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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really pissed off about this

101 replies

SayNoho · 02/08/2022 17:22

So DH ALLOWED us to book a holiday last week and now he is saying he doesn’t want to be together, he went out all weekend again and I treated him ‘badly’ whilst he was there as I was struggling with COVID and both kids were poorly (2 and 5) he couldn’t get any signal and I needed some support. Anyway, he said on the back of the way I treated him he doesn’t love me anymore, still not wants to go away and has been flirting with me all day, now he is saying he loves me but doesn’t like me. I’ve asked him if there is somebody else and he says there isn’t, I believe him honestly he would just tell me at this point I think. I am getting the vibe that he wants me be affectionate to him but then he is shutting me down? I’m really confused, please help

OP posts:
StopSayingIt · 02/08/2022 17:25

Tbh I'd call his bluff and say okay (and then actually do it) he sounds like a nob.

Original poster
SayNoho · 02/08/2022 17:26

He’s also been saying his friends say they don’t know how he puts up with me, I know I am
not perfect!

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 02/08/2022 17:31

Don’t let him tell you he doesn’t want you twice

Original poster
SayNoho · 02/08/2022 17:37

Why did he allow us to book a holiday for next week knowing this?

OP posts:
RandomMess · 02/08/2022 17:41

I would end the marriage, he is showing you how little he cares for you.

Disappears when you have Covid and 2 young DC to care for?

He wants you to accept him treating you badly and be grateful for anything he does.

Unanananana · 02/08/2022 17:43

Sounds like he is trying to force you to end the relationship so he can play the victim.

What a prince.

00100001 · 02/08/2022 17:45

Why do you need his permission to go on holiday?

Go without him

picklemewalnuts · 02/08/2022 17:45

Let him go on his own with the kids. Tell him you need time to think.

Original poster
SayNoho · 02/08/2022 17:45

But what do I do about the holiday? Can your feelings really change so much in a week/weekend?

OP posts:
Original poster
SayNoho · 02/08/2022 17:45

He is saying the kids will want him there, in trapped

OP posts:
Original poster
SayNoho · 02/08/2022 17:46

He said it is his sons first holiday and I can’t take that away from him

OP posts:
SkirridHill · 02/08/2022 17:46

Cherchez La femme. As a PP has said, sounds like he's trying to get you to dump him. I'd be asking myself why.

Electriq · 02/08/2022 17:46

His friends only know what he is telling them, so take no notice of that!

Enjoy the holiday without him!

Original poster
SayNoho · 02/08/2022 17:46

It gets better, it was my mum that paid for holiday for us as she came into some money.

OP posts:
00100001 · 02/08/2022 17:47

SayNoho · 02/08/2022 17:46

He said it is his sons first holiday and I can’t take that away from him

He's taking it away from himself.

00100001 · 02/08/2022 17:47

SayNoho · 02/08/2022 17:46

It gets better, it was my mum that paid for holiday for us as she came into some money.

So GO WITHOUT HIM

Electriq · 02/08/2022 17:49

00100001 · 02/08/2022 17:47

So GO WITHOUT HIM

Show quote history

This x1000000

Stripyhoglets1 · 02/08/2022 17:50

Take your mum with you then.

Go on the holiday and dump his sorry arse.

You won't get your money back now so don't waste your mums money on this idiot who's messing with your emotions.

If he loved you he wouldn't have left you either 2 kids while feeling ill.

MissyB1 · 02/08/2022 17:51

How old is he 14? 🙄
Get rid of this man child and go on holiday with the kids by yourself.

HollowTalk · 02/08/2022 17:51

You don't owe him anything if your mum paid for the holiday. Can't you take her with you instead?

Perple · 02/08/2022 17:52

He sounds genuinely awful. You are worth more than this and really don’t need him.

go and have a lovely holiday without him. Tell him to have his bags packed and left while you’re away

WhereYouLeftIt · 02/08/2022 17:55

SayNoho · 02/08/2022 17:46

It gets better, it was my mum that paid for holiday for us as she came into some money.

So take your mum of holiday with you and leave him behind. Seriously, how crap would a holiday with this bellend be? VERY crap!

All his mithering around, it's a total headfuck. A deliberate headfuck on his part. He wants you to not know whether you're coming or going, he's enjoying your distress.

Not only do you not take him on holiday, you also don't take him as a passenger on your life. Get rid!

Sparkletastic · 02/08/2022 17:56

Take your mum.

Bobbins36 · 02/08/2022 18:00

SayNoho · 02/08/2022 17:46

It gets better, it was my mum that paid for holiday for us as she came into some money.

Take you, the kids and your mum for a nice break and tell the selfish bellend to go fuck himself.

Isaidnoalready · 02/08/2022 18:02

He can book himself a holiday in the same area and visit