Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bit of Filler... husband furious!

677 replies

Bonnie7 · 02/08/2022 22:37

Aibu?

Went for my 6 monthly Botox treat today and decided to have a tiny bit of filler in my lips.
They are currently swollen and look bigger than they will in a few days - but by no means a trout pout!
Well my husband and eldest child have gone absolutely mad at me. They can barely look at me!
They are furious!
I can't believe my appearance causes them so much anguish when they barely look at me in normal circs!
Said I look like I'm off TOWIE trying to be 20 and ridiculous...
Husband is really really cross. I feel like I'm 15 again!
I by the way, love it!
Just turned 50 and have 4 kids...

I just felt like looking after me and trying something new.
Aibu - it's up to me? My face, my choice?!?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
sunsetsandsandybeaches · 03/08/2022 12:10

oh and it will just be the initial swelling her family will have noticed. Once that’s gone down it will be barely noticeable if at all

I don't understand this - if it's practically unnoticeable then what's the point?

sunsetsandsandybeaches · 03/08/2022 12:11

rightonthyme · 03/08/2022 12:10

I bet you look great. Your face your choice! x

So would you be happy if your husband shaved his eyebrows off? Or got a huge forehead tattoo? Or got his tongue split?

I mean, it's his face so who cares what you think, right,

sjk17 · 03/08/2022 12:13

Why would you do that and expect your husband to be happy? I bet you look ridiculous and no wonder your husband and child are humiliated by your appearance. I would be too!

JanisMoplin · 03/08/2022 12:15

I just would not be able to look at DH without laughing if he got filler or Botox.
His face his choice but it would creep me out immensely.

BellePeppa · 03/08/2022 12:23

LindaEllen · 03/08/2022 11:01

Only when it's done BADLY. Good filler works to enhance what you already look like without being blindingly obvious, just like a good makeup application does.

Would you say wearing makeup was 'a form of body dysmorphia'? No.

There are lots of people who go too far with fillers and wanting to look younger. But for every one of those there are ten more who go to GOOD beauticians and have lovely, subtle fillers that really do look nice.

Show quote history

The trouble is it has to be maintained, unless it’s just a one-off try out. People start wanting more, or more often, and that’s when the problems can start and you start resembling cast members of Towie or Real Housewives of Cheshire 😬

I did have Botox and filler about five years ago and it was amazing, 10 years dropped off just like that but I didn’t do any more, it was just curiosity but I didn’t want to start getting that ‘look’. Of course, once it wore off I was back to square one🤷‍♀️

PeanutButterOnToad · 03/08/2022 12:24

@LuckySantangelo35 no, we alternate that with discussing the meaning of life and what a shit show the UK is post Brexit and how lucky we are we no longer live there 😁

BellePeppa · 03/08/2022 12:30

PeanutButterOnToad · 03/08/2022 12:24

@LuckySantangelo35 no, we alternate that with discussing the meaning of life and what a shit show the UK is post Brexit and how lucky we are we no longer live there 😁

It’s so cliched and boring when people make out you’ve got nothing better to do than ..... (whatever the topic of discussion is). After all, they’re on here so why don’t they have something better to do than MN.🙄

HazyAmethyst · 03/08/2022 12:38

husband prefers the real you

Then why is he suggesting she has her boobs done...

I'm firmly in your body, your choice, and if your partner really can't cope with it then you aren't compatible. But then, my partner came home with two small facial tattoos one time, and has had gold front teeth fitted (albeit removable grill types), and I can't say I'd care if he split his tongue.

There'd probably be some deal breakers, but why should someone stop doing something they want, in order to look attractive to their partner? If they don't like how you look, I'm sure someone would.

JanisMoplin · 03/08/2022 12:39

I missed that he wants her to have her boobs done. Ugh.

FlissyPaps · 03/08/2022 12:42

DillonPanthersTexas · 03/08/2022 10:17

it is a fact though 😊

Anecdotal I know but I am quite sporty and 'outdoorsy' as are many of my friends, we often spend our weekends up in the hills hiking and climbing. Most of the women in the group wear little to no makeup when half way up a mountain in Wales or trekking across Dartmoor, they simply can't be arsed when in the great outdoors. Personally I find the no makeup 'fresh', healthy, fit, outdoor look coupled with a great smile very attractive. That is not to mean when they put make up on they are 'ugly', they just look different, I find 'less is more', personal preferences and all that but I do find it a bit sad when some women confess to not even being able to pop down the shop on Sunday morning without having to put some make up on first.

Does putting other women down for wearing makeup make you feel better about your au so natural fresh sporty face? 😴

DillonPanthersTexas · 03/08/2022 12:49

Does putting other women down for wearing makeup make you feel better about your au so natural fresh sporty face?

Where in that post have I put anyone down, I have just expressed a preference.

SuperPets · 03/08/2022 12:51

FlissyPaps · 03/08/2022 12:42

Does putting other women down for wearing makeup make you feel better about your au so natural fresh sporty face? 😴

Show quote history

She hasn't put anyone down at all, clearly

LuckySantangelo35 · 03/08/2022 12:57

DillonPanthersTexas · 03/08/2022 12:04

well that’s exactly why im likely going to have a bit more because it is so subtle and barely noticeable. But better than then putting too much in on the first go

So you want the treatment to be noticeable by others, which kind of undermines the last dozen or so pages of various claims that work colleagues, family and friends cant notice any filler/botox work.

@DillonPanthersTexas

it all depends on what look you’re after

quite often people will just think you look really well and well rested or whatever when actually it’s subtle cheek fillers giving you a lift and plumping out a drawn face or whatever

LuckySantangelo35 · 03/08/2022 12:58

PeanutButterOnToad · 03/08/2022 12:24

@LuckySantangelo35 no, we alternate that with discussing the meaning of life and what a shit show the UK is post Brexit and how lucky we are we no longer live there 😁

@PeanutButterOnToad

cool

LuckySantangelo35 · 03/08/2022 13:00

sjk17 · 03/08/2022 12:13

Why would you do that and expect your husband to be happy? I bet you look ridiculous and no wonder your husband and child are humiliated by your appearance. I would be too!

@sjk17

id be humiliated to be seen with someone as judgmental and insular as you

she has had a small amount of lip filler - why would she look ridiculous?!

And don’t go on about trout pout or whatever that does not come about through a single small amount of filler

Hrpuffnstuff1 · 03/08/2022 13:08

LuckySantangelo35 · 03/08/2022 10:54

@Hrpuffnstuff1

is your mum very holier than thou? Clearly made of better stuff than the likes of me who has no respect for myself according to you 🤣

and yeah I guess the husband and 12 year old son have the right to their opinion and op has the right to tell them to pipe down and that she will do exactly what she wants to her face and body so yeah 🤷‍♀️
they can give their opinion doesn’t mean it’s of any relevance or importance to anyone. Too many males just can’t get their head around that I know.

I stand by the fact that at 12 I had too much respect for my mum to say anything critical to her about my appearance, both my mum and my dad would have put me in place had I dared and rightly so

Show quote history

What are you trying to shoehorn this into the menz aren't allowed an opinion.

Dp is hyper-critical of other women, how they dress, hair, and make-up. I know she hates these treatments. I don't think men give it much air time tbh. Although Dp always asks my opinion about her appearance be it hair, dress, lippy color, etc.

Carrieonmywaywardsun · 03/08/2022 13:10

Unless they think it'll stay swollen, they are being unreasonable. They won't care when it's healed!

junglejane66 · 03/08/2022 13:10

Maybe DH cant tell from your face your anger and fury :)

LuckySantangelo35 · 03/08/2022 13:13

Hrpuffnstuff1 · 03/08/2022 13:08

What are you trying to shoehorn this into the menz aren't allowed an opinion.

Dp is hyper-critical of other women, how they dress, hair, and make-up. I know she hates these treatments. I don't think men give it much air time tbh. Although Dp always asks my opinion about her appearance be it hair, dress, lippy color, etc.

Show quote history

@Hrpuffnstuff1

your wife needs to learn that women support other women.

The Lionesses are bringing that into public awareness amongst other women.

whether you want to wear make up or not or get fillers or not, no woman is better or more - to use your words - self-respecting or worthy of revere than another. All women are amazing.

JanisMoplin · 03/08/2022 13:15

Oh jeez all women are not amazing. Just like all men are not amazing.

LuckySantangelo35 · 03/08/2022 13:17

JanisMoplin · 03/08/2022 13:15

Oh jeez all women are not amazing. Just like all men are not amazing.

@JanisMoplin

ok not all are! But lots are

RuthW · 03/08/2022 13:22

Up to you.

Personally I can't understand why anyone does it. It makes everyone look unattractive.

5128gap · 03/08/2022 13:41

Women being spiteful about other women who enhance their appearance is as old as time. When I was young you would get called names for bleaching your hair or wearing a mini skirt. Now it's no longer acceptable to do that, the types of women who need to stick the knife into others have turned their attention to women who have botox and filler. The same moral high ground, the name calling and insults, the same looking to men to confirm how awful it all is. It's always been the way.

IrisVersicolor · 03/08/2022 13:45

It’s an odd kind of confusion to conflate hair dye and mini skirts with Botox and fillers.

The reason I don’t have the latter is because I think they make women look worse not better.

I’ve worn mini skirts all my life and dyed my hair since I went grey though.

Catcatcat12 · 03/08/2022 13:52

I’ve had Botox maybe six times and my husband only noticed once! He didn’t appreciate it at all. He says he wants me to age gracefully and naturally but unfortunately for me that’s not happening, as I get deep number 11 frown lines which makes me look angry. Some people seem to age in a happier pattern which I would be happier with but I don’t. I just look like a witch.

I also have under eye bags so I look constantly sleep deprived even when I’m not, the other day a taxi driver took one look at me and exclaimed ‘you look REALLY TIRED!!’ which he repeated twice (I wasn’t tired at all). Only surgery will help with this and I’m not sure I’ll ever do that.

Bottom line is not everyone ages in a way which allows them look the way the feel on the inside. I am one of those people and I am trying to fight this to some extent.

Swipe left for the next trending thread