Legal ways to annoy a CF neighbour.

[rightonthyme]

WIBU to ask for (completely legal) ways you got back at your neighbours? A VERY long story short, ours are CFs of the highest degree (violent towards us, and racist, and police have done diddly squat). Have done all the CCTV/security stuff. I'm not moving as love the area and all the other neighbours but I would like to make their stay as uncomfortable as possible (in a fun way, of course).Am thinking ugly gnomes, windchimes, learning the violin...Please keep it lighthearted!

I like how you can apparently tell how I feel about it from my lighthearted post. You must be Derren Brown (if you are I want your autograph).Your guess is as good as mine! They've told us they need witnesses that aren't biased (ie our other neighbours with whom we get on and have also experienced shit from these arsehole neighbours). So..

I know you're all dying for an update so here we go... The boring backstory is that the community trigger is being invoked and the council are monitoring the noise levels. A fun development is that one of the CF's current elderly lady customers audibly wished him death whilst he was on speaker phone. He told her he would live forever. I believe he is wrong, but then again he may have discovered the fountain of eternal youth. I might pop some optrex in there as per a PP :D But onto the fun stuff:Bluetooth speaker with glorious Indian wedding music/iIndian community radio playing continually by their fence/back porch/my back garden. Not loud, but it's there. All the time (within legal hours) They love it (by which I mean they have shut themselves indoors). They use the p* word liberally so I thought they might enjoy it. Gives 'em a bit of culture anyway. I have a little dance to it. It's a good workout. You cannot be uncheered by it (to paraphrase Pooh).That digusting bonemeal fertiliser stuff - bag of that spread over the roses (which are beside their fence... where they sit). It smells like death. It is glorious. They hate it. My other neighbours are all older, keen gardeners and use stuff like that (and we compliment each other's roses). Bubble machine. The kids two doors down in the other direction are heartily delighted. Everyone loves bubbles apart from CFers! It is known. Who knows, they might end up being entranced by the bubbles and deciding I am in fact the best neighbour in the word.Hastily adding I'm NOT sunbathing nude (no one needs to see that) or doing anything... unsavoury.

Why oh why do my posts not format properly... I shake my windchimes at thee, post feature.

Religious preachers, baby music, overcooking cabbage for 2 hours in a pot, loud sex, laughing hysterically, a trampoline, running inside with hand over head every time you see them.
Putting free stuff on strange websites and having dozens of people coming and parking.
Calling all your friends for Zumba in the garden.
A Swiss bell every time you call children in
Buy the trashiest underwear and have them on your line 24/7

the most annoying animal you can legally own.( In my case, the donkey at a farm nearby drives me nuts. )

Offer your garden as rehearsal space for your nearest Morris dancing troupe.

Bonus points:
-It is a very white tradition so confounds their racist prejudices.
-Means there are lots of blokes in your garden on your side of any disagreement.
-They may bring an accordion.
-It is very very annoying even without the accordion.
-They could remain for drinks afterwards, keeping the bells on of course.
-And teach you the accordion!

Can't stand racist people!! What about a lovely cook out of the stinkiest traditional recipes you can think of.....just as they hang their washing out before going to work

Oooh yes! My actual heritage is pretty boring (it's a European country rather than anything far-flung) but no one ever guesses where I'm from (usually they think I'm Indian or Turkish). I do love to cook though...

If your DC are young enough give them a tidy up song or something. One that would get repetitive far to quickly.. like eye of the tiger or something.
Wind chimes definitely!
It's not nice having difficult neighbours. I hope the situation corrects itself soon and you all have a break. Best of luck and have fun!!

All seems like hard work to me. Send a solicitors letter. If they fail to respond it will go to court. If they ignore that they could end up banged up.

And depending on their preferred racism stance you could choose the language accordingly.

Extra celebrate the culture they are racist about.
Drill each day at the opposite time of their habits or each day at set time
Eg if they wake late , hoover the sideboards louldy bash v them. Make sure any d i y is within legal hours. Play the opposite type of rhings they do. Eg classical.
Get some invasive insect things. I think u can buy on the internet.
Look really happy.a d be ott friendly. Super happy.

At the same time record any anti social behevoir they do.

Play 80's rap music as loud as you can, at all hours. Think NWA, public enemy, Ice T, KRS-one, Eazy E, Ice Cube. Hell, even some early Eminem. That or thrash metal, but I'm petty like that. Or, musical theatre tunes...

Trampoline against the fence, with lots of lovely cheap balls inside. Hire a party bus, preferably a double decker and invites loads of children.

My neighbours slam their internal doors a lot and that's annoying!

Yes, expose your genitals to minors, great plan 👍

Sunbathing naked is perfectly legal.

But if your doing it with the intention of exposing yourself to kids. this sounds illegal and very noncey

I've just come across this looking at ways to piss and absolute cowbag off who lives a few doors down from me. I'm gonna order lots of free astroturf and carpet samples to her house every few weeks

What a weird thing to say. Your suggestion of a nude man around children is really bloody odd 😐