Page 20 | Bit of Filler... husband furious!

Bonnie7 · 2022-08-02T21:37:04+00:00

Aibu? Went for my 6 monthly Botox treat today and decided to have a tiny bit of filler in my lips. They are currently swollen and look bigger than they will in a few days - but by no means a trout pout! Well my husband and eldest child have gone absolutely mad at me. They can barely look at me! They are furious! I can't believe my appearance causes them so much anguish when they barely look at me in normal circs! Said I look like I'm off TOWIE trying to be 20 and ridiculous... Husband is really really cross. I feel like I'm 15 again! I by the way, love it! Just turned 50 and have 4 kids... I just felt like looking after me and trying something new. Aibu - it's up to me? My face, my choice?!?

5128gap · 04/08/2022 09:12

Siameasy · 04/08/2022 08:14

They’re doing it to be attractive in the wider sense - be that to their male OH or in general, even if they’re not at a point in their life where they want men approaching them. It’s done to be “sexy” and most people are straight therefore it’s for men. I don’t know why it’s such a problem to admit it.

I actually have an issue with these so-called enhancements because very young women are now getting them and any discussion about this and the immense pressure on young women to look like a rubber doll is shut down with HeR bOdY hEr cHoIcE

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Now you're virtue signalling.
You've made a series of childish comments focusing purely on your opinion of the aesthetics of lip filler, using derogatory and insulting language and projecting your own desires around men on to other women, then at the 11th hour try to throw in some 'concern' about young women.
If you're so concerned about other women's welfare, a good place to start would be to review your own attitudes. Stop projecting your desires on to them. Stop with the insults. Stop colluding with male cruelty. Attitudes like yours are as damaging to women as the cosmetic industry you're suddenly so worried about.

fishonabicycle · 04/08/2022 09:15

Personally, I think that Botox, fillers etc are a stupid waste of money, and find it disturbing that people want to do it, or feel that they ought to.

Siameasy · 04/08/2022 09:17

RampantIvy · 04/08/2022 09:10

I actually have an issue with these so-called enhancements because very young women are now getting them and any discussion about this and the immense pressure on young women to look like a rubber doll is shut down with HeR bOdY hEr cHoIcE

I agree. I find it depressing that it is now becoming the norm to do this. I would like to lose a few lines and my jowls, but I have accepted that this is part of the ageing process, and feel privileged that I am fit and healthy at 63.

Yes, it’s depressing
I remember, in the 90s, the first time I actually knew someone who had got a boob job. People were laughing. Now it’s normal and those of us who don’t think it’s normal are required to hide that opinion.

It flies over people’s heads that it’s almost always women getting these things done. Men are allowed to age.

I owe it to my daughter to age naturally. It was fine for my mum, my aunt, my nan. They didn’t need any alterations-why would I? I know it’s going to be hard to resist but I think we can do this.

LuckySantangelo35 · 04/08/2022 09:22

@Siameasy

in your opinion it looks stupid. That is just your opinion. You are not the oracle.

JanisMoplin · 04/08/2022 09:24

Siameasy · 04/08/2022 09:17

Yes, it’s depressing
I remember, in the 90s, the first time I actually knew someone who had got a boob job. People were laughing. Now it’s normal and those of us who don’t think it’s normal are required to hide that opinion.

It flies over people’s heads that it’s almost always women getting these things done. Men are allowed to age.

I owe it to my daughter to age naturally. It was fine for my mum, my aunt, my nan. They didn’t need any alterations-why would I? I know it’s going to be hard to resist but I think we can do this.

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It is very easy to resist. I am. I would lose all respect for DH if he Botoxed himself or got filler, and vice versa. Not that we go around laughing and pointing at trout pouts in the street. We don't.....But we can express a preference in our homes.

I would be fucking distraught if DD did this to herself and would not attempt to hide it, even if I can't stop it.

Siameasy · 04/08/2022 09:25

5128gap · 04/08/2022 09:12

Now you're virtue signalling.
You've made a series of childish comments focusing purely on your opinion of the aesthetics of lip filler, using derogatory and insulting language and projecting your own desires around men on to other women, then at the 11th hour try to throw in some 'concern' about young women.
If you're so concerned about other women's welfare, a good place to start would be to review your own attitudes. Stop projecting your desires on to them. Stop with the insults. Stop colluding with male cruelty. Attitudes like yours are as damaging to women as the cosmetic industry you're suddenly so worried about.

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It’s interesting that the truth is “childish” to you. Probably because children have a habit of telling unpopular truths and you find reality uncomfortable.

For instance if I got lip filler, my DD would probably notice and comment adversely.

Youre in collusion because you’d rather have the lie. Talk about sheep mentality.

The correct answer is: Yep it looks great and isn’t in any way done to look sexy because full lips aren’t considered sexy at allllll nothing to see here she’s done it for her and that’s the only opinion allowed FIN

PuffyPuck · 04/08/2022 09:29

Siameasy · 04/08/2022 08:48

When men en masse start getting this done (please no!) then I will believe it’s not done to be sexy.

🤣🤣🤣

Siameasy · 04/08/2022 09:30

JanisMoplin · 04/08/2022 09:24

It is very easy to resist. I am. I would lose all respect for DH if he Botoxed himself or got filler, and vice versa. Not that we go around laughing and pointing at trout pouts in the street. We don't.....But we can express a preference in our homes.

I would be fucking distraught if DD did this to herself and would not attempt to hide it, even if I can't stop it.

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I can definitely resist the hideous rubber lips it’s the anti-ageing stuff I was referring to. It’s everywhere but I will resist.

I too would be gutted if my DD or my teen female relatives/friends got the lips. Luckily they think it looks stupid as well.

I don’t point at people in the street but DH and I are like wtf about some of the women we know who look frankly scary.

Viostep · 04/08/2022 09:32

Your money, your face, your choice. It's disturbing what your child is learning from your husband. That they can be controlling and emotionally abuse someone if they don't agree with their choices. Your husband refusing to eat his dinner - what a clown. Don't put up with emotional manipulation, tantrums and silent treatment. You deserve none of those things.

You actually owe it to your children to stand your ground. You are modelling what is acceptable in a relationship. You have nothing to apologise for.

I would be bright and breezy if I were you. Maybe chuck in an I'm sorry you feel that way but I'm happy with my choices. Don't make a big thing about it. If your husband won't eat his dinner, just laugh at him and tell him you accept his decision to starve. I would be kinder to your child as they are just copying how their father treats you. Refuses to kiss you goodnight? Tell them that makes you very sad indeed but you will respect their wishes, and then tell them goodnight. Bright and breezy.

LuckySantangelo35 · 04/08/2022 09:46

Viostep · 04/08/2022 09:32

Your money, your face, your choice. It's disturbing what your child is learning from your husband. That they can be controlling and emotionally abuse someone if they don't agree with their choices. Your husband refusing to eat his dinner - what a clown. Don't put up with emotional manipulation, tantrums and silent treatment. You deserve none of those things.

You actually owe it to your children to stand your ground. You are modelling what is acceptable in a relationship. You have nothing to apologise for.

I would be bright and breezy if I were you. Maybe chuck in an I'm sorry you feel that way but I'm happy with my choices. Don't make a big thing about it. If your husband won't eat his dinner, just laugh at him and tell him you accept his decision to starve. I would be kinder to your child as they are just copying how their father treats you. Refuses to kiss you goodnight? Tell them that makes you very sad indeed but you will respect their wishes, and then tell them goodnight. Bright and breezy.

Yep this!

this is the real issue here not the fillers

who does OP’s husband think he is?! And the not eating his dinner thing is pathetic 🤣🤣

DillonPanthersTexas · 04/08/2022 09:50

There are always going to be women out there who go along with male cruelty towards other women, as they think it makes them popular.

Yes, because majority or all female work places are renowned for their supportive, inclusive not bullying culture. Not having those cruel men around to impress really makes a difference.

DoingJustFine · 04/08/2022 10:05

These things aren't "six monthly treats" - I personally choose to have Botox every six months or so as a treat to me!

So they are six-monthly treats then.

DoingJustFine · 04/08/2022 10:08

I'm sure 0.5ml lip fillers look normal when they've settled down. You'll probably want more in a couple of months. But honestly, lip fillers just look like lip fillers. Victoria Beckham can afford to go to the very best practitioner in the world, but she still just looks like she's had lip filler.

LuckySantangelo35 · 04/08/2022 10:11

DoingJustFine · 04/08/2022 10:08

I'm sure 0.5ml lip fillers look normal when they've settled down. You'll probably want more in a couple of months. But honestly, lip fillers just look like lip fillers. Victoria Beckham can afford to go to the very best practitioner in the world, but she still just looks like she's had lip filler.

@DoingJustFine

maybe she likes that look?

someone like Michelle keegan has had fillers and does not look trout pout, you can only tell because of old photos of her when her lips are far thinner

Siameasy · 04/08/2022 10:23

Hopefully all in favour would be happy if their DH rocked up with the lips looking like a bee stung them* cos I bloody wouldn’t be impressed

*I have a tree of wasps in the garden who would probably oblige for free

5128gap · 04/08/2022 10:44

Siameasy · 04/08/2022 09:25

It’s interesting that the truth is “childish” to you. Probably because children have a habit of telling unpopular truths and you find reality uncomfortable.

For instance if I got lip filler, my DD would probably notice and comment adversely.

Youre in collusion because you’d rather have the lie. Talk about sheep mentality.

The correct answer is: Yep it looks great and isn’t in any way done to look sexy because full lips aren’t considered sexy at allllll nothing to see here she’s done it for her and that’s the only opinion allowed FIN

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I've never had lip filler in my life, nor do I intend to, so have no skin in the game. But I do think you're a little confused because you seem to be arguing both that lip fillers are sexy, and also that they're not, so I'm not sure what you're 'truth' actually is.
However, it's not 'the truth' or even the expression of an opinion that I consider childish. Its the name calling, the mockery, the silly comparisons, the desperation to be in with 'the boys' by laughing along with them.
Yes, some women have fillers. Yes some people don't like them. If that's what passes for entertainment in your life, the hours must literally fly by.

5128gap · 04/08/2022 10:50

DillonPanthersTexas · 04/08/2022 09:50

There are always going to be women out there who go along with male cruelty towards other women, as they think it makes them popular.

Yes, because majority or all female work places are renowned for their supportive, inclusive not bullying culture. Not having those cruel men around to impress really makes a difference.

And? I was talking to a poster who stated that men laugh at lip fillers and that she joins in. No misandry for you to challenge here, don't worry! Your radar is just a little over sensitive today.

AryaStarkWolf · 04/08/2022 11:25

@Floofboopsnootandbork Your lips look great!

Siameasy · 04/08/2022 11:27

5128gap · 04/08/2022 10:44

I've never had lip filler in my life, nor do I intend to, so have no skin in the game. But I do think you're a little confused because you seem to be arguing both that lip fillers are sexy, and also that they're not, so I'm not sure what you're 'truth' actually is.
However, it's not 'the truth' or even the expression of an opinion that I consider childish. Its the name calling, the mockery, the silly comparisons, the desperation to be in with 'the boys' by laughing along with them.
Yes, some women have fillers. Yes some people don't like them. If that's what passes for entertainment in your life, the hours must literally fly by.

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The women think lip fillers are sexy because full lips are generally seen as sexy. IMO lip fillers aren’t sexy but sexy is subjective so hey

But if you state out loud that women got the trout lips because they want to be sexy oh no mass denial they absolutely don’t want to be sexy AT ALL how dare you. They got lip fillers “just becos” okayyyyy

As for the rest of your comment you sound dramatic tbh. Everyone passes comment on things others do but I happen to disagree with the party line that it’s all “yay go you empowering you do you” bullshit to have a trout pout.

If a man got a trout pout I bet people would be openly staring at him so don’t “poor women” me. Women are their own worst enemies at times.

Siameasy · 04/08/2022 11:30

5128gap · 04/08/2022 10:50

And? I was talking to a poster who stated that men laugh at lip fillers and that she joins in. No misandry for you to challenge here, don't worry! Your radar is just a little over sensitive today.

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Trust me I laugh on my own at them. Looks stupid and you can see it a mile off.
My DH is actually scared of the look
You lose loads of non verbals when you have stuff done to your face-it’s really disconcerting

LuckySantangelo35 · 04/08/2022 11:42

Siameasy · 04/08/2022 11:30

Trust me I laugh on my own at them. Looks stupid and you can see it a mile off.
My DH is actually scared of the look
You lose loads of non verbals when you have stuff done to your face-it’s really disconcerting

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@Siameasy

your husband is “actually scared” of the look of lip Fillers??!

the poor wee lamb

be careful as he might not eat his dinner one night in response just like OP’s husband - these poor men will be wasting away!

xogossipgirlxo · 04/08/2022 11:46

Wow, I just read that your husband was very keen of you having breasts lift. Double standards very much.

Hrpuffnstuff1 · 04/08/2022 11:47

TeapotTitties · 04/08/2022 00:52

There's not a single pair of filled lips on this thread that don't look like swollen, filled lips.

That's not to say they all look awful, but not a single pair look natural so I don't understand how some people have managed to convince themselves that they do.

It's like fake tan, it looks exactly as it says on the tin - fake but again, that doesn't mean it looks awful but you'd have to be blind to think it looks like a natural tan from the sun.

Here. here, the sophistry, Jackanory's story to try to explain the ethics of looking like a rubber dingy is hilarious.

C8H10N4O2 · 04/08/2022 11:47

Siameasy · 04/08/2022 11:27

The women think lip fillers are sexy because full lips are generally seen as sexy. IMO lip fillers aren’t sexy but sexy is subjective so hey

But if you state out loud that women got the trout lips because they want to be sexy oh no mass denial they absolutely don’t want to be sexy AT ALL how dare you. They got lip fillers “just becos” okayyyyy

As for the rest of your comment you sound dramatic tbh. Everyone passes comment on things others do but I happen to disagree with the party line that it’s all “yay go you empowering you do you” bullshit to have a trout pout.

If a man got a trout pout I bet people would be openly staring at him so don’t “poor women” me. Women are their own worst enemies at times.

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Yes we all get it - you are vastly superior to all the stupid women who have procedures.

That isn't what this thread is about. This thread is about the DH's behaviour which was the behaviour of an arse and a hypocrite and into which he dragged the children.

Hrpuffnstuff1 · 04/08/2022 12:02

C8H10N4O2 · 04/08/2022 11:47

Yes we all get it - you are vastly superior to all the stupid women who have procedures.

That isn't what this thread is about. This thread is about the DH's behaviour which was the behaviour of an arse and a hypocrite and into which he dragged the children.

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I think the child may have come to the same conclusion as the husband without coercion.
On the one hand, we have threads having a nervous breakdown over the COl crisis. Then there's this one looking for affirmation that these modern cosmetic procedures are ok. Particularly those that swell the lips.😂