Bit of Filler... husband furious!

[Bonnie7]

Aibu?

Went for my 6 monthly Botox treat today and decided to have a tiny bit of filler in my lips.
They are currently swollen and look bigger than they will in a few days - but by no means a trout pout!
Well my husband and eldest child have gone absolutely mad at me. They can barely look at me!
They are furious!
I can't believe my appearance causes them so much anguish when they barely look at me in normal circs!
Said I look like I'm off TOWIE trying to be 20 and ridiculous...
Husband is really really cross. I feel like I'm 15 again!
I by the way, love it!
Just turned 50 and have 4 kids...

I just felt like looking after me and trying something new.
Aibu - it's up to me? My face, my choice?!?

im not sure your pals look great when out and about up mountains but objectively they would look better with makeup on because that it what makeup is designed to do.

Well, in your eyes they may not look great, from my perspective they generally looked fabulous, neither of us is 'wrong', we just have different views as to what makes someone attractive, something you seem almost unwilling to accept. I am not 'anti makeup', I am just not a fan of the heavily made up look or think a women is by default less pretty because she has elected not to apply make up. Some of the suggestions on here that when a man states a preference for a women who wears little or no make up he is somehow insecure, controlling or terrified their partner is going to run off with another man if she makes herself pretty are laughable.

They are though

This is so true. I had 0.5 ml a week ago and honestly I can barely see it now! Feel like I want a bit more

sounds like you might be on a slippery slope

I never said I felt 15!!
I'd hate to be 15.
Funny how people read what they want to and discard the actual truth!

Only when it's done BADLY. Good filler works to enhance what you already look like without being blindingly obvious, just like a good makeup application does.

Would you say wearing makeup was 'a form of body dysmorphia'? No.

There are lots of people who go too far with fillers and wanting to look younger. But for every one of those there are ten more who go to GOOD beauticians and have lovely, subtle fillers that really do look nice.

Oh no! Maybe that's worse?
They noticed as soon as they asked he what was for dinner!
The redness has gone down today and I absolutely love my subtle enhancement. It makes me feel good anyway.

Fillers are only not noticeable when people are young. By the time people are 50+ it’s obvious and they’re still telling themselves nobody notices.

Er, in your OP:

I feel like I'm 15 again!

@Busybeeble

im on a slippery slope 🤣 haha

have you yourself had lip fillers? No? Well in that case you have no idea then that 0.5 ml is incredibly subtle and in most cases not noticeable to even those closest to you.

If you’ve not had it and know nothing about it which you clearly don’t then you clearly cannot make informed and accurate statements about it, surely you can see that

Would you say wearing makeup was 'a form of body dysmorphia'? No.

There is a bit of a difference from someone applying temporary make up with a fine brush and someone getting their face injected with filler/botox resulting in medium to long term change.

@DillonPanthersTexas

botox and fillers are not a long term change

they last up to around 18 months. Well botox doesn’t last nearly as long as that actually.

get your facts right!

It smacks of control to me and a bit of learned misogyny, to react like that to a small temporary aesthetic tweak. Your face and body don't belong to your husband or your kids. And he would be happy for you to get your boobs done now he gave his say so? Hmm.

have you yourself had lip fillers? No? Well in that case you have no idea then that 0.5 ml is incredibly subtle and in most cases not noticeable to even those closest to you.

Again, if the treatment is so incredibly subtle or not even noticeable to those close to you then why bother if makes little to no outward change to your appearance??

The borderline collective dissonance on here that nobody notices any filler or botox treatment is laughable. People are always gossiping about who has had what treatments, how they now look etc, they are just too polite to discuss it with you.

@MummyGummy

I’d imagine there may also be some embarrassment at being seen with her, if she really does look like a TOWIE, it’s pretty ridiculous.

She's had 0.5 done, there's no way she would look like that.

I'm wouldn't personally have fillers done and I'm not a fan of OTT ones but each to their own.

Just pointing out that with the small amount OP has had, she really won't have had an extreme result at all.

they last up to around 18 months.

Which I would argue very much falls into the 'medium to long term' category, especially in context of a procedure that changes your appearance.

If its that subtle and unnoticeable, why would you bother. And how then did OPs family notice immediately and think she looked like a towie trout pout?

Clearly not in any sense subtle or hard to see, was it?

I think she meant she felt 15 by the way she was being treated by her husband and child, being told off almost, not that the fillers have made her feel so very youthful.

Anyway, I do think YABU in changing the way you look without discussing or garnering an opinion from your husband. My husband and I both have piercings and tattoos, I know I could get a piercing without saying anything to him and he'd more than likely love it, but neither would get something more permanent like a tattoo done without asking the other what they thought. I have coloured hair, which I talked to him about first because he's the one who has to look at me. I'd not want to get anything done that meant he didn't like how I looked, physical attraction is what draws couples to each other in the first place after all.

Won't it depend how much you get? Years ago, when I was around the same age myself, I worked with a 20 year old woman who had lip fillers. No-one said to her face, but the other employees made fun of her relentlessly behind her back. I can honestly say I didn't join in, however it was very obvious and very silly-looking.

I don't like them myself but wouldn't say so if someone had them done, even if they did look bad. One of my current colleagues gets botox in various places on her face (she has openly mentioned it) and has a definite "trout pout" but I haven't, and wouldn't, comment. I do think it's a shame as she looked fine before and now her face is usually very swollen and sometimes lumpy in places, but that's my opinion and not appropriate to tell her.

Lip fillers are a thing where we are on holiday at the moment, I genuinely don’t understand why anyone thinks they make them look better. I am all for you do you but even the 20 year olds look ridiculous. Spot the trout pout has become the holiday game.

@SuperPets

well that’s exactly why I’m thinking of having a bit more because it is so subtle

@SuperPets

oh and it will just be the initial swelling her family will have noticed. Once that’s gone down it will be barely noticeable if at all

@DillonPanthersTexas

well that’s exactly why im likely going to have a bit more because it is so subtle and barely noticeable. But better than then putting too much in on the first go

@PeanutButterOnToad

lol do you really not have any thing else to talk about on holiday??

well that’s exactly why im likely going to have a bit more because it is so subtle and barely noticeable. But better than then putting too much in on the first go

So you want the treatment to be noticeable by others, which kind of undermines the last dozen or so pages of various claims that work colleagues, family and friends cant notice any filler/botox work.

But botox is. She said she had gone in for both and got filer as well.

I bet you look great. Your face your choice! x