Legal ways to annoy a CF neighbour.

[rightonthyme]

WIBU to ask for (completely legal) ways you got back at your neighbours? A VERY long story short, ours are CFs of the highest degree (violent towards us, and racist, and police have done diddly squat). Have done all the CCTV/security stuff. I'm not moving as love the area and all the other neighbours but I would like to make their stay as uncomfortable as possible (in a fun way, of course).Am thinking ugly gnomes, windchimes, learning the violin...Please keep it lighthearted!

"set up a camera to spy into our lounge (and the police can do nothing as there's no evidence they're using the footage illegally)"

OP have you raised this with your local council?

We used to live near someone who had a great big CCTV camera on their outside and were told by the council to take it down (after complaints from neighbours) as they're not allowed to film anything but their own property.

If it's pointing onto your property surely that isn't ok?

To add, I wasn't one of the neighbours that complained 😁

Loud pet chickens. Worth an investment.

Do you know their phone number?

This idea has always struck me as pure gold and I really regret not having any excuse to use it. Yet. *cackles, wickedly.

Collect up random old keys. Attach plastic tags to them with the message:
'£20.00 reward for return of key, call [their phone number] any time'.

Distribute keys + tags widely.

I think just living a happy life with your family will wind them up more. Miserable people just seem to want to spread their misery.
Failing that invest in a small fire pit for the garden. It's magical watching the flames dance whilst the smoke penetrates their washing....

Buy them a subscription to the Gay Times, Guardian and The Voice.

@rightonthyme Would some of your other ( normal) neighbours support you in this? I’m thinking a whole cul de sac of wind chimes? Street party??

It must be so infuriating and stressful for you. Be mindful that you don’t P!ss off the rest of the street. Get them onboard with your campaign.

How likely are the clampits to move? Is it rented or bought?

Jet wash a cock and balls onto your patio/decking where they can see it.
But a large sheet and paint "you're cunts" on it and hang it on the washing line facing their way.

You sound as antagonising as they are!

Invite a group of drag queens to hold a story time in your garden. That seems to piss everyone else off.

Chutney making is an enjoyable pursuit, green tomato in particular has a very penetrating smell that carries a long way. It's delicious so would make a nice present for nicer neighbours.

There was a case many years ago of a family who worshiped the moon and used to dance naked in their garden every full moon all night. I can't remember what the resolution was but the NDNs were in despair.

My NDN currently has 3 windchimes in her garden. She conducts therapy sessions from one of the bedrooms and before each customer 'cleanses' the room by banging a gong for a few minutes. Doesn't worry me in the slightest, quite like it and went and got my own windchime on the strength of it. Realise I am in a minority however

I like the key idea and have noted that for future use if needed

Get really into lawn and plant care. There are some bad smelling fertilisers out there. Fish emulsion, anything involving chicken poop etc.

Play that annoying old ballad "I've never been to me" by Charlene on an endless loop. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I%27ve_Never_Been_to_Me

Also McArthur Park, the macarena, polka music, etc.

They sound awful. What you need is a group of big, strong, loud, intimidating blokes to hang out with you outdoors for several evenings/weekends running. Know any biker groups?

What have they done to you?
Are they next door neighbours or down the road etc?
If they are racists get more non white people to move onto the street - that's what my Dad did to teach a few racist people a lesson.
Every house that went up he made sure the community knew about it.
This was the 90's so the only marketing was local newspaper or word of mouth or estate agent windows.
1 house - announced at 10 places of worship - each having a few thousand worshippers - that's a lot of people from an ethnic minority to buy a house to annoy racists.
The upshot for the area was the school finally had good grades at GCSE and people actually stayed on at the sixth form. Did that run down area a favour.

Yesterday the village recorder group practised in the garden next to my house.
If you have children, buy them recorders.

If they are mumsnetters, get random people to knock on their door.

Mumsnetters just hate people turning up unannounced. Gets them riled up with indignation at the temerity of it.

Bonus points if the neighbours make a thread asking who could have knocked at their door, and what could they have wanted....

Don't bother being selective. Why not become party leader and hence Prime Minister and annoy everybody? 😂

See if you can buy a load of smelly animal dung from your local zoo and spread it at the boundary between your gardens.

Start learning the violin

Get a huge spotlight fitted and shine it into their house/garden

Report them to the Inland Revenue for tax evasion

If you know their telephone number make a profile for them on as many dodgy websites as possible.

TBH though as they are such filthy racist scum I would probably be contemplating finding a contract killer or someone with special skills who could make them disappear one night, but then I'm evil 👿.

Fucking hell that's got paedo vibes.
no nudity in front of children!

Just give all the packaging a wipe and wash the fruit.

Offer the local beginners recorder group rehearsal space in your house on eves when you are out.

Play a range of classical music in the garden on fine days. (We noted that some French towns use this to keep underground car-parks free of 'cool' disaffected youths. The intention seems to be to educate their taste and get a better class of graffiti ...or to distract and repel them completely. )

Play one favourite tune over and over and over again.

Take up a properly vigorous instrument (like the French horn)

Hold colourful themed parties for all the other neighbours.

Host language classes... for beginners.

Cat-scarers that will be set off whenever they pass work very well if their ears are young.

Cook very strong-smelling ethnic foods on Sundays.

Make use of their camera:

• put a large collection box in your lounge window (one for a charity supporting immigrants preferably)

-Have a poster board - for suitable political and charitable causes placed on your property where they can see it. Change this regularly.

The best way to get to these types of people is to pretend they don't exist. Don't give them a reaction that's what they want.

They obviously have had much attention growing up. Poor little darlings.

Oops wrong thread

Play Amazing Grace on the bagpipes.

And/or invite a load of people round for a charity 24 hour Macarena dance-a-thon

Mint seeds.