will be invaded by rocks, stones, pebbles, twigs, leaves, feathers and anything else the little magpies pick up en route from the park, shop, school etc

Oh that's one thing I sort of do miss actually! DS was always a stone kid, a collector of small treasures. He's growing out of that now, I always liked that about him.

bakewellbride · 04/08/2022 17:25

I just had to tell my preschooler off for squirting toothpaste all over the bathroom.

AuntMargo · 04/08/2022 17:41

TFMinx · 03/08/2022 22:55

If I have to watch one more episode of fucking Steve and bastard Maggie, I'm jumping into the TV and ramming that bird up his arse!!

its a bus, its a bus, its a bus .......

MercurialMonday · 04/08/2022 17:42

Toothpaste does not sound so bad - sudocrem was my nightmare.

In an effort to be helpful DD1 covered herself and her brother, at time with bad eczema, head to foot in sudocrem after finding top slightly off during a very rare solo trip to loo for me. trying to get that off in a bath was frustrating experience - water-repellent nature was unhelpful.

Still not as bad as DS who one night climbed into DD2 cot and covered her and himself in poo - we were alerted by her cries - he was 2 no explication was forth coming though the bath that time was easier.

They used to work together moving chairs and climbing to get get to treats in top cupboards - they weren't alone long either- DH used to admire there ingenuity I used to say I'd admire it another time.

Pinkandgreentrousers · 04/08/2022 18:37

ShirleyJackson · 04/08/2022 08:26

The dread words,

’We’re putting on A Show. You sit there and watch.’

Mine are in their twenties now and I still get flashbacks.

Oh God I remember the 'Watch Our Show' it made my ears and eyes bleed!!

MintyCedricRidesAgain · 04/08/2022 18:37

seramum · 04/08/2022 15:23

@MintyCedricRidesAgain

Yes! Why does no one ever mention the pain of taking your kid out when driving. Whenever I go out in mine, if I do much as flinch or rest my hand on the car door when she's driving, I get a complete lecture about how she can drive, how negative I am etc etc. I was so glad when she passed!

Thank God it's not just me.

I was never worried about any of it before she started but I bloody HATE it now.

She's one of those sickening 'naturally good at everything' types and the fact she hasn't taken to driving quite as effortlessly as she'd anticipated (she's fine at it, but it's taken effort and practice) does not make her a fun student, especially with parking.

I've bitten the bullet and agreed to take her out every day until her test and am literally counting the days.

Flippety · 04/08/2022 18:45

Teenagers are worse than toddlers and there’s worse to come!

jammiewhammie65 · 04/08/2022 19:28

That you do actually have to teach the child no and set boundaries and discipline! As lots of people think this will all just happen if you let the kid do whatever it likes then wonder why it behaves like a little shit

velvetvixen · 04/08/2022 19:57

jammiewhammie65 · 04/08/2022 19:28

That you do actually have to teach the child no and set boundaries and discipline! As lots of people think this will all just happen if you let the kid do whatever it likes then wonder why it behaves like a little shit

Yes! I had to ask my DD to please discipline her child herself while out, and not use threats of a policeman/the bus driver/ shop/cafe staff etc telling her off!

brighteyesburninglikefire · 04/08/2022 19:59

Just how fast your lovely 11 year old daughter, can turn into an accomplished liar at 12. And the absolutely ridiculous things they lie bout
At End Of Tether, the very very very End

brighteyesburninglikefire · 04/08/2022 20:00

Flippety · 04/08/2022 18:45

Teenagers are worse than toddlers and there’s worse to come!

My teen boys are wonderful. But my daughter is just about beginning to make up for that

brighteyesburninglikefire · 04/08/2022 20:03

When they're younger you can put them to bed at 7pm, and have the main TV, the contents of the fridge etc all to yourself
Now I have. Judges 19 year old questioning my consumption of sugar, how many magnums I've had, and my second glass of wine.
Fucking go to your bedroom!

brighteyesburninglikefire · 04/08/2022 20:05

Oh yes, and now 19 year old has been away cooking for himself as a student. He is back, new
Y armed with more interesting recipes, and apparently knows better ways to cook, but actually hasn't even managed to prepare his own breakfast without leaving half of it deposited all over the kitchen

Fivemoreminutesinbed · 04/08/2022 20:15

Chattycathydoll · 03/08/2022 22:32

My heart filled with pride when she first said ‘Mummy’.
No one told me that she would from that point onward say it all the time, constantly, morning til night and then also during the night until morning endlessly forever.

’Mummy, can I’
’Mummy, did you know’
’Mummy, in minecraft’
’Mummy, I’m hungry’
’Mummy, I need the toilet’ SO BLOODY GO YOU KNOW WHERE IT IS

Ha agree on the toilet bit! Mine wants company all the time. 🙄

IceStationZebra · 04/08/2022 20:16

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 04/08/2022 09:16

That even though you have used black out blinds, gro-clocks and filled the cot full of toys, you’re toddler will still wake up at 5.45 am every day, and scream until you come into them.

This, except it is 4.45.am. Every night we discuss the Gro Clock and not getting up before the sun. Every morning this is ignored.

Redlorryyellowlorryblue · 04/08/2022 20:17

The clocks going back/forwards. Such a PITA with young children.

prettygirlincrimsonrose · 04/08/2022 22:52

StClare101 · 04/08/2022 12:05

There was a stage there when I knew Hairy Mclairy off by heart. I could recite the whole book while prepping dinner as my three year old turned the pages.

I used to recite Hairy Maclairy to calm an upset DS!

There are a few things DS is into that I wouldn't have expected to be doing, including me reading to him from recipe books, recounting plots of films and talking to him when he's on the toilet ('Lets talk about Frozen, Frozen II and poo').

imnotthatkindofmum · 04/08/2022 22:56

I can still recite hairy McClairy and do all the voices I invented for the different dogs!!

We also have a book about Augustus the tiger which I read on repeat to my eldest for about 2 years!! I sometimes wonder why it's taken me until she's in her teens to question whether she might have ASD 🤷🏻‍♀️

moonlight1705 · 05/08/2022 09:41

You find yourself reading a First Aid book to your 3 year old who, when said book was hidden away, asked for the green book with the people. When questioned further, it was the green book with doctors and nurses who did danger!

On the plus side, she now knows the basic principles of CPR and how blood circulates.

Linma · 05/08/2022 17:53

GuyMontag · 03/08/2022 22:22

You will wonder, for the first time, if it's possible to die from Being Asked Questions.

Then you will wish that it was.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Angelil · 05/08/2022 18:04

Shouldershrugger · 03/08/2022 22:11

You will not be able to pee in peace. Or brush your teeth before midday with a newborn.

Not true. Even with a newborn I was dressed, teeth cleaned, makeup done, hair washed etc 🤷‍♀️ it’s not a given that basic self-care has to fall by the wayside…

Angelil · 05/08/2022 18:05

Muminabun · 03/08/2022 22:08

DO not go on holiday with a two year old. I repeat, do not go on holiday with a two year old.

Again, no…I would just say to any parent to adjust your expectations and only plan half (maximum) of what you would normally manage/want to do. This doesn’t not have to put holidays off the table.

WTAFhappened123 · 05/08/2022 18:05

The bat shit crazy school mums you’ll have to endure for 7 years of primary school!

Angelil · 05/08/2022 18:06

Ontheflipside_ · 03/08/2022 22:12

How as soon as they can move, there.is danger EVERYWHERE

Hahaha yes!!! This!!! My coffee table is no longer mine…it is covered in toys and my 3.5yo sits on it to watch TV #facepalm