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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bit of Filler... husband furious!

677 replies

Bonnie7 · 02/08/2022 22:37

Aibu?

Went for my 6 monthly Botox treat today and decided to have a tiny bit of filler in my lips.
They are currently swollen and look bigger than they will in a few days - but by no means a trout pout!
Well my husband and eldest child have gone absolutely mad at me. They can barely look at me!
They are furious!
I can't believe my appearance causes them so much anguish when they barely look at me in normal circs!
Said I look like I'm off TOWIE trying to be 20 and ridiculous...
Husband is really really cross. I feel like I'm 15 again!
I by the way, love it!
Just turned 50 and have 4 kids...

I just felt like looking after me and trying something new.
Aibu - it's up to me? My face, my choice?!?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
JanisMoplin · 03/08/2022 13:59

IrisVersicolor · 03/08/2022 13:45

It’s an odd kind of confusion to conflate hair dye and mini skirts with Botox and fillers.

The reason I don’t have the latter is because I think they make women look worse not better.

I’ve worn mini skirts all my life and dyed my hair since I went grey though.

On MN you are not alllowed to say you think Botox and fillers look worse. Apparently it is letting down the sisterhood.
Also a mini skirt isn't comparable to sticking poison in your face.

blisstwins · 03/08/2022 13:59

Catcatcat12 · 03/08/2022 13:52

I’ve had Botox maybe six times and my husband only noticed once! He didn’t appreciate it at all. He says he wants me to age gracefully and naturally but unfortunately for me that’s not happening, as I get deep number 11 frown lines which makes me look angry. Some people seem to age in a happier pattern which I would be happier with but I don’t. I just look like a witch.

I also have under eye bags so I look constantly sleep deprived even when I’m not, the other day a taxi driver took one look at me and exclaimed ‘you look REALLY TIRED!!’ which he repeated twice (I wasn’t tired at all). Only surgery will help with this and I’m not sure I’ll ever do that.

Bottom line is not everyone ages in a way which allows them look the way the feel on the inside. I am one of those people and I am trying to fight this to some extent.

So true—
I get Botox in addition to filler. I only have my 11s done with Botox because they make me look so harsh. I don’t touch smile lines, crows feet, etc.
my face moves and most are surprised I have Botox. This is what I mean by there are many more people with good work than you would ever realize.

Op did the most minor of procedures and I am just amazed by this thread.

takeitandleaveit · 03/08/2022 14:14

I'd be distraught if my lovely dd did that to her face.

She's perfect as she is.

RampantIvy · 03/08/2022 14:17

Wheresthebeach · 03/08/2022 09:48

I suspect their reaction was shock. The swelling from lip fillers is considerable and they reacted with 'what the fuck have you done?'. Don't blame them really. If you'd warned them, they were prepared, then that would be different.

I think this is the real reason TBH.

Cameleongirl · 03/08/2022 14:17

Haven't RTFT, but obviously it's your face so your choice.

You also now know that your family doesn't think this procedure suits you, though, they were very clear about it and rather unkind.

Tbh, if my family reacted like that to a beauty procedure I'd had, I'd take note, because I think it must look drastic for them to be so vehement - although perhaps it looks better now that the redness has disappeared? Ultimately, it's still your choice, of course.

DillonPanthersTexas · 03/08/2022 14:19

quite often people will just think you look really well and well rested or whatever when actually it’s subtle cheek fillers giving you a lift and plumping out a drawn face or whatever

Maybe if you went away to some health retreat for a few weeks where you ate well, cut out booze, did lots of exercise and caught up on your sleep you would come back looking fresh faced and 'well rested'. If you left work on a Friday with a 'drawn out face' and came back on Monday morning looking sprightly with zero change in your routine most people will just think you have had filler or botox work (but will not bother to mention it to you).

FlissyPaps · 03/08/2022 14:24

DillonPanthersTexas · 03/08/2022 12:49

Does putting other women down for wearing makeup make you feel better about your au so natural fresh sporty face?

Where in that post have I put anyone down, I have just expressed a preference.

What was the need for the preference? As the thread is about OP’s lip filler. Comments saying women look “different” with makeup on as opposed to having a “fresh, natural” face comes across as bashing women who choose to wear makeup.

MintyGreenDreams · 03/08/2022 14:27

I had filler for the first time last year and I haven't got a trout pout by any means,dh was a but worried at first but he agrees they look natural.Its up to you what you do with your body imo.

SuperPets · 03/08/2022 14:29

FlissyPaps · 03/08/2022 14:24

What was the need for the preference? As the thread is about OP’s lip filler. Comments saying women look “different” with makeup on as opposed to having a “fresh, natural” face comes across as bashing women who choose to wear makeup.

Show quote history

It's not just about OP's lip filler. We are also talking about makeup, and the pp was commenting on someone elses comments on makeup.

And no, it does not at all come across as bashing women who wear make up. That is such a massive stretch I'm surprised you didn't sprain something.

internetpersonme · 03/08/2022 14:37

Its up to you not him but everyone with filler says its just a bit and not trout pout.

MintyGreenDreams · 03/08/2022 14:37

Before and after.They don't look completely natural but so much better to me.

Bit of Filler... husband furious!
Bit of Filler... husband furious!
neverbeenskiing · 03/08/2022 14:50

On the one hand of course it's your body and you have every right to do what you like, but I have to admit that if my DH had botox or fillers I'd be mortified. I'd like to think I would react calmly, but the reality is I would be embarrassed to be seen with him.

bingoitsadingo · 03/08/2022 14:56

Honestly your lips looked lovely before.

I would be gutted if my partner came home with filler in their face, especially without mentioning it in advance. I would be gutted they thought they needed it, I would consider them foolish for having a somewhat risky medical procedure without any necessity, and I would be upset because I love my partners face, lines and all. The natural intricacies of peoples faces are beautiful and individual.

YANBU to do what you want, its your face, but YABU to think that the people close to you won't have a different opinion.

LuckySantangelo35 · 03/08/2022 15:04

RuthW · 03/08/2022 13:22

Up to you.

Personally I can't understand why anyone does it. It makes everyone look unattractive.

@RuthW

in your opinion

LuckySantangelo35 · 03/08/2022 15:04

MintyGreenDreams · 03/08/2022 14:37

Before and after.They don't look completely natural but so much better to me.

they look lovely

LuckySantangelo35 · 03/08/2022 15:24

takeitandleaveit · 03/08/2022 14:14

I'd be distraught if my lovely dd did that to her face.

She's perfect as she is.

@takeitandleaveit

that’s your opinion. She may feel different and fancy a bit of enhancement.

and “distraught” really?! “Distraught”. It genuinely wouldn’t bother me. I mean I’ve had it done so how could I be?? 🤣

DillonPanthersTexas · 03/08/2022 15:30

She may feel different and fancy a bit of enhancement.

I am seeing more and more young women (20s) opting for 'a bit of enhancement' and yeah I think it is sad that they feel so unhappy about how they look they are electing for fillers and botox when it is not required.

LuckySantangelo35 · 03/08/2022 15:34

DillonPanthersTexas · 03/08/2022 15:30

She may feel different and fancy a bit of enhancement.

I am seeing more and more young women (20s) opting for 'a bit of enhancement' and yeah I think it is sad that they feel so unhappy about how they look they are electing for fillers and botox when it is not required.

@DillonPanthersTexas

I’m in my thirties not twenties but i got my lips done not because I was really unhappy with them, but because I knew with a subtle enhancement they could look even better - and they do.

Not everyone who has fillers is riddled with self loathing and insecurity

Marvellousmadness · 03/08/2022 15:38

Nothing looks worse then filler in lips
You get filler lips yes. But it looks fake and unnatural.

Imagine him coming home one day with fillers jn his cheeks and looking all clown like. You wouldnt be happy than either. Especially if he didn't even mention it to you.

DillonPanthersTexas · 03/08/2022 15:40

Not everyone who has fillers is riddled with self loathing and insecurity

Why then, if you were otherwise happy with how you looked would you elect for fillers/botox? For fun???

PeloAddict · 03/08/2022 15:43

DillonPanthersTexas · 03/08/2022 15:40

Not everyone who has fillers is riddled with self loathing and insecurity

Why then, if you were otherwise happy with how you looked would you elect for fillers/botox? For fun???

I didn't like the fact I had pain lines on my forehead even when I was out of pain and every time I looked in the mirror it reminded me of it
It wasn't natural ageing as such
I had three lots of Botox, lines gone and haven't had any for 3 years now as I use tretinoin instead

RampantIvy · 03/08/2022 15:44

MintyGreenDreams · 03/08/2022 14:37

Before and after.They don't look completely natural but so much better to me.

I don't think filler was needed there TBH and no I don't think it looks better because it looks too artificial.

LuckySantangelo35 · 03/08/2022 16:06

DillonPanthersTexas · 03/08/2022 15:40

Not everyone who has fillers is riddled with self loathing and insecurity

Why then, if you were otherwise happy with how you looked would you elect for fillers/botox? For fun???

@DillonPanthersTexas

i wasn’t unhappy, I just knew I could look better… so why wouldn’t I go for it?

WouldBeGood · 03/08/2022 16:06

Very nice @MintyGreenDreams ! I’m tempted,,. 😃

C8H10N4O2 · 03/08/2022 16:16

Hrpuffnstuff1 · 03/08/2022 10:47

Tbf my mum would never come home looking like a rubber dingy. She just wouldn't resort to such age-defying nonsense. She has too much respect for herself.

And a husband is allowed to give his opinion and so are the children.

Show quote history

He didn't "give his opinion" he had a tantrum and involved the DC in his tantrum.

He doesn't have to like it, nothing wrong with saying he preferred her without the (temporary) change. She might then decide not to repeat it when it wears off.

However throwing a tantrum and involving the children and making it a huge issue the act of an arse.

Having a tantrum when he has indicated other body modifications he would like her to make (because he wants them) is the act of a hypocrite.

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