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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bit of Filler... husband furious!

677 replies

Bonnie7 · 02/08/2022 22:37

Aibu?

Went for my 6 monthly Botox treat today and decided to have a tiny bit of filler in my lips.
They are currently swollen and look bigger than they will in a few days - but by no means a trout pout!
Well my husband and eldest child have gone absolutely mad at me. They can barely look at me!
They are furious!
I can't believe my appearance causes them so much anguish when they barely look at me in normal circs!
Said I look like I'm off TOWIE trying to be 20 and ridiculous...
Husband is really really cross. I feel like I'm 15 again!
I by the way, love it!
Just turned 50 and have 4 kids...

I just felt like looking after me and trying something new.
Aibu - it's up to me? My face, my choice?!?

OP posts:
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C8H10N4O2 · 04/08/2022 18:37

'm sorry, but playing with your face is just not on

You don't wear make up then? Or pluck/wax eyebrows? Or style /colour your hair around your face?

These are all other non permanent, sometimes expensive changes people make which don't seem to attract half the derision of lip fillers. I find that odd.

Algbu6 · 04/08/2022 18:38

MolliciousIntent · 02/08/2022 22:38

Tbh I'd be pretty freaked out if my partner suddenly turned up having had something like that done without mentioning it!

Agree. It sounds like they are horrified by the look. Tbh a lot of fillers looks dreadful and far too big. I rarely see a natural look to blend I with skin tone and features.

PuzzledObserver · 04/08/2022 18:39

Scepticalwotsits · 04/08/2022 18:15

your body your choice, however its also their choice how they choose to take that, you cannot demand they like it. Choice works both ways

100% agree.

I dislike fillers, Botox, tattoos, multiple piercings, straightened hair, waxing…. so I don’t do any of those things to myself.

I also don’t comment when others do, because it’s none of my business. I might privately think they looked better before, but that’s none of their business.

AussieMozzieMagnet · 04/08/2022 18:40

Allaboutthecheesecake · 04/08/2022 18:36

I agree with this comment ! Everyone saying they hate fillers , when they can be really subtle , not all fillers look fake.

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Says the person who has had filler :-)

InChocolateWeTrust · 04/08/2022 18:41

Of course it is your choice, but maybe they wish you were delighted to look fabulous at 50, rather than striving to look 20?

This..... but also maybe they just loved your face the way it was.

Imagine if your husband went and got a facial tattoo and just didnt look like himself anymore and you didnt find it attractive. Maybe that's how they feel.

You are entitled to do it. They are entitled to not find that look attractive, although they probably should keep their thoughts to themselves.

AussieMozzieMagnet · 04/08/2022 18:42

C8H10N4O2 · 04/08/2022 18:37

'm sorry, but playing with your face is just not on

You don't wear make up then? Or pluck/wax eyebrows? Or style /colour your hair around your face?

These are all other non permanent, sometimes expensive changes people make which don't seem to attract half the derision of lip fillers. I find that odd.

No way would I ever inject myself with a foreign substance in the name of supposed "beauty". Women who get these supposed procedures look utterly ridiculous. Wake up to yourselves!

Hobnob90 · 04/08/2022 18:43

Your body your choice! The swelling will have gone down in 7 days and they won’t even notice.

Burgoo · 04/08/2022 18:45

Your body, your choice. Though that doesn't mean people have to like it and have to tolerate looking at it! I say do what you want, but don't expect people to sit and pretend they like it. Its MUCH more respectful to tell you that you look a bit shit than pretend you look fine when you look horrific.

BTW you may look great, I don't mean YOU when I say you.

mamabear715 · 04/08/2022 18:46

Each to their own.. I do know someone who looks like yakky duck with fillers and doesn't seem to be able to speak properly.. but then I see plenty of women with awful huge false eyelashes too.. I thought they went out with the ark but it seems they're back..

rainbowshows · 04/08/2022 18:47

My dp was exactly the same when I came home from my first filler appointment swollen and bruised. Once it settled he was the first one to say how much better my lips look!

Emmasumm · 04/08/2022 18:49

minipie · 02/08/2022 22:42

Would you be happy if your kids get fillers once they are adults?

I’ve had a tiny bit in my cheeks after turning 40 and love it. Would be fine about my daughters having a bit of filler when they are older but only around my age 🫣

bemusedmoose · 04/08/2022 18:55

Yes it is your face so you can do what you like but maybe he really hates the filler look and all it stands for. I've never seen nice filler to be fair, best case looks like stung by wasps, worst choked on a inflatable.

Personally I would have talked about it first rather than just going on a whim - it could have gone horribly wrong!

ChateauxNeufDePoop · 04/08/2022 18:55

Bonnie7 · 02/08/2022 23:40

Think this is very true.

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I think it's most likely very untrue. Other men will almost definitely notice you favourably for some of the things @PyongyangKipperbang mentioned but doubtful lip fillers if they're noticeably false.

pilkywilkymoansalot · 04/08/2022 18:56

Some people with trout pout don’t seem to realise how daft they look, like they have a different mirror to others, but hey I’m old and more of a liberated Mona Lisa with skinny lips.

LoisLane66 · 04/08/2022 18:58

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capostrophe · 04/08/2022 18:58

Your husband is massively overreacting and being disrespectful, and like others have said, possibly feeling insecure. He might be associating it with a sexy enticing type signal and worried it’s for other men. I can understand why you’re upset with him, especially what he’s modelling to your son. People often think they can always tell if someone’s had anything done. in reality you really can’t. You can only tell if it’s been overdone or done badly. If you want subtle, slightly more luscious lips that hold lipstick better, and if it’s done well, then you really do not get sausage / trout lips and people would never know. If you’ve still got swelling antihistamines will help

Mmpip · 04/08/2022 19:02

I honestly don't understand the relationship that some partners have. It's like a parent and child relationship with some people. If you want it then go for it. If my partner walked in with a trout pout (I know its not what you have) I would be surprised BUT not furious. I'm not his mother and I don't own him so he can crack on and do as he pleases.
I'm glad you're happy with your results. Enjoy....x

ThisMama1 · 04/08/2022 19:03

Hrpuffnstuff1 · 03/08/2022 08:42

The problem with your argument is. People meet, and decide to progress based on the status quo. Turning into a duck I feel isn't on my list of physically attractive attributes.
Saying that a girlfriend turned up to date in a jumpsuit.
That put me off as well.😂
I also think beards and excessive tattoos look ridiculous on men too, especially neck and hand tatts.

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You really only have friends that you find attractive? And if they change their look, even down to their clothing you no longer want to friends with them? WTAF? What a sh*tty friend you are

Percyprod · 04/08/2022 19:06

It’s your face, do as you want. Having said that, I really can’t understand why anyone would want to disfigure themselves, it never looks natural, but like many others, you are happy to look weird.

Willowsodyssey · 04/08/2022 19:06

When you have these treatments you are in effect showing other people that you don’t value your authentic self, so why are you surprised that your partner doesn’t value your authentic self either and would risk surgery to ‘improve’ you? You are also teaching your kids to fear getting older-is that a good legacy? Stop now while you still can and spend the money on holidays. I’m sure you are lovely as you are x

malificent7 · 04/08/2022 19:06

The word " chavs " also needs to be banned asap. Horrid, classist language.

Morse22 · 04/08/2022 19:08

I am 59 and I had mine done today too.
I paid for .5ml but asked for just .2ml as I didn’t want to look ‘false’. My top lip had gone so thin and I was very aware of smiling and my top lip just disappeared. Vanity I know but I chose to have it any way.
My husband hasn’t noticed but said ‘ nice lipstick colour’. Exactly what I wanted ‘something looks nice’ but not that I have had filler.
As you say swelling will settle and you like
it and that’s what is important.

BellePeppa · 04/08/2022 19:08

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This made me laugh 😆

DrJackDaniels · 04/08/2022 19:10

I just wanted to add, lips after filler will swell to twice the size, but after a couple of days will go down. 0.5ml you will hardly notice the difference at all. I’d bet money if your husband didn’t see you for 3 days then saw you after seeking subsides, he wouldn’t even notice.

GoodJanetBadJanet · 04/08/2022 19:11

Rude fuckers, you're a grown adult and can do what you like to your own appearance!
Ok, they might secretly not like it, but to be furious?
🙄 Ridiculous