Partner said he wishes I were more curious about the world

[Bzzzzzzz]

I am educated to Master's level, have lived in a couple of different countries and speak other Languages so I did think I was curious to some level at least. I read the news daily.
My partner doesn't have the qualifications and has mostly worked in 'menial' roles but he certainly reads a lot, has a lot of general knowledge and knows a lot about music.
I'd say I read more non fiction, I do occasionally read fiction but sometimes feel a bit embarrassed that I should have read a lot of the famous novels that I haven't.

Anyway I can occasionally be ditzy.
I was chatting to him yesterday and I said something about the topic of indigenous people. Looking back it was clumsily worded really, but I know what I meant.
He reacted as if I'd asked him to spell my own name. He said, "Omg seriously!!" "Like come on!!" "How on earth can you not know that!!" "What the hell!"
He was clearly annoyed, and I told him that I didn't think it had warranted such an angry reaction, I hadn't said anything controversial or offensive.
Later on we got into a discussion about it and I asked him if he'd have reacted like that if someone else had said it, i.e. a colleague or family member. I couldn't imagine him doing so. He said, "No, as I don't think they'd say something like that." He then calmly explained the mistake I'd made about indigenous people and I told him that's all that had been required.

His elderly aunt said she couldn't picture where NYC was on a map and he didn't say anything to her, but told me later on that he was frustrated at her 'lack of knowledge and curiosity."

Anyway during our discussion he did apologise for overreacting and then told me that I'm great but he "wishes I had more curiosity about the world."

I told him that I understood but I suppose now I'm second guessing. I like to travel, I watch a lot of travel documentaries, I'm interested in current affairs and happy to try new things. It's not the same as saying " You're great but I wish you did the dishes more." For instance.
Just interested to see what others think. I don't want someone to feel intellectually superior to me, though I'm probably just being too sensitive. Not sure what to do.

There was a moment several weeks ago where I named one of the seas wrong. Sometimes your mind just goes blank, I went through a couple before I got to the right one. I'd see the funny side in things like that, but he told me that he thought I could 'do better than that." And again it was a bit like 'omg, seriously?' from him

I don't think he sounds very nice @Bzzzzzzz if I'm honest. Maybe instead of worrying what he thinks of you, it is time for a proper think about what you think of him.

God help you if you stay with him long enough to reach menopause. I don’t think there’s a single noun that hasn’t become a “thingy” since my brain fried.

It's obviously something that he has been mulling over, so might be worth exploring more, helping him to express what he means. Not feeling able to really communicate with your partner is a very long term relationship can drive couples apart.

I feel things very deeply and get worked up by current events, things on the news etc. My husband is much more sanguine, thinks I am over dramatic, even though he would never say this out loud. It frustrates me a little that he tends to shut down discussions that he feels are becoming too heated. I wish he cared more about the general state of the world.

So I can sort of understand where your husband is coming from, even if he may not have expressed himself terribly well.

I had a couple of partners who made similar comments to me in the past. I consider both of them to be abusive relationships now (for other reasons not mainly this one). How is the rest of your relationship with him?

In psychology, it is understood that we get angry when others do things we do not feel allowed/able to do. My pop psychology analysis would be he's unhappy you have that external verification of 'cleverness' (higher education) whilst he feels he has to overcompensate and prove himself.

I don’t know why people are focusing on the thing you said wrong. He sounds like a judgmental arse.

Because she's being told she's insufficiently interested in the world.

He sounds like he has a massive chip on his shoulder and needs to laugh at you, shout at you and demean you every time you get something 'wrong', so he can prove he is more clever than you.

He's jealous that you have got the piece of paper to prove it.

He's frustrated he failed and he is punishing you for it.

I couldn't put up with a lifetime of this and would seriously be considering my future.

Sounds like he has a chip on his shoulder about education and his job for whatever reason. I find that people who take other peoples simple lack of knowledge this personally are normally very insecure. He needs to make others look stupid to feel good about himself. Unpleasant trait tbh.

Why do you allow it? I'd be telling him in no uncertain terms that he's being rude and condescending by questioning my curiosity of the world and if he speaks that way to me again, we are done. You need your own boundary on how people speak to you and no one should make you feel insecure. Least of all your partner.

He’s clearly jealous/annoyed that in the eyes of the world you are more clever/better educated than him. So he puts you down to feel better about himself.
He sounds nasty and insecure to me.

Sounds to me like he feels threatened by you and takes any opportunity to put you down. Not great for a happy long term future .

Although he's also frustrated by the older family member yet presumably isn't jealous of her?

Rather than improving his own qualifications he’s trying to level the field by belittling yours.
This is definitely his self esteem problem and is in no way on you.

I’m reasonably intelligent, my knowledge of the natural world is shocking because I find the subject totally boring, hate zoos, don’t care what wild animals live where and would much prefer architecture and big cities.
If you knew everything OP then you would be god, if god exists!

He’s just trying to make u feel crap ,running you down to big himself up

This is all about general knowledge, not intelligence. You too don't know the same things, that's all. Some people don't care but it looks like he does. Time to end the relationship. It won't get better.

This is bizarre, how is naming the seas any sign or lack thereof of curiosity and intelligence.

it’s been 40 years since I did the oceanic plates etc at school, I have no reason to retain this information and I bet without googling most of mn would have to think about it a bit. Good for your DP if he knows this off pat but I also know there’s plenty he can’t do or doesn’t know. I also know of the two of you who I’d rather spend time with.

if you were genuinely trying to convince him unicorns are real he’d have a point, otherwise he’s just being an arse and I’d think twice about whether I’d want to be with such a patronising arse.

Because he's negging her.

She's far more educated than he is and he's undermining her and trying to make her feel stupid.

He sounds patronising. Sounds like you are on eggs shells trying to keep up in the 'curiosity' stakes. He sounds like he gets frustrated with people very often and has unrealistic expectations of people.

You are interested in what you are interested in. That may be broad or focused.

That sounds horrible and not a way to live. You could try to jolt him out of this behaviour by showing him how nuts he’s being eg talk to him in one of the foreign languages you know then belittle him for not understanding. Then Paddington hard stare that we all know different things and you expect this bs to stop right now.

I know what you should do. Dump him

It bothers him that he failed his degree, it sounds like it is eating away at him quietly and coming out in different ways.
The fact that he feels he can take it out on you, putting you down to make himself feel better is a massive red flag. He is embarrassing and humiliating you to feel better about himself.
Its very disrespectful, and I wouldn’t stand for it.
I would warn him any more put downs and the relationship is over, and mean it.
In time he will totally ruin your self confidence and self esteem.

I think a lot of this hinges on what you said and the fact you can’t bring yourself to tell anyone says it likely is bad.

Really?! How do you cope? Must be so so awful. I don't know the world seas and have no desire to. I do have in depth knowledge in other subjects.

He sounds like one of the eggs heads

Is there never anything that you know more about than him? That he isn’t curious about? HE doesn’t seem, for instance, to have been curious about what you were trying to communicate when you made your English history mistake - only about the words that were said.

Maybe, if he really does know just about everything that ever comes up in conversation, he really does just find it difficult to spend a lot of time amoung people who don’t. But I know a few truly genius level people and they manage really well with those of us who aren’t quite up to their speed. They turn that intellect and curiosity onto making our conversations work and can cope with the fact we aren’t all perfect (Although in one case they’re exactly like a cartoon Mad Professor - can’t find their socks but stop in the middle of breakfast to write down some idea that ends up the basis of a cure for cancer and 6 hours later wonder why their eggs are cold. Definitely a lot of curiosity but it’s laser focused.).

I suspect that this is more about his own insecurity over dropping out of uni. He needs to think of himself as intelligent and he proves his intelligence to himself by noticing when other people don’t know something that he does. He probably particularly likes doing it with you because you are “officially” clever. The thing about this is that there isn’t really anything you can do about it. It’s him that has to change. Until he comes to terms with the fact he’s a worthy individual whether or not he’s clever/academic/qualified and so is everyone else, he is going to keep finding issues.

You could try talking to him about having a bit more introspection and curiosity about people and what they’re trying to communicate instead of jumping on the things he knows and they do not. And also, perhaps about him having a bit more curiosity about how the mind works and the issues with processing information and recalling (since that seems to be something he’s mistaken for a lack of curiosity on your part).