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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bit of Filler... husband furious!

677 replies

Bonnie7 · 02/08/2022 22:37

Aibu?

Went for my 6 monthly Botox treat today and decided to have a tiny bit of filler in my lips.
They are currently swollen and look bigger than they will in a few days - but by no means a trout pout!
Well my husband and eldest child have gone absolutely mad at me. They can barely look at me!
They are furious!
I can't believe my appearance causes them so much anguish when they barely look at me in normal circs!
Said I look like I'm off TOWIE trying to be 20 and ridiculous...
Husband is really really cross. I feel like I'm 15 again!
I by the way, love it!
Just turned 50 and have 4 kids...

I just felt like looking after me and trying something new.
Aibu - it's up to me? My face, my choice?!?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
SeriousAlligator · 03/08/2022 00:06

People seem to miss the point that the only ones that are obvious are the OTT ones. You're never going to notice some nicely done, subtle ones.

CG1991 · 03/08/2022 00:07

I was just about to post the same. Whilst I very much believe in ‘each to their own’, the references to facelifts and invasive surgery differ somewhat to 0.5ml of filler.

Bit of Filler... husband furious!
CloudCatz · 03/08/2022 00:07

The idea that a small 0.5ml change is a caricature is bizarre. I don't think if it was something like this that it looks awful or like a caricature. These just look like they could be her natural lips.

Bit of Filler... husband furious!
Thatboymum · 03/08/2022 00:08

Bonnie7 · 02/08/2022 23:58

Honestly I was just trying to assess if I had done something wrong!
Happy marriage for many years and been through many issues , had kids late etc
We have a really great life.
BUT
I wanted to ask if I was wrong to have an enhancement that I really wanted if my husband disagreed?
I love it.
He doesn't

And the answer to that is no op it’s your body and your choice , if you really wanted a new hair colour and your dh wasn’t keen should that mean you can’t try it out ? Absolutely not. I don’t like bald men but if my dp went and got a baldy out the blue would I make him feel shit ? Absolutely not because it’s his body his choice and all that matters is the individuals happiness

bloodyplanes · 03/08/2022 00:10

What exactly has it got to do with them? It's your body, tell the to fuck off and mind their own business.

Tillsforthrills · 03/08/2022 00:10

milkyaqua · 03/08/2022 00:04

Fucking hell! Leave me alone. It appears you need a dictionary to explain the meaning of every single word - and even then you twist it.

You're the one forcing words like "toxic" and "foreign bodies" into the mix.

Here is my original offending post:

You've had shit injected into your lips and if even your kids who are adult and exposed to this trend all around them think you look like a twit, then it is probably not the enhancement you imagine.

I stand by it.

Show quote history

But she wasn’t responding to that comment, she was responding to your statement that she should educate herself and you asserted that she was wrong to which she has asked you a direct question. I’m interested to know the answer too!

TeapotTitties · 03/08/2022 00:11

@CloudCatz perhaps some people's vision of what is natural is getting skewed. To me, those don't look like natural lips. In fact they look sore to me.

userxx · 03/08/2022 00:14

TeapotTitties · 03/08/2022 00:11

@CloudCatz perhaps some people's vision of what is natural is getting skewed. To me, those don't look like natural lips. In fact they look sore to me.

Really? How do they look sore ? They look like normal natural lips.

milkyaqua · 03/08/2022 00:14

Tillsforthrills · 03/08/2022 00:10

But she wasn’t responding to that comment, she was responding to your statement that she should educate herself and you asserted that she was wrong to which she has asked you a direct question. I’m interested to know the answer too!

Show quote history

For fuck's sake! She has harrangeed me since I made that comment, and twisted every word and phrase. I cannot answer her question, not actually being in the UK, and her question is irrelevant to what I actually wrote.

blisstwins · 03/08/2022 00:14

I bet if you had not mentioned it or said you ate something funny they would not have noticed. It will go down dramatically in a few days. Their reaction is so not fair.

FlissyPaps · 03/08/2022 00:15

milkyaqua · 03/08/2022 00:04

Fucking hell! Leave me alone. It appears you need a dictionary to explain the meaning of every single word - and even then you twist it.

You're the one forcing words like "toxic" and "foreign bodies" into the mix.

Here is my original offending post:

You've had shit injected into your lips and if even your kids who are adult and exposed to this trend all around them think you look like a twit, then it is probably not the enhancement you imagine.

I stand by it.

Show quote history

Why should I leave you alone when you continue to reply to me? It’s a forum😂

So you can’t name me a brand of filler that doesn’t contain “shit”? And by shit I’m assuming you’re meaning that in the colloquial sense of “harmful substances”.

I stand by my earlier message in that you are clearly not educated on the subject. You enjoy making people feel bad about their appearances due to the aesthetic treatments they choose.

milkyaqua · 03/08/2022 00:16

*harangued

milkyaqua · 03/08/2022 00:17

So you can’t name me a brand of filler that doesn’t contain “shit”? And by shit I’m assuming you’re meaning that in the colloquial sense of “harmful substances”.

The colloquial sense of stuff.

So sorry you are not able to read ingredient lists.

PyongyangKipperbang · 03/08/2022 00:19

For those saying you can always tell....you cant!!

I found out just after lockdown started that my sister had been having botox three times a year for several years. I noticed that she looked fresher and brighter but genuinely, she looked the same just....better, more relaxed....I cant really describe it. Even her husband didnt know (as he wouldnt have liked it, very insecure). She was wondering when she could get her next lot done due to lockdown. As it was she timed it with a weekend away she had won as a work bonus so when she came back everyone commented on how the break must have done her good

Ticksallboxes · 03/08/2022 00:19

Just...be careful. I've noticed in the past six months, a lot of young women who essentially look like lady-boys because they've had so much (very bad) work done. It's quite horrifying as they don't really look normal anymore.

PixellatedPixie · 03/08/2022 00:20

Tabitha005 · 02/08/2022 23:17

Aren't you supposed to have some sort of test before having anything like collagen or botox done? It seems a bit of a risk to just have it done on the spur of the moment, and I'd question the ethics of a aesthetician who didn't undertake any pre-testing.

Personally, I don't think you should have sought your husband's 'permission' beforehand, though. Your body, your choice. His thoughts on a tit job mark him out as a total hypocrite if he's more than willing to 'let' you undergo a major surgical procedure that'll undoubtedly bring some 'benefits' for him personally, but loses his shit at you getting your lips done.

Weirdly, hair dye is more dangerous than lip filler or Botox. Lip filler is made of a naturally occurring substance. Hair dye is not.

FlissyPaps · 03/08/2022 00:20

milkyaqua · 03/08/2022 00:17

So you can’t name me a brand of filler that doesn’t contain “shit”? And by shit I’m assuming you’re meaning that in the colloquial sense of “harmful substances”.

The colloquial sense of stuff.

So sorry you are not able to read ingredient lists.

I can read ingredient lists. I have read the ingredient lists of the dermal fillers available in my country. I haven’t seen anything harmful in there?

You are so sure lip fillers are “full of shit” so please educate me on what “shit” they contain???

VyeBrator · 03/08/2022 00:22

Really? How do they look sore ? They look like normal natural lips.

Clearly a matter of opinion but they don't look natural at all to me.

And for those who think you can only tell fake lips when they're badly done, you're kidding yourselves.

PixellatedPixie · 03/08/2022 00:22

How do all of you who hate lip fillers so much know who has had them and who hasn’t? Maybe you just notice the people with crap lip filler? I’ve never had fillers but I do know of celebrities who look way better with them - for example Kylie Jenner who went from being average school girl to quite stunning due to changing her lips.

PyongyangKipperbang · 03/08/2022 00:24

Also it goes the other way....the number of times I get asked if I have had my lips done and you can tell they dont believe me when I say no. I dont have a trout pout but they are naturally full (as are my sisters) and no one believes they are natural because so many women get fillers!

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 03/08/2022 00:24

FlissyPaps · 02/08/2022 23:51

So we should all not do something just because our partners/husbands won’t like the appearance of it or don’t approve of it? To me that’s really sad, and shallow.

The OP is talking about Botox and a small amount of lip filler administered by a registered doctor. Nothing shocking. No face transplants. A doctor would not allow a patient to walk out of their clinic with an overfilled “duck/trout” look.

Show quote history

@FlissyPaps

So we should all not do something just because our partners/husbands won’t like the appearance of it or don’t approve of it?

I never said that.

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 03/08/2022 00:25

PixellatedPixie · 03/08/2022 00:20

Weirdly, hair dye is more dangerous than lip filler or Botox. Lip filler is made of a naturally occurring substance. Hair dye is not.

Show quote history

Wow. Confused

FlissyPaps · 03/08/2022 00:27

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 03/08/2022 00:24

@FlissyPaps

So we should all not do something just because our partners/husbands won’t like the appearance of it or don’t approve of it?

I never said that.

Show quote history

Didn’t say you did. I’m just curious as to why you think certain posters have never been in a relationship because they choose to do what they want with their owns bodies.

Nothingfree · 03/08/2022 00:30

Your body your rules, you enjoy your treat 💐

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 03/08/2022 00:33

CloudCatz · 03/08/2022 00:07

The idea that a small 0.5ml change is a caricature is bizarre. I don't think if it was something like this that it looks awful or like a caricature. These just look like they could be her natural lips.

But @CloudCatz people on here are not talking about that tiny difference in the pic you posted at 00.07, they're talking about OTT fillers that look batshit.

The OP's must not look great or her family would not be showing such disdain.