Partner said he wishes I were more curious about the world

[Bzzzzzzz]

I am educated to Master's level, have lived in a couple of different countries and speak other Languages so I did think I was curious to some level at least. I read the news daily.
My partner doesn't have the qualifications and has mostly worked in 'menial' roles but he certainly reads a lot, has a lot of general knowledge and knows a lot about music.
I'd say I read more non fiction, I do occasionally read fiction but sometimes feel a bit embarrassed that I should have read a lot of the famous novels that I haven't.

Anyway I can occasionally be ditzy.
I was chatting to him yesterday and I said something about the topic of indigenous people. Looking back it was clumsily worded really, but I know what I meant.
He reacted as if I'd asked him to spell my own name. He said, "Omg seriously!!" "Like come on!!" "How on earth can you not know that!!" "What the hell!"
He was clearly annoyed, and I told him that I didn't think it had warranted such an angry reaction, I hadn't said anything controversial or offensive.
Later on we got into a discussion about it and I asked him if he'd have reacted like that if someone else had said it, i.e. a colleague or family member. I couldn't imagine him doing so. He said, "No, as I don't think they'd say something like that." He then calmly explained the mistake I'd made about indigenous people and I told him that's all that had been required.

His elderly aunt said she couldn't picture where NYC was on a map and he didn't say anything to her, but told me later on that he was frustrated at her 'lack of knowledge and curiosity."

Anyway during our discussion he did apologise for overreacting and then told me that I'm great but he "wishes I had more curiosity about the world."

I told him that I understood but I suppose now I'm second guessing. I like to travel, I watch a lot of travel documentaries, I'm interested in current affairs and happy to try new things. It's not the same as saying " You're great but I wish you did the dishes more." For instance.
Just interested to see what others think. I don't want someone to feel intellectually superior to me, though I'm probably just being too sensitive. Not sure what to do.

@ToxicCuntMum noun loss is real!! Listened to a podcast yesterday and if mentioned it

Gee, he'd be doing a lot of head shaking and tsk tsk-ing at me then. Geography is a major blind spot for me. Putting my hand up to admit the only reason I know where some places are would be because I'd have watched Jezza and the boys going there on Top Gear 😆

I'd be massively insulted if someone described me like that OP (I'm no amazing intellect but I am certainly engaged in the world beyond my nose). Its about the most insulting thing someone could say to me tbh. I'd hate to feel so judged. It's the sort of thing my EX boyfriend did a lot.

OP my DH and I are sort of the same in that I am more highly qualified but he has a much stronger general knowledge than me. I often say silly things as my brain has a lot whirling around it. So yesterday, I said it’s going into the ocean and he went the sea. And I just said ‘Oh you know what I meant’ it was actually the sea but sometimes things don’t always come out exactly how we mean them too. And that was the end of it. We do poke fun at each-other over very silly things but it is never in a mean way. And if I felt upset I would tell him. But we have been together many years so are very comfortable. And I stand my ground being comfortable in the knowledge I do and don’t have.
In your shoes I would say ‘You know what I meant’ in one of the other languages you know. That might shut him up. Just because you have different knowledge doesn’t mean it’s less worthy.

I'd say he feels insecure about his education in comparison to yours. Putting you down makes him (temporarily) feel better. I'd tell him it's unacceptable and if he doesn't stop consider if being with someone who makes you feel lesser is what you want.

Mmm. I do think this is an issue for him even if it's not for you. You offering to support him to do a degree was presumably just a comment in a conversation about his past, and an expression of your wish to help him do whatever he wants to do. To him it might have seemed that you were saying he would still need you as the more educated person to guide him.

I don't think his reaction is in proportion. And my first husband had a massive chip on his shoulder about me having a Cambridge degree - he was much more intelligent than me and we both knew it, but I'm not dumb either - and his chip was a royal pain in the arse frankly. Being free of it after we divorced was joyous.

What I'm saying is it might help to see that this is about his feelings, not your intelligence. I would back off a bit but be aware how he treats you; is this an occasional issue or a foundational crevasse?

You don't sound very compatible. I also find people who aren't curious about the world, or who have poor general knowledge, a bit annoying as I feel there are things intelligent people just pick up. It depends on the 'offense' though. Not knowing where the Caspian sea is, fine, not knowing the Mediterranean, sackable offence. He does sound patronising though and I'd look for someone you have more in common with.

If you hadn’t mentioned your education you’d be accused of drip feeding - can’t win on MN sometimes!!

OP I’ve got nothing to add apart from he’s an arse with low self esteem and he’s enjoying your “ditsy moment” as he feels unusually powerful.

I wish I had more friends like you! You sound like my cuppa tea. 🙌🏾

In my experience these people are always massively overestimating their own level of intelligence and knowledge. Either way, belittling someone for not knowing something is not nice behaviour. How is the rest of your relationship?

He sounds like a dick. What is the rest of your relationship like, honestly?

No it doesn’t. If she’d said something offensive, like using an outdated term to describe race for example, then he should have just said ‘come on, Bzzzz you know better than to say xxxxxx’. You don’t have a go at someone when they are your partner and not under these circumstances.

You sound nice. He doesn’t.

It would be helpful to know exactly what you said? Taken at face value, however, it sounds as if he has an inferiority complex and is trying to bring you down.

Truly intelligent, curious and open minded people would never make somebody feel "bad" for not knowing something, though if your comment was offensive then that's a different matter. I think context is important here.

And his emotional intelligence seems non-existent.

Sounds like intellectual negging. He’s insecure about his background vs your more wordly one and it’s a way to make himself feel better. He’s felt the need to put you in your place. If it’s a one off I would have a chat about it, if it’s all the time then I would leave.

There are things I don’t know and there are things DH doesn’t know and when we share stuff the other goes “oh that’s interesting, I didn’t know that”. It’s not a competition, no-one is grading your knowledge.

Given that we don't know what was said, unless this kind of thing happens on a regular basis I really wouldn't read too much into it.
We're in a similar situation in that I have the bits of paper and my husband doesn't. Occasionally things will crop up that he knows that I don't and that's fine because he knows loads of stuff that I'm not interested in. We can't all know everything.
If he's constantly putting you down that's a different issue but if it's a one off then fair enough.

I don't think that anyone has knowingly made him feel inferior in any way and I certainly haven't.

Are you sure about that because you literally chose to describe his as working “menial” jobs. That comes across as a pretty bad way to speak about your partner imo. It’s not a positive word.
Maybe PP is right and he’s frustrated that you seem to lack a lot of general knowledge but have an air of being so much more educated an worldly than him.

@RightsHoardingRaptor the word podcast would be beyond me this morning

It sounds like he's negging you because you're more educated and have traveled more than him so he's trying to take any opportunity to put you down and make himself seem better than you. I mean what evidence is there that he's more worldly and curious than you are? I hope he's got some good points tbh cos he sounds like a bit of a prick.

He sounds tiresome and petty.
Find someone who is less hard work.

Are you the same OP as the other day, sounds familiar scenario. He has an issue with your achievements and wants to put you in your place. Not a nice thing to do to someone you supposedly love.

I agree with this. It wasn't very nice of him. I'm a geography teacher and I can tell you that most adults I know don't know where places are on a map or patterns of migration but they know plenty of other stuff.

Curiosity about everything is a sign of intelligence. I think he wishes you were more curious so he could share knowledge and discuss a wide variety of topics with you
Unfortunately for him, you can’t make someone interested in something that you’re interested in yourself. For example, when we were looking up a cruise I was interested in how much food was needed for x passengers and crew on the ship and even looked up the different foods and quantities used per day. My dh thought all that boring. 😁

I really hope you don't have DC with this man. It would be really damaging to behave/have that kind of attitude with a child.

There seems to be a competitive element in your relationship. You feel the need to compare your own education and career history favourably to his, he feels the need to show he is superior in other ways. Its not a great dynamic for two people who should percieve themselves as a team. Your respective education and experience are equally valid and you should each be valuing what the other brings to the table not focusing on percieved inadequacy. You need to make a concerted effort to stop or the mutual respect you should have will ebb away. Tell him this.