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Original poster

Bohemian, "lefty" free range middle class parenting really just lazy neglectful parenting jazzed up?

579 replies

Naturelover5 · 02/08/2022 16:12

In my three dc's classes we have some of these bohemian, creative lefty parents.. The children are unkempt, scruffy, hair undone & dressed without fail in mismatched clothes... Some of the children have very questionable manners & are either running amock or with their heads glued to screens constantly (as seen on holiday recently, loud obnoxious parents quaffing seccy while the kids were largely ignored).. If council estate kids were dirty, scruffy & looked uncared for social services would be called.. For this particular group (& they are everywhere) the barefoot, scruffy kids are seen as badges of honour..
The lefty parent types are also very anti homework & organised activities outside school as they think kids should be kids however aibu to think they are just lazy & couldn't be arsed putting the effort in?!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Danoo · 02/08/2022 22:24

ha, ''quaffing seccy''. Love it. Can't wait to slip that in to a conversation.

JennyForeigner · 02/08/2022 22:26

fyn · 02/08/2022 17:23

You’d have an a fit seeing the children at the nursery we use. The children are dropped off largely by nannies in third hand, stained waterproofs or uniform. They come home basically black with dirt, very often multicoloured from powder paint with wild hair and very dirty fingernails. It’s rated outstanding and recently placed top 20 in the country for nurseries. The children are disheveled and wearing old mismatched clothes but they have also had a wonderful time playing out in acres of fields and woods which is surely much more important than having matching clothes.

Where is this nursery? We'll move.

(*misses point of thread)

nannykatherine · 02/08/2022 22:29

Naturelover5 · 02/08/2022 16:12

In my three dc's classes we have some of these bohemian, creative lefty parents.. The children are unkempt, scruffy, hair undone & dressed without fail in mismatched clothes... Some of the children have very questionable manners & are either running amock or with their heads glued to screens constantly (as seen on holiday recently, loud obnoxious parents quaffing seccy while the kids were largely ignored).. If council estate kids were dirty, scruffy & looked uncared for social services would be called.. For this particular group (& they are everywhere) the barefoot, scruffy kids are seen as badges of honour..
The lefty parent types are also very anti homework & organised activities outside school as they think kids should be kids however aibu to think they are just lazy & couldn't be arsed putting the effort in?!

I totally agree
some families get away with stuff social services would be all over them for if they were not able to afford nannies to actually I look after their children properly ..
if mums on a council estate were sat outside drinking it’s horrible shock reaction
but posh mums in the park can sit there drinking while their kid gets entertained bu someone else

Jumpstark · 02/08/2022 22:30

My daughter deliberately wears mismatched socks and she sometimes forgets to comb her hair!! 😱On the plus side she's just starred in her school play and had a fantastic school report and is really kind to her friends. But I guess I've been focusing on the wrong areas? 🤷

Comedycook · 02/08/2022 22:32

The thing is if you're a working class parent who isn't rolling in money you can't afford a second home, private tutors, piano lessons or skiing holidays. You can afford a branded tracksuit and some trainers and some nice hair bows. So you buy what nice things you can to show the world you're a decent parent.

Comedycook · 02/08/2022 22:34

Jumpstark · 02/08/2022 22:30

My daughter deliberately wears mismatched socks and she sometimes forgets to comb her hair!! 😱On the plus side she's just starred in her school play and had a fantastic school report and is really kind to her friends. But I guess I've been focusing on the wrong areas? 🤷

I'm sure you could manage to comb her hair as well as all those other things...

Kerrrmieee · 02/08/2022 22:35

A true lefty bohemian foot - including hole in middle where stepped on a peg 😭. I suggest you check for Boden's before tarnishing the Tory brush upon the true.

Night night 😁

Bohemian, "lefty" free range middle class parenting really just lazy neglectful parenting jazzed up?
EtnaVesuvius · 02/08/2022 22:39

I do know the type you mean OP. There are lots around here (‘Bohemian’ town). I don’t care about their political views at all but I do care about how rude and feral their kids are. The parents are also VERY pointed about extended breastfeeding, home schooling etc and THEY ARE RIGHT AND YOU ARE WRONG.

They seem to believe that the freedoms of their child are more important than being polite or considerate to others. They don’t intervene eg if a child is bothering other people or if their dog is gobbling up your picnic. Because they’re so freeeeee…

Dogscanbefallguysforallmannerofthings · 02/08/2022 22:42

I think there can be more social pressure or "fear" of being judged if working class kids aren't turned out well - pfb was born in a very middle class enclave and we then moved to a much lower socially/economic area and there were marked differences in attitude from professionals - it's often hard to point to anything in particular but it's there.

Yes this it, spot on. My mum worked flat out keeping us absolutely immaculate: clothes, hair, manners, the house, car (although she wasn’t responsible for its state it too was pristine) to give me the privilege of not having to bother my arse so much 😉

Examples: clean clothes but line dried then tumbled rather than ironed, hair as they wish, etc.

Everyone comments on their charm & manners though. I just couldn’t countenance otherwise.

Thank you for this thread OP, loving it. Was considering Netflix tonight but this is gold.

apintortwo · 02/08/2022 22:44

These types are being ridiculed here as there's no way to take them seriously, no matter how hard you try.

Free range? Cultural capital? Poor personal hygiene and intentionally unkempt? 😆

EtnaVesuvius · 02/08/2022 22:45

Cocolatte24 · 02/08/2022 21:16

Is there anything more irritating than this vacuous Mrs Hinch follower / Towie comment 🙄

Nothing says ‘I follow the sheep’ like ‘You okay, hun?’

Show quote history

Agree. Nothing more irritating, unintelligent and passive aggressive on the planet.

allfurcoatnoknickers · 02/08/2022 22:49

@YesJess It's North Oxford isn't it. It sounds absolute peak North Oxford.

Scottishskifun · 02/08/2022 22:49

But the big question still remains.....what is mismatched clothes????

Original poster
Naturelover5 · 02/08/2022 22:54

Wheresmywoolyjumpers · 02/08/2022 18:49

I worked closely with social services for a long time. If parents were educated and had money they got away with behaviour that would involve stern talks from the social workers if the family were poor. Was in Norfolk recently, the place was heaving with posh parents with zero control over their kids.

Our hols were Norfolk too... The scruffy, feral kids had immaculate beautifully dressed parents, slightly boho but extremely well groomed while the kids ran riot & looked neglected...

OP posts:
Thepeopleversuswork · 02/08/2022 22:55

@allfurcoatnoknickers

Its North Oxford isn’t it?

Bingo.

Itdoesntreallymatter · 02/08/2022 23:01

neverbeenskiing · 02/08/2022 16:24

How on earth do you know how all these parents vote?

We've had so many weird posts like these today. Apparently the social workers who turned a blind eye to the Rotheram abuse were Labour voters earlier. Everyone has lost the plot on here......

shedwithivy · 02/08/2022 23:01

Nothing pertinent to add to the thread...

But I hate how "parent" is used more as a verb than a noun these days. I am a parent and I do my best, but I don't spend all that much time analysing the style with which they dress themselves, the brand of snacks they eat or what the cleanliness of their faces say about me.

(Hated jo jo bows though so maybe I am a bohemian snob after all)

shedwithivy · 02/08/2022 23:02

And I put aperol in the 'seccy'

TiredYorkshireMam · 02/08/2022 23:04

Hardbackwriter · 02/08/2022 19:34

@DarkShade I agree, I think one of the many advantages of privilege is that you just don't have to think about this stuff. People are speaking as people are going around trying to show off that they don't worry about people calling social services on their scruffy child, but if you're solidly middle-class it never crosses your mind that that's a possibility, it's so outside your world.

@Hardbackwriter I think you are right here. But is that widely acknowledged/ accepted as being the case? That social services are mainly involved with families of a lower social class? That just seems so flawed to me.

Dogscanbefallguysforallmannerofthings · 02/08/2022 23:05

Scottishskifun · 02/08/2022 22:49

But the big question still remains.....what is mismatched clothes????

Can’t resist, my inner Grace Kelly has to respond: tartan with tartan, stripes with stripes, spots with spots, often any of the above with each other. Obviously if you know what you’re doing you can get away with it.

For this reason I buy only plain stuff for my ds. Can’t help myself & can’t shake off my mum (see my above post).

Scottishskifun · 02/08/2022 23:06

shedwithivy · 02/08/2022 23:02

And I put aperol in the 'seccy'

Who doesn't love a aperol spritz!

Scottishskifun · 02/08/2022 23:12

Dogscanbefallguysforallmannerofthings · 02/08/2022 23:05

Can’t resist, my inner Grace Kelly has to respond: tartan with tartan, stripes with stripes, spots with spots, often any of the above with each other. Obviously if you know what you’re doing you can get away with it.

For this reason I buy only plain stuff for my ds. Can’t help myself & can’t shake off my mum (see my above post).

Show quote history

Thank you never knew that!

😂 my child is definitely a mismatched scruff then he wears dinousaurs trousers with a bright jungle t-shirt or car trousers with a zebra top. But he picks what he wants to wear as long as its not shorts when its snowing then I don't see the problem.

apintortwo · 02/08/2022 23:12

But the big question still remains.....what is mismatched clothes????

I think it's a case of 'you'll know it when you see it'

These kids are one step away from being dressed in rags (so that their parents can make a point)

TheYearOfSmallThings · 02/08/2022 23:13

I'm sure you could manage to comb her hair as well as all those other things...

But she is finding time NOT to comb her daughter's hair, because if she did she might be mistaken for the sort of person who combs and styles her daughter's hair neatly with bows. It is not accidental but carefully judged.

Itdoesntreallymatter · 02/08/2022 23:15

TartanGirl1 · 02/08/2022 18:17

This is the funniest thing I have read to date on MN!

If this is real get a grip!

There have been some appalling ideas and stereotypes floated around on here lately. Either the people posting have gone nuts or there are lots of bots about due to the leadership contest/cost of living crisis. Probably the latter.

You tend to get a lot of divisive stuff posted on here when there is some kind of political agenda or diversion tactics are needed. There are lots of posters with user123456 etc and new names which is a bit fishy. It's excruciating watching genuine people bite, but satisfying when they all call the OP and other bots out for being a twat and being divisive.