Partner said he wishes I were more curious about the world

[Bzzzzzzz]

I am educated to Master's level, have lived in a couple of different countries and speak other Languages so I did think I was curious to some level at least. I read the news daily.
My partner doesn't have the qualifications and has mostly worked in 'menial' roles but he certainly reads a lot, has a lot of general knowledge and knows a lot about music.
I'd say I read more non fiction, I do occasionally read fiction but sometimes feel a bit embarrassed that I should have read a lot of the famous novels that I haven't.

Anyway I can occasionally be ditzy.
I was chatting to him yesterday and I said something about the topic of indigenous people. Looking back it was clumsily worded really, but I know what I meant.
He reacted as if I'd asked him to spell my own name. He said, "Omg seriously!!" "Like come on!!" "How on earth can you not know that!!" "What the hell!"
He was clearly annoyed, and I told him that I didn't think it had warranted such an angry reaction, I hadn't said anything controversial or offensive.
Later on we got into a discussion about it and I asked him if he'd have reacted like that if someone else had said it, i.e. a colleague or family member. I couldn't imagine him doing so. He said, "No, as I don't think they'd say something like that." He then calmly explained the mistake I'd made about indigenous people and I told him that's all that had been required.

His elderly aunt said she couldn't picture where NYC was on a map and he didn't say anything to her, but told me later on that he was frustrated at her 'lack of knowledge and curiosity."

Anyway during our discussion he did apologise for overreacting and then told me that I'm great but he "wishes I had more curiosity about the world."

I told him that I understood but I suppose now I'm second guessing. I like to travel, I watch a lot of travel documentaries, I'm interested in current affairs and happy to try new things. It's not the same as saying " You're great but I wish you did the dishes more." For instance.
Just interested to see what others think. I don't want someone to feel intellectually superior to me, though I'm probably just being too sensitive. Not sure what to do.

On what basis do you 'highly doubt it was racist'?

The only thing we know is that she used the expression 'indigenous people' and 'british history' in the same sentence.

And he didn't scream at her. He was annoyed. I'd be annoyed at a racist comment too, if that's what it was.

I wonder which sea you maligned when he reacted the same way, op? Sea bigot.

He seriously said, 'I thought you could do better than that'??! What a patronising, insecure little man. You're not the one with the problem here.

Well, we don't know, because she hasn't told us, has she?

I asked him to explain but he said he didn't have the words. Just seems a big jump from that to that.

So he's allowed to jump down your throat for not phrasing whatever you said well - but he can't phrase it any better himself?

This has got NOTHING to do with your curiosity about the world, & EVERYTHING to do with him negging & undermining you. He is insecure about your degree, your travel, your job, your non-fiction reading habits, so berating you for mistakes gives him a chance to feel superior.

He isn't superior. He's a dick. Look at his aunt's NYC example. Plenty of people have difficulty pinpointing locations on maps, because minds work differently & some minds simply find it harder to retain that kind of spatial knowledge. If only your partner had more curiosity about the world, he might have understood that for himself, instead of making it a point to sneer about.

I have an ex like this OP.
Ostensibly happy with my (3 x better paid & much harder worked for) career, certainly happy to live off the benefits of that career - but any chance to neg any little mistake or downplay any accomplishment I made ... it's nasty.
There's not a lot of point talking to him about it, as he will deny he's doing it. I suspect there's some misogyny going on - keep the little woman in her place, deferring to him. Now you've seen it - you won't 'unsee' it. Your relationship is probably doomed, because why would you want to be with a man who lives to put you down? You're already worrying he's your intellectual superior FFS. (Or thinks he is!) That's how much of a number your unpleasant man has done on you ...

My ex was exactly like this. He used to spend all
his time watching videos, looking things up and then come over and bleat on about them. Fair enough if that's how he wants to live his life. He was very disappointed that I didn't share the sane interest, that I didn't want to spend the night discussing something going on in the US. To discuss banking regimes and how money is invented, to discuss Elon Musk or how the covid jab is dangerous. I had no interest in any of the above and he used to say I was small minded. He asked me once if I ever switched on which considering I have my own place, a good job, a busy life and financial independence whilst he still lived with mummy and daddy at the age of 46 was laughable.

I dumped him in the end as I didn't like the way I felt he was making me feel inferior and ditzy. And I'm grateful I never have to be sent links to the daily wire ever again.

He will not improve OP, I'd get out whilst you can!

Your DH sounds as if he thinks he's inferior to you , also insecure and that would probably be the reason he picks you up when he thinks you're wrong.

You say that he failed his Uni degree and that he does 'menial' jobs . That's such a derogatory remark. Do you often tell him this ?

He sounds like a patronising condescending professor, sneering at you and doing the "you must try harder". You shouldn't have to swot up on stuff just so he doesn't give you a black mark in your exam paper.

it's called Negging, putting you down and making you feel small.

don't let him grind you down or lower your self-esteem.

My DH and I have general conversations about loads of stuff going on in the world, geography, history, general chat, and if either of us doesn't know something that the other does, it just opens up the conversation and we look things up online. It doesn't turn into some arbitrary competition, we just build each other's knowledge and don't give each other a hard time. What's the point.

Exactly, @Sexdoesmatter

I think OP has been undermined by this twat for so long she's begun to downplay how insidiously nasty this man's words & attitude are. What a cock he is.

I really wish my partner had more curiosity about the world. It’s not an academic thing, just that it’s different to how I am. I enjoy listening and watching and soaking up new knowledge, no matter how trite or big, and he doesn’t.

I don’t mention it to him, nor shout at him about it, but it does make me a bit sad sometimes. We are just different

I agree that he either has a chip in his shoulder, and/or is very insecure.
Or he is one of those people who knows so little that he doesn’t recognise or appreciate knowledge other people have. ( Which is ignorance)

OP
Next time he does something like that, I would look him in the eye and tell him that when he does that, it comes across that he is trying to knock you down, and that he must stop now.

Dh and I are both well educated, intelligent, with a wide range of interests.... we both regularly know things the other one doesn't which isngreat - he can tell me stuff and I can tell him stuff as needed. I am not clear why you have to know everything?!

Well, it depends what she actually said, doesn't it. There are certainly comments that would justify that reply.

But she's refused to tell us.

I'm wondering if you earn more than him OP.

You described his work as menial OP. Maybe he has a point, even if he didn’t make it in the nicest way.

Being intellectually curious and being well educated are completely separate.

He is being ridiculous, lots of people regardless of qualifications, have gaps in their knowledge, I have a problem some how with geography, and would find it difficult to place some cities on a map of the world, like his grandmother, it is a strange void, in my otherwise good general knowledge. I have noticed similar gaps in other people's knowledge, in things I thought everyone knew. I think your partners gap is in the psychology of learning, and he should take it on board that not every one knows everything that he knows, and that other people will probably be interested in, and know more than he does about some things. He is also an impatient dickhead.

It was the Portuguese

Angola was a Portuguese colony until 1975, I.e. within our lifetimes for many of us

For all we know what the OP said was closer to not knowing Angola was ever colonised at all, I think that would show a lack of curiosity about the world

Quite. 'Menial' is horrible and demeaning. Is housework or looking after kids 'menial'?

@Bzzzzzzz He is trying to pull you down, over time it will work. You are already questioning whether this is reasonable and you and he both admit he wouldn't react in the same way to anyone else.

He feels lesser for whatever reason, that's not your fault and not your issue to solve. The person who loves you most isn't supposed to make you feel like you are stupid or not curious *insert roll eye emoji.

You clearly have an intelligent mind and a zest for life. Don't let him play this nasty game with you.

Is he implying you are small minded?
I don’t think you sound like that at all.
I think it’s his insecurity shining through - not your lack of curiosity about the world

I’d find this sort of correction and attempted intellectual oneupmanship really draining and irritating. He may have a good general knowledge, some people do, but this sort of behaviour stems from insecurity. I’d suggest asking him directly not to do it. It’ll affect your self esteem otherwise. If he doesn’t like the request, he can find someone with a level of curiosity that suits him better.

If you were a size 6 and he told you that you were fat, then you would not think, “Oh I must lose weight.” This situation is the same.

I wonder if he actually likes you very much. You could consider chucking him - unless of course you are prepared to tolerate this type of undermining behaviour forever.

Him failing his degree - that’s because he didn’t work hard enough. Don’t make excuses for him. My BIL failed his degree. Liked shagging and partying every day and didn’t attend lectures.

I think he’s being rude. The example about you naming the sea wrong was mean of him. I could understand his POV if you were constantly getting things wrong and almost taking pride in it but that isn’t the case.

You don’t make comments about his degree failure - just think about why you tolerate comments about your supposed “failings”. You wouldn’t say it to him.