Legal ways to annoy a CF neighbour.

[rightonthyme]

WIBU to ask for (completely legal) ways you got back at your neighbours? A VERY long story short, ours are CFs of the highest degree (violent towards us, and racist, and police have done diddly squat). Have done all the CCTV/security stuff. I'm not moving as love the area and all the other neighbours but I would like to make their stay as uncomfortable as possible (in a fun way, of course).Am thinking ugly gnomes, windchimes, learning the violin...Please keep it lighthearted!

They have invaded the road and spent energy on trying to intimidate us. I won't stand for it.

Good for you, @rightonthyme !

Please make an art instillation of an old closet painted in rainbow colours with a colourful be-sequined drag manikin bursting out of it holding a placard saying "time to leave that closet" written on it & place it right in view of their camera

Yes - definitely the wooden ones.

They're horrendous.

I've recently found out that one of my neighbours, Snitty Iris (married to Angry Keith)* has been complaining to someone else that I "look out of my window". It's on the side of the house, upstairs, opposite her garden (which has a 8' fence around it) and I admit I do sometimes look out of it (mea culpa) and even shout out of it - I look and shout out of it when I'm calling for the cats. Maybe 1/2 times a month - they're oldish cats and don't go out so much now.

The temptation to get another kitten, and call it Keith** so that she and her husband look round every time I shout for it, has been almost over whelming!

*I only use these names in my head

**I wouldn't because this seems like cruelty to kittens - apologies to all of the lovely Keiths out there - I'm sure there must be some

Do you have small children? I'd encourage them to learn a new instrument each term. Or at least try a new one when they start to get good at the first one.

Our local bus station plays classical music to deter the schoolkids from congregating for longer than they need to.

Windchimes are good too, but also something reflective that shines in to their house every so often - a nice spinning shiny metal object that will flash! Our neighbour's security lights really piss me off when they turn on and shine in to our house.

Otherwise, just be REALLY nice to them every time you see them! "Cooey! Hi!" or big grin and wave... being nice really throws the arseholes!

Is there a way of signing up for junk mail?? With an inventive first name and surname...?

My neighbours children play basketball until past 9, the constant banging of the ball on the patio drives me to distraction, despite the windows and doors being closed! A nightly game of basketball would work a treat.

Find a rude gnome online somewhere, there may be some dodgy looking gnomes bearing their behinds and no I have not got a clue as to where you could get them but if you fill your garden with a few of these colourful characters, the results could be quite amusing.

My nieghbours are also in need of some gnome treatment but unfortunatly I am in a flat with no garden.😁

Life-size cardboard cut out of Ainsley Harriot looking out of your upstairs window.

walk past them and ignore them - it drives them made and always refer to them when you talk about them (in case they over hear) as madam and sir
Politeness drives these kind of people insane
or blow them kisses when they swear at you and walkaway laughing to whoever is with you
and my favourite - bucket with lid - fill with water put weeds in and let them ferment , when they come out in the garden you go in and take lid off bucket next to where they are sitting
The smell is unbelievably bad
and do performance parenting with dc teaching them nursery rhymes (record this so if they swear dc won't hear it
Not really for a few of these but enjoy the thought and planning

I would recommend later Miles Davis or John Coltrane. Their early stuff is too melodious.

Sorry that was in response to the modern jazz section.

Do they have a dog? Next time it rains, throw OXO (or similar) cubes into their garden, the dog will go mad and dig up the garden looking for the good stuff :D (Light-hearted)

You could always find very informative podcasts on racism and bigotry and play them equally loud so they can learn something. In fact, make a playlist. If they complain, say you're writing a paper on the subject.

I think the naked suggestion was a bit much. Most bodies in budgie snugglers or a bikini would suffice.

Also, it is important to keep a log of the date, time, and details of all rascist incidents.

My neighbours are also racist. I've never met such vile selfish interfering busybodies. All my other neighbours are amazing and very friendly. Personally, I just blank them as if they don't exist. And I reported the incidents.

Apart from not making the children play their games quietly, I just believe karma will take care of them. I don't wish bad on others, no matter how awful they are. Otherwise, karma will come for you too. It's just not worth it.

Sorry - didnt read before I typed :)

Good idea!

Sadly the risk is to the dog. If they are violent, they could quite easily beat the dog for digging the garden up. Not a good idea.

Throw flower seeds over the fence

@rightonthyme
Ideas
... let your garden on their side completely overgrow so it looks ugly and means they have to chop leaves
.... get a yapping dog and take it out whenever they go out
.... you mention racism. Whatever race you are ( lets say indian) you play loud music in Hindi or tamil and you do it when you know they're home ;) or very loud phonecalls in q stereotypical accent 😉

Dandelions are very pretty.

Throw a party with the theme being your culture. Play music from your country loudly. Cook loads of foiod. Invite as many friends from your background as possible along with the nice neighbours. Hold it on a sunny day in the day time so no one can say it's a noise nuisance

My daughters primary school had them learning the recorder to persecute us poor parents at home, while they practiced.

It drove the rest of us in the house to nearly want to self harm.

Such a bloody racket🙄.

If you could get that type of a learning a shit instrument racket recording, to play on a loop in your porch, you could be on to a winner.

Violin is also horrific, scratchy and squeaky.

What about the poster who nailed sausages into a neighbours lawn and the local dogs dug up their lawn.

Potato up the exhaust is supposed to be a sure fire winner.😁

Good point. Ask on Freecycle for some of those stand-up basketball hoops & spare balls, and invite neighbor kids around each evening to practice...

Throw dog turds in their garden.

Maybe human if you don't have a dog 💩

Haha! There used to be loads of junk mail with the facility to sign up for God knows what. I and my freind had a war, as to who could think up the stupidest name or annoying deliveries/demos. Examples: Toupee demos, a ride-on scrubber, ready mix concrete, chiro beds. Yeah, childish I know. My freind went ott & started inundating his boyfriend with post/demos & he actually bought some stuff. He was subject to a post office investigation eventually.
Btw op, a saxophone is really noisy.

I would be complaining to the local Police and Crime Commissioner.

On the matter of light hearted matters, if you travel early in the day on a day when they are all asleep, an invisible dog comes near to your car when it passes their house and you have to sound your horn as you don't want to hit said dog.