Bit of Filler... husband furious!

[Bonnie7]

Aibu?

Went for my 6 monthly Botox treat today and decided to have a tiny bit of filler in my lips.
They are currently swollen and look bigger than they will in a few days - but by no means a trout pout!
Well my husband and eldest child have gone absolutely mad at me. They can barely look at me!
They are furious!
I can't believe my appearance causes them so much anguish when they barely look at me in normal circs!
Said I look like I'm off TOWIE trying to be 20 and ridiculous...
Husband is really really cross. I feel like I'm 15 again!
I by the way, love it!
Just turned 50 and have 4 kids...

I just felt like looking after me and trying something new.
Aibu - it's up to me? My face, my choice?!?

This. ^ I think it's really sad that girls and women think that THIS is a look to aspire to. Going from the pic on the left to the pic on the right, and thinking it looks good. Look how beautiful Janice Dickinson was... Before she filled her face with botox and fillers and various 'procedures.'

@FlissyPaps Do tell us what is in them?

I honestly have no idea. Saying that, if you've told me the ingredient was tea I would still feel very weird about having that injected into my lips.

Why can't we all look different as we are, naturally? What is that obsession to only have fuller lips as the right aesthetic choice (you can't inject stuff to do the opposite, can you?!).

Aren't we much more than what we look like?

What is so wrong with wrinkles?

How much of this is about disliking yourself?

It is clearly addictive. Why are we normalising this?

People need self love and self confidence, which should not be linked to having sexier lips.

People can't tell, they say they can
I posted a pic of mine on here and was told they were over filled, sore, uneven, had a ridge. The lot

They're my natural lips, I've never had filler

I think you can always tell with lip fillers. All of the lip photos posted on this thread, the bit between the nose and the top lip looks weird. It looks puffed out and the angle of it looks wrong. Those examples posted do not look "natural". The last photo of the blonde woman with the really thin lips - if she suddenly appeared looking like the second picture, it really would be cartoonish to those who knew her. The difference is HUGE. She looks nice enough with her pumped up lips, they're not oversized for her face, I agree. But you can still tell they're fillers - she's still got the weird upper lip thing going on which looks all puffy and thickened, and just abnormal. But if I knew her before, then the dramatic difference would be startling in the extreme - her face changes significantly with the fillers.

But in fairness, although I'm not a fan of Botox etc either, I do agree that it's possible to have light touch Botox without it being obvious. I think lips always have tell-tale signs, naturally full lips just look different. Botox though - it's perfectly possible to have subtle Botox treatment and keep it a secret. I would say though, the more sessions you have and the older you get, the more unnatural it starts to look.

I know people with a filler in their faces. It's very subtle and nobody would know to look at them so stop with the weird pictures. You only notice the botched jobs. The OP's husband is a massive hypocrite though if he is encouraging her to get a breast lift. If my husband suggested such a thing to me, and he never would, I'd be booking him in for a scrotal lift to be done first if he's so worried about droopiness.

All of the lip photos posted on this thread, the bit between the nose and the top lip looks weird. It looks puffed out and the angle of it looks wrong.

Those examples posted do not look "natural"

But you can still tell they're fillers - she's still got the weird upper lip thing going on which looks all puffy and thickened, and just abnormal.

I don't notice this at all, and still can't notice it when going back to look. If I saw these people in the street, I wouldn't think they had fillers.

But @CloudCatz people on here are not talking about that tiny difference in the pic you posted at 00.07, they're talking about OTT fillers that look batshit.

OP said she only had 0.5ml done and people on here are talking about caricatures and cartoons as if she said she got 2ml, talking about she will have a trout pout etc. Clearly they must think OP must have huge lips now.

Do tell us what is in them?

Natural sugars
Hyaluronic acid
Poly L lactic acid
Hydroxylapetite
Lidocaine (anaesthetic in the treatment to ease pain)

These are natural acids and minerals found in the body, found in toothpaste.

Saying that, if you've told me the ingredient was tea I would still feel very weird about having that injected into my lips.

Well of course you would, because tea isn’t a natural acid that is already in the body ….

A lot of brands openly display their filers ingredients. Juvederm, Teoxane .. people can do their own research.

Why can't we all look different as we are, naturally? What is that obsession to only have fuller lips as the right aesthetic choice

People have the right to have whatever legal treatment they want. Do you have issue with people colouring their hair? Getting a tattoo? Not everyone thinks the same way you do.

you can't inject stuff to do the opposite, can you?!

You absolutely can. I have had it myself. Hyaluronidase injections. (Lip filler dissolver). It breaks down the filler restoring them to their natural shape and structure pre-filler.

Aren't we much more than what we look like?

Of course we are. But some people are unhappy with how they look.

What is so wrong with wrinkles?

Nothing. Some people don’t like them. Some people are self conscious about them and aging. This society is very ageist.

People need self love and self confidence, which should not be linked to having sexier lips.

What is it that you are personally doing to boost others self love and self confidence?

Also what do you mean by “sexier” lips? You are sounding like you are sexualising aesthetic treatments. Which is very weird.

"Look how beautiful Janice Dickinson was...before she filled her face with Botox" And aged 30 years of course. 😀Your choices about your appearance are your business, and no one elses.

People can't tell, they say they can
I posted a pic of mine on here and was told they were over filled, sore, uneven, had a ridge. The lot

They're my natural lips, I've never had filler

This. I've had people ask me if I've had fillers before, I haven't, I just have slightly larger lips than normal. I think if I posted my lips, some posters would say it's obvious I've had fillers and they look XYZ when I haven't had any.

Also what do you mean by “sexier” lips? You are sounding like you are sexualising aesthetic treatments. Which is very weird.

It doesn't. It sounds like they are saying fuller lips look sexier in their opinion.

That’s literally sexualising ….

Maybe just initial shock, as you say they are swollen and that will calm down.
It is your face and your choice but it can go wrong even small amounts and it's not something I'd ever have done but I don't think I'd do anything like this without telling him I was thinking about it (not asking permission just happen to mention)
I know you are older and may feel you needed it, but I get really sad when I see young women with it done, it looks so fake and totally unnatural (their choice, I know!)

These are natural acids and minerals found in the body, found in toothpaste.

Hydroxylapetite may well be a lovely substance also found in toothpaste. Most of us however don't inject our toothpaste into our faces, so there is that.

Poly- L -lactic acid (PLLA) is used to stimulate collagen synthesis in fibroblasts via foreign body reaction in the presence of macrophages.

Mmmm, natural!

Along with some synthetic HA, of non-disclosed origin: eg, Juvederm* which contains a specific formulation of non-animal sourced hyaluronic acid.

Not-animal based hyaluronic acid is produced through microbial fermentation.

Double yum! Rooster combs sounds preferable, somehow.

A dash of Lydocaine: Those with a history of severe allergic reactions or anaphylaxis, or an allergy to lidocaine or the proteins used in Juvederm, should avoid it.

*Just guessing, not in the UK, you've not provided your filler of choice's name...

Good lord, .5 ml of filler will be very subtle, after the initial swelling goes down it will just look like she is wearing a nice plumping lip gloss, except permanent.

It takes quite a bit of filler to define the vermillion border and outline the cupids bow (which gives that stiff looking trout pout). If the OP just had half a mil in the body of her lips it would look pretty natural.

All the experts in here who've never had filler and never would think they know an awful lot about the process, when really they know nothing at all.

There are degrees of filler, you'd be hard pressed to find a model or celebrity who hasn't had at least a subtle fill. It's just like a boob job, you can go natural or totally OTT.

It can look really disturbing but it is your body and hopefully be more subtle soon. He can express his dislike but he can’t get mad at you.

I used to feel like your DC every time my DM did something to her face. In fact, I still feel like that. I don't look at her until things are healed, and I'm in my forties. It is unsettling to see your mother with a weird face (in a primal way)

Having said that, I'm saving so I can have botox and fillers too. My DC will certainly be uncomfortable. That's the circle of life :)

I'd known ds1s gf about 8 months before she said she had a bit of lip filler . Couldn't tell.

It's like microblading, people always say they can tell when they can't

It's your face but to be honest I do find whole lip filler thing so freaky so many people I know really don't like it but if you do
....so what.

I would like lip filler but I'm too scared it will hurt

@Bonnie7 sounds like you’re very happy with the filler and will probably get it again. I’m sure DH and daughter will get used to it. This is a very helpful video by a plastic surgeon Dr Chan who discusses how you can avoid the over filled look or trout pout over time :

The interesting thing they discovered in their MRI research is that filler can last for years (up to 4 years) and migrate around the face, despite them being marketed to doctors as temporary and needing top ups every 6-12 months. This is how people get the trout pout or pillow face look even if they are only using small amounts at each appointment by an experienced doctor but are getting treatments over time. The solution seems to be: to not over fill, to make sure the placement is correct for you, and to use dissolvers occasionally when the filler has migrated to somewhere else in the face, before you fill again. The longer it stays in the “Wrong place” undisolved the harder it can be to get rid of it,

@sausage767 true to a point, but it’s the longer term impact on the face that’s interesting rather than the amount used at each session. Take a look at this for example, the idea of “temporary filler” is not quite straight forward .

As i mentioned in PP to OP this previously unknown effect is likely the reason very wealthy celebrities with good doctors who know how to do excellent filler placement can still end up with pillow face. Over even just a few years you may get filler accumulating in different parts of the face that don’t need filler. It would seem that even very experienced doctors may not be aware of this effect.

I wouldn't tell DP before I was getting any aesthetics treatment because he'd huff.

I told him afterwards last time but it took him 6 gos to work out what Id had done and even then he only got it because he'd run out of parts of the face.

It's hard to explain what I mean very well. The best I can do is to say that if you don't have fillers, the area between your top lip and your nose is flatter if that makes sense? When there are fillers, it's like this area of skin puffs up a bit or just doesn't lie quite as flat. Naturally big lips don't puff up or thicken in this skin area; the skin still lies flat.

The comments from @Tasmanium are interesting re migration. It does make me question whether there are tiny particles migrating which is causing the effect above the lip.

The lip photos on this thread, I wouldn't turn to look at them in the street because they don't look ridiculous. Of course not. But if I knew the woman personally, I would absolutely 100% notice the fillers because their face has changed. The lady with the very thin lips - the change she's undergone is HUGE. If you didn't know her I still think you'd be able to tell it's a filler, but of course you wouldn't know just how significantly different she looks.

I'm not even sure why I object so much to it all. I think maybe it's because there's an undercurrent that all women must look the same way to be attractive. If you don't have voluptuous lips, smooth skin, no grey hairs, flat stomachs - but a curvy butt - you can't possibly meet modern standards of attractiveness. It's like there's a whole army of clones out there. I don't like any of it, or what it represents. And that's before I even get into the whole safety/long-term aspects of it, which I still think are dubious.

I don't like what it represents and I think pretty much everyone who has them and insists that no one knows is deluding themselves. If you have them, like them and don't care who knows it, all power to you. But don't pretend that you look natural, because I bet you don't.

It's one of those divisive things isn't it? Those who love them and have them will defend them fiercely - and those who don't like them will dig their heels in and won't be persuaded 😅

Also OP him getting furious and refusing to have dinner with you is so fucking childish. He can express his opinion without anger. DP has had some (IMO) dreadful hair cuts in his time and while I don't lie and say I love them when I don't I'd never actually sulk about it. 0.5ml is no big deal at all. When the swelling goes down he'll forget all about it.

Does he have form for being an arse?