Page 21 | Bit of Filler... husband furious!

Bonnie7 · 2022-08-02T21:37:04+00:00

Aibu? Went for my 6 monthly Botox treat today and decided to have a tiny bit of filler in my lips. They are currently swollen and look bigger than they will in a few days - but by no means a trout pout! Well my husband and eldest child have gone absolutely mad at me. They can barely look at me! They are furious! I can't believe my appearance causes them so much anguish when they barely look at me in normal circs! Said I look like I'm off TOWIE trying to be 20 and ridiculous... Husband is really really cross. I feel like I'm 15 again! I by the way, love it! Just turned 50 and have 4 kids... I just felt like looking after me and trying something new. Aibu - it's up to me? My face, my choice?!?

Itloggedmeoutagain · 04/08/2022 12:04

LuckySantangelo35 · 04/08/2022 10:11

@DoingJustFine

maybe she likes that look?

someone like Michelle keegan has had fillers and does not look trout pout, you can only tell because of old photos of her when her lips are far thinner

Show quote history

Of course you can tell with Michelle keegan.
Michelle keegan

milkyaqua · 04/08/2022 12:13

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

minipie · 04/08/2022 12:21

Michelle Keegan is a good example of what really bothers me about all these fillers.

Her treatments have been done well. She doesn’t look weird or fake. BUT she looks like a completely different person from before.

She looked perfectly nice before. She didn’t have anything “wrong” ie that would have caused her to be teased etc. She’s just doing it to conform to the current very fixed version of what pretty is.

Result: she looks the same as a load of other young women who’ve had the same fillers.

Basically what’s worrying me is that society’s view of what looks nice is becoming ever narrower. And it’s based on a look that (for most) can’t be achieved without expensive and potentially risky treatments. We are losing sight of the idea that lots of different kinds of faces can be pretty or attractive.

I also think it’s just weird to have a whole different face than the one you grew up with. I wonder how her mother feels?

malificent7 · 04/08/2022 12:23

These threads ( a bit like the tattoo threads) always bring out the feminists...i jest....there is nothing feminist about criticising women for how they choose to look or what they want to do with their bodies. The name calling is awful.
. It is totally normal to want to look and feel attractive and yes sexy and also normal to not love an aging face.
You are very lucky and secure if you are 100% happy and confident with the way you look and are 100% happy with the aging process.

Don't like jowls? Why the hell not get a tweakment?

LuckySantangelo35 · 04/08/2022 12:28

Hrpuffnstuff1 · 04/08/2022 12:02

I think the child may have come to the same conclusion as the husband without coercion.
On the one hand, we have threads having a nervous breakdown over the COl crisis. Then there's this one looking for affirmation that these modern cosmetic procedures are ok. Particularly those that swell the lips.😂

Show quote history

@Hrpuffnstuff1

nah the kid is following his dads lead

and if he doesn’t want a kiss and cuddle goodnight from Op cos he doesn’t like her lips…well that’s his look out 🤷‍♀️

JanisMoplin · 04/08/2022 12:31

minipie · 04/08/2022 12:21

Michelle Keegan is a good example of what really bothers me about all these fillers.

Her treatments have been done well. She doesn’t look weird or fake. BUT she looks like a completely different person from before.

She looked perfectly nice before. She didn’t have anything “wrong” ie that would have caused her to be teased etc. She’s just doing it to conform to the current very fixed version of what pretty is.

Result: she looks the same as a load of other young women who’ve had the same fillers.

Basically what’s worrying me is that society’s view of what looks nice is becoming ever narrower. And it’s based on a look that (for most) can’t be achieved without expensive and potentially risky treatments. We are losing sight of the idea that lots of different kinds of faces can be pretty or attractive.

I also think it’s just weird to have a whole different face than the one you grew up with. I wonder how her mother feels?

I went to a posh restaurant in London the other day. There were 5 young women at the next table and they all looked exactly alike. All had clearly had work done, but also identical work, maybe at the same salon? They were of different races but had the same lips, same shiny foreheads, same hair extensions... Honestly I felt like I was in The Stepford Wives except a younger version. It's disturbing and "her body her choice" is too easy to say. We are wiping out all individualism and for what exactly? To keep shooting ourselves full of toxins for the next 50 years?

MsTSwift · 04/08/2022 12:34

Bloody terrifying! Remember the 90s supermodels all so beautiful but in very different ways. These days they’d all look the same!

DillonPanthersTexas · 04/08/2022 12:39

Why the hell not get a tweakment?

Is 'tweakment' a word in common usage? Only heard it on here and I have to confess it is irritatingly twee.

JanisMoplin · 04/08/2022 12:58

malificent7 · 04/08/2022 12:23

These threads ( a bit like the tattoo threads) always bring out the feminists...i jest....there is nothing feminist about criticising women for how they choose to look or what they want to do with their bodies. The name calling is awful.
. It is totally normal to want to look and feel attractive and yes sexy and also normal to not love an aging face.
You are very lucky and secure if you are 100% happy and confident with the way you look and are 100% happy with the aging process.

Don't like jowls? Why the hell not get a tweakment?

Going to try to answer this ( no doubt people will call me smug or virtue signalling). I am 50, so at an age where many women might be doing tweakments.

Because I believe even tweakments are risky. ( S and B is full of people saying their filler has migrated or some such). I do not think they are the same as dying your hair.
Because I believe I look ok. Not great, but not terrible. These days I am less interested in how I look and more interested in what I have achieved professionally and personally. Mary Beard is an icon; Madonna not so much.
Because I have a young DD and I think I need to set a good example to her to be less vain and more willing to stand out from the crowd.
Because I think it is a slippery slope and I will have to go on doing it for ever.
Because I am Asian and it is all very alien to me. No one in my family has had them.
Because I am not keen on the Michelle Keegan look. Not that I will look anything like her; she is gorgeous except for her lips.
Because I am very happy to look like my mum.

I don't think all of the above is to do with luck.

Hrpuffnstuff1 · 04/08/2022 13:07

LuckySantangelo35 · 04/08/2022 12:28

@Hrpuffnstuff1

nah the kid is following his dads lead

and if he doesn’t want a kiss and cuddle goodnight from Op cos he doesn’t like her lips…well that’s his look out 🤷‍♀️

Show quote history

Oh, come on.
My youngest who's 9 says, daddy, you're getting fat. All on her own.😂
The issue with the treatments is, that we all have an innate sense of what is natural. These lips don't look natural, much like the young lads taking peds 18-inch guns with twigs legs. Just like tattoo's on the face. Everyone takes a look and makes a judgment. It's a normal reaction. Most people say nothing, it's only when pushed or if it's a close relationship we may express an opinion.

I think calling it a tantrum is over-egging the pudding, maybe it's a fear that his wife will become dependent on these cosmetics enhancements. Whatever it is he is allowed to express himself. It's not like he demolished the house or left.

Personally, I just have this instant aversion to some of these enhancements, a woman smiled at me in the Range. The smile was spoiled by these bloody fillers. She didn't need them. It's just deflating.😂😆

AnnieSnap · 04/08/2022 13:28

Most posts taking issue with women having these ‘tweakments’ (and blown up lips, with the risks of infections, migration of fillers etc, is not a tweak), are not insulting other women. Rather they are simply expressing their own views on what they see. They are not saying a woman shouldn’t make the choice, they are saying the results of that choice look ridiculous, reminds them of a trout or a duck etc. Those who choose to have this look will be offended by that opinion, but that doesn’t make the opinion any less valid. Nothing anti-feminist about having a opinion (e.g. on women in porn). Accusing women of being anti-feminist here is just attempting to shut down opposing opinions.

Summerhasbeenandgone · 04/08/2022 13:42

When my now exh realised I had been for a tattoo hit the roof. Declared he could never sleep with a tattooed woman.
Win bloody win!!
Initially he said it must be fake as I wouldn't have dared (defy him) get a real one.

takeitandleaveit · 04/08/2022 13:44

LuckySantangelo35 · 03/08/2022 15:24

@takeitandleaveit

that’s your opinion. She may feel different and fancy a bit of enhancement.

and “distraught” really?! “Distraught”. It genuinely wouldn’t bother me. I mean I’ve had it done so how could I be?? 🤣

Show quote history

Yes, distraught. Like I said, she's perfect as she is. I hope that she's never tempted to do anything like this to herself.

I have no opinion on what other people choose to do.

Omgkittys · 04/08/2022 13:51

AnnieSnap · 04/08/2022 13:28

Most posts taking issue with women having these ‘tweakments’ (and blown up lips, with the risks of infections, migration of fillers etc, is not a tweak), are not insulting other women. Rather they are simply expressing their own views on what they see. They are not saying a woman shouldn’t make the choice, they are saying the results of that choice look ridiculous, reminds them of a trout or a duck etc. Those who choose to have this look will be offended by that opinion, but that doesn’t make the opinion any less valid. Nothing anti-feminist about having a opinion (e.g. on women in porn). Accusing women of being anti-feminist here is just attempting to shut down opposing opinions.

It’s fine to have an opinion and saying something like you don’t like how fillers look isnt a problem but the women here go a lot further than that. When you’re calling women names, saying they look cheap, replying to people posting pictures of themselves saying they look like they’ve been punched in the face that goes past just sharing an opinion and is just nastiness for the sake of being nasty.

I take no offence to people saying they look like something I do, not everyone likes the same things and if I’m happy then it doesn’t matter, but I obviously will take offence to someone calling me names because of a decision I made that has no effect on them whatsoever and I think most people will be the same.

C8H10N4O2 · 04/08/2022 17:22

LuckySantangelo35 · 04/08/2022 12:28

@Hrpuffnstuff1

nah the kid is following his dads lead

and if he doesn’t want a kiss and cuddle goodnight from Op cos he doesn’t like her lips…well that’s his look out 🤷‍♀️

Show quote history

Exactly. Normal reaction from a 12 year old is "don't like that hair/dress/whatever, can we have pizzas for dinner?"

Not making a bloody great song and dance about it after watching the chief toddler march off in a strop because his wife had a minor mod for herself rather than a big mod for him.

1982mommaof4 · 04/08/2022 18:08

Aw op this is why I have my filler when my husband is away.. swelling has gone down by the time he returns.

Ignore them it's your body your choice

Glad you like them!

Highover · 04/08/2022 18:11

‘Went for my 6 monthly Botox treat today’ ……

I find the opening line of this post very depressing. Botox - a treat!!

1982mommaof4 · 04/08/2022 18:11

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 02/08/2022 23:14

Yeah I am with the posters here who say they are on your husband's side. YABU.

When you're married, you do have to take your husband/wife's feelings and opinions into account, and at least consult them, out of pure common decency. I would be livid if my husband came home with his face all puffed up like a hamster with his food in his cheeks, or lips like Pete Burns.

'Your body your choice' is always trotted out on here, but when you're in a relationship, your partner's opinions do matter.

Also if you're married, it's not YOUR money. It's family money/joint money.

So IMO @Bonnie7 YABVU. And having lip fillers at 50? Just no. And I say that as someone who is close to that age, so I am not being ageist. It does smack of trying to look younger, and in the vast VAST majority of cases, you will just look like a duck. It won't make you look 10 years younger.

Lip fillers don't always look like a duck and if done correctly it's just plumps out what you may have lost with age.

People are so judgmental on here

Spuffcat · 04/08/2022 18:14

Your body, your choice - end of! 😎

Scepticalwotsits · 04/08/2022 18:15

your body your choice, however its also their choice how they choose to take that, you cannot demand they like it. Choice works both ways

LovelyLisa2 · 04/08/2022 18:16

Your face you do what you like xx

supersop60 · 04/08/2022 18:22

I'm torn OP. I've read all your posts but not TWT.
On the one hand I'd say it's your body and you can do whatever you like.
On the other hand, it saddens me that so many people are buying into the current thinking that you have to have fat lips, big boobs, and an expressionless face to be considered or to feel attractive. (also long hair and sculpted make up).
OP - your face, your choice, but it's not you that will have to look at it.

AussieMozzieMagnet · 04/08/2022 18:29

If my husband did this, I'd be furious and maybe worse. I'm sorry, but playing with your face is just not on. I've never seen it look "natural". It looks bleeding ridiculous! I wish people would get a life rather than being obsessed with themselves.

AussieMozzieMagnet · 04/08/2022 18:30

1982mommaof4 · 04/08/2022 18:11

Lip fillers don't always look like a duck and if done correctly it's just plumps out what you may have lost with age.

People are so judgmental on here

Show quote history

Ummm, no. You're just parroting the marketing - you must have some skin in the industry. It looks vile and I'm sure you know it.

Allaboutthecheesecake · 04/08/2022 18:36

Sierra1961 · 02/08/2022 23:06

Ugh ignore your partner and eldest child, and also ignore the trout pout comment. I honestly think the judgement and hatred towards lip filler is totally unnecessary. OP has had a very small amount which, if done by someone skilled and reputable, will make a tiny difference and it’ll probably barely be noticeable once swelling has gone down. So shut the fuck up with the nasty and judgemental comments. I know plenty of people who have lip filler and if done correctly it looks lovely. Sounds like jealousy to me whenever I hear someone making the trout pout comments.

I agree with this comment ! Everyone saying they hate fillers , when they can be really subtle , not all fillers look fake.