Bit of Filler... husband furious!

[Bonnie7]

Aibu?

Went for my 6 monthly Botox treat today and decided to have a tiny bit of filler in my lips.
They are currently swollen and look bigger than they will in a few days - but by no means a trout pout!
Well my husband and eldest child have gone absolutely mad at me. They can barely look at me!
They are furious!
I can't believe my appearance causes them so much anguish when they barely look at me in normal circs!
Said I look like I'm off TOWIE trying to be 20 and ridiculous...
Husband is really really cross. I feel like I'm 15 again!
I by the way, love it!
Just turned 50 and have 4 kids...

I just felt like looking after me and trying something new.
Aibu - it's up to me? My face, my choice?!?

Massive double standards. Boobs fine lips not?

enjoy op

You husband prefers the “real” you. I think that’s lovely

You changed the face they know and love. Your choice of course, their choice as to whether they still feel the same way about you. You can’t think you have control over that too, surely?

Always fascinated by the defensiveness in these threads. My cousin is the same - she has lip filler, “only 0.5ml”, goes to “top doctor” for “subtle” work that “no one can tell”. She ‘confessed’ this to me 6 months ago… but I already noticed a couple of years ago. Her lips are not over the top, but you can still tell she’s had work!

I had lip filler for the first time earlier this year, 0.5ml also. I was horrified when I came out as my lips were so swollen! After a few days, they'd calmed down and looked super natural, just slightly fuller and lifted - no one has asked if I've had them done. Even when swollen, my kids didn't even notice id had it done, which makes me think your child is only outraged because your dh is.

My husband is happy for me to do whatever I want with my face and body, just as I am with him. We are our own people. I don't understand this POV of just because you're married, they can dictate what you do to your face or body.

It’s your face to do with as you please but why? Lip filler looks ridiculous on most people.

If no one can tell, what’s the point?

The idea of a 6 month Botox treat (and filler on top) is too depressing for words. Talking about injecting crap into your face in a ridiculous bid to halt the aging process as if it was a nice bar of chocolate.

Your body your choice etc etc but I'd be disappointed in any loved one going down this route.

Yep!

makeup is literally designed to make people look better and to enhance features etc so Unless you apply it in a really really shit way EVERYONE LOOKS BETTER WITH MAKEUP! FACT

My husband is happy for me to do whatever I want with my face and body, just as I am with him.

Really, if he came home with a full length sleeve tattoo dedicated to Christiano Ronaldo, or had gold front tooth fitted, decided to grow a Gandalf beard etc you would be totally fine with his new appearance?

omg All these posters saying she will have trout pout, look like Pete burns etc need to get a handle on themselves and are being very silly

op will look nothing of the sort

someone like Pete burns has multiple ml’s of filler repeatedly, very different to OP

and all these people declaring it looks awful, no - in your opinion it looks awful. What you say and think isn’t gospel! It’s just your opinion which is no more valid and worth than anyone else’s

Oh and OP your husband needs to sod off and your kid pipe down and learn some respect for his mother

honestly I wouldn’t have dared to say anything critical or derogatory about my mothers appearance when I was 12. The child is really out of line

I suspect their reaction was shock. The swelling from lip fillers is considerable and they reacted with 'what the fuck have you done?'. Don't blame them really. If you'd warned them, they were prepared, then that would be different.

I can tell if someones had a lot of filler or botox, but if its just a bit, i either cant tell at all, or its not startling - id think oh, has she had her lips done, but it would be about as big a deal as if she had a new haircut.
If its the "big lip" look, then I hate that. It looks stupid, but some people love it. It annoys me to talk to people whove had it done

@gannett

it’s not crap, filler is a naturally occurring substance which we already have in our bodies

HTH

I seriously doubt all those saying that they should f off etc would actually be happy if the person they were married to suddenly came home with surprise cosmetic surgery that they didn't like the look of... You might want to pretend it doesn't matter what you do to your appearance in a relationship but of course it does.

makeup is literally designed to make people look better and to enhance features etc so Unless you apply it in a really really shit way EVERYONE LOOKS BETTER WITH MAKEUP! FACT

Articulating something in capital letters does not make it a fact.

I think most men who say they like women without makeup really have no idea whether they wear it or not.

People have been enhancing their appearance according to fashions from the beginning of time.

The fashion for the young people is these big lips, etc, but the OP isn’t trying to look like she’s on Love Island, just a bit of help to look good and make her happy.

And for those asking what’s the point of no one notices, the point is that the person who’s had it done notices, and feels better! It’s subtle. If you don’t like it, don’t do it, but this righteousness is nuts.

Id also bet that plenty of those saying they can spot Botox and fillers a mile off would be surprised if they knew what friends, family and acquaintances had had done.

@Weirdwonders

Ah poor hubby and kid, the poor lambs

must have been such a shock for them

I hope they are ok and their delicate eyes are not too offended by the sight of a tiny amount of lip filler

op’s face is going to change in other ways over the years… will her husband and child still deign to love her then?

honestly such bullshit on here at times

@DillonPanthersTexas

it is a fact though 😊

hth

@SarahSissions

as others have said, he may have ulterior motives for that I.e not wanting her to look too attractive in case she attracts the attention of other men

all woman look better with makeup, they just do because makeup is designed to enhance features, conceal imperfections etc

I know full well I look better with makeup and if a man tried to tell me I didn’t - I would find it really disingenuous and patronising (I mean, I have eyes I can see what I look like) and also wonder if there was some insecurity within them that makes them rather I didn’t look my best

Once they stop being swollen, he's gonna love it. My husband wasn't a fan either and now says I have very nice lips. The difference is my husband knew beforehand, so he was kinda prepared.

yeah but she doesn't have to look at her face, they do.

Of course OP you can do as you want. But they can have the opinions they want.

It's not even slightly a fact. It's an opinion.

I wouldn't think twice about getting a little bit of lip filler and not telling my partner beforehand. I'd also have a small tattoo without telling him, a piercing, little of botox etc. These things aren't extreme and it's my body. I can't see an issue with it at all.

I agree with a pp that your DH doesn't like you working on your appearance and in his eyes, making yourself more attractive to other men. Your lips are socially more attractive now and he doesn't like it.

I think your DS is annoyed because his dad is and is probably thinking about extreme images of plastic surgery that he's seen...but this isn't what you've done.