Legal ways to annoy a CF neighbour.

[rightonthyme]

WIBU to ask for (completely legal) ways you got back at your neighbours? A VERY long story short, ours are CFs of the highest degree (violent towards us, and racist, and police have done diddly squat). Have done all the CCTV/security stuff. I'm not moving as love the area and all the other neighbours but I would like to make their stay as uncomfortable as possible (in a fun way, of course).Am thinking ugly gnomes, windchimes, learning the violin...Please keep it lighthearted!

A friend had neighbours like this. The only
and I mean only thing that worked, was when she and her entire family and friends ignored them. By that I mean acted as if the cf were invisible. No reaction to them whatsoever, no retaliation, blank them in the street etc etc.
It took a surprisingly short amount of time before the cf realised there was no ‘sport’ to be had in harassing them. They had tried going to the police, council and social services.

I think some people missed the 'light hearted' part in your post OP.
Start to learn the cello. One of our neighbours used to learn it - awful noise.

Are you the first one out with bins? As in everyone else copies you?

Agree with neighbours to start doing random things with bins, wait till they copy you and then after dark take your bins in.

Have a child that's learning to play the bagpipes.

Haha I know! Oh that's a good one... I definitely have a flute and an old recorder so I might start there and progress... ;)

Definitely wind chimes. They're infuriating.

My ex-neighbour took exception at me, I'm still not sure why. One of the other neighbours suggested it was my car, which he considered elitist - a small second hand Volvo hatch.

I had a fairly affluent friend who owned a horse. On fine days she would ride the seven miles to my house, tether it in my front garden with a hay net, and come in for a coffee. It used to reduce him to apoplexy. 😂

I didn't have to do anything. Some people are really odd!

Put fake creepy crawlies in the sight line of the camera that looks in your window.

Invite an opera singing relative to come and stay with you and to practice often.

I really, really wouldn’t

Sadly I'm not - the chap across the road is the chief binfluencer. I might bend his ear :)

The elitist car has made me laugh! Nowt so queer as folk haha

Put a very large mirror on your wall facing them.
Evensong. Lots of it. www.choralevensong.org/uk/websites.php
Or some modern jazz? Warn the neighbours and go out yourselves, in my opinion.

Go to an exotic pet shop. Buy a box of cockroaches, some locusts and some crickets. Make sure they are the noisy crickets. Get a large padded brown envelope and a plastic box that fits inside snuggly. Put the insects in the fridge for an hour. Then put them into the plastic box and put the lid on upside down. Slide it into the bag and seal. Name. Address and post it. When they open it the lid will fall off and is a perfectly natural reaction to drop the box, the insects will go everywhere.

Get a hot tub
get wind chimes

two of the most hated things on mumsnet

( I have both😂)

Do you have a house alarm? Accidentally set it off as you're going out for the day.

Leave your hose running near their side of the fence so they get a little soggy.

Grow a noxious weed on your boundary and encourage it under the fence.

Similarly send all slugs and snails their way.

Lots of noisy parties, late night conversations in the garden.

Smelly food wafting over.

When the wind is blowing in the right direction you could have a bonfire with smoky green wood.

Black lives matter poster in the window?
Fish guts in their bins?
Pride flag flying from the roof?
Plant horseradish/rhubarb/Rosemary/other spreading and out of control plant in their front garden?

Get a pogo stick, it's a very annoying noise pretty quickly.

Learn, very slowly, one song on the recorder.

My neighbours have both of these and I can testify about how annoying they can be.

Sign up their address to loads of religious crap online e.g. have you found Jesus? More information here...

Buy a hot tub, and a trampoline. Spend as much time as possible using one or other, extra points for over excited children on said trampoline.

Invite everyone you know round for a party ( in the hot tub) and take up every parking space on the street. Do this at a minimum weekly, preferably more often.

Become a drum teacher and use the nearest room to them as your classroom.

Mow the lawn at 8am.

Buy some extra smelly fertiliser and spray your garden liberally at regular intervals.

Have a garden fire every time they put washing out.

Totally agree with this. There's a word for it, isn't there? What is it, my brain isn't working.... But absolutely no reaction to them at all. It'll drive them mad, and there wull be no point to their stupid activities, so they'll grow bored eventually. Remember everyone else probably hates them too.

But do log every single incident privately, meanwhile, however minor. Time, date etc. For future possible use. It's crap, I'm sorry.

And as I realise this was supposed to be lighthearted, I'll add something to play along.... Collect all the dandelion fluff you can, put it all in a big box, and post anonymously from another town.

Ugh, ignore the quote there, and definitely do not encourage baked men to sunbathe near children. WTF

Why annoy them further though? It sounds like they have the ability to be even more annoying than average!

I love windchimes

rightonthyme Give every visiting child a pair of shoes that squeak with each step and some sugar.

Make friends with bagpipe players. Get them around for a jamming session. Ideally when any nice neighbours are out...