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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you be offended if a hairdresser said this?

140 replies

Comorg · 02/08/2022 14:53

You have a lot of dandruff.

I was mortified. It’s not something I’ve ever noticed or had said to me by people I know or other hairdressers.

Even if it’s true did it really need commenting on?

OP posts:
TeapotTitties · 02/08/2022 16:04

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 02/08/2022 15:49

I seem to be going against the grain here, but I think it was unecessary to point it out. You're a grown-ass woman, you know if you have dandruff or not. I had a similarly unhelpful comment recently when the receptionist at the hairdressers, who isn't actually a hairdresser, who helps out sometimes, commented on my hairloss. Yes, I know. I was aware of it before you so helpfully told me Hmm

I seem to be going against the grain here, but I think it was unecessary to point it out. You're a grown-ass woman, you know if you have dandruff or not.

Except she didn't know.

gnilliwdog · 02/08/2022 16:05

@SpongeBobJudgeyPants sorry, can't imagine why they would

Spanielsarepainless · 02/08/2022 16:06

Mine identified a serious problem causing hair loss, which ended up with a hospital appointment and topical steroids, so I would be asking for advice!

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 02/08/2022 16:07

No not at all as it is her job to tell you things about the condition of your hair. I have very dry scalp and it has improved sooo much not dry at all because I stopped using hairdresser hair dye and bring in my Naturtint dye which they put in which does not have chemicals in it.

MigsandTiggs · 02/08/2022 16:08

"it is part of a hairdressers job to assess the hair and scalp, to either diagnose simple things such as head lice, alopecia and dandruff, or refer on for things beyond their remit such as ring worm and cysts."
A friend's hairdresser pointed out a spot on her head that she felt needed a doctor's opinion. The doctor sent my friend for tests and it turned out that she had developed Type 2 diabetes!!

rightonthyme · 02/08/2022 16:11

I'd probably pause for a sec (maybe feel a bit :/ for a moment), then put it down to it being his job. A hairdresser (who was incredibly skilful with my thick curly hair) said very bluntly that my current style didn't suit my rounded face. I took it as complete honesty which was informed by him knowing his stuff, and him wanting me to look and feel better. Plus if it's dandruff rather than dry skin, you will probably need a proper treatment which could save you misery down the line.

Forestgate · 02/08/2022 16:14

Better the hairdresser than someone else. It's their job so think it would be worse if didn't say anything. As long as they offered advice on how to tackle it too I think it's probably the best outcome to have someone draw it to your attention

JumpTheGun · 02/08/2022 16:16

I hear you OP! I went to the hairdresser once when was suffering with a scalp issue and the hairdresser made me feel awful - pointed it out, made a face and made it quite clear she didn’t want to be anywhere near me, let alone cutting my hair.

I would have been fine if someone had pointed it out sensitively!

whatsup00 · 02/08/2022 16:20

Dandruff has some kind of stigma about it but it shouldn't. It's just a condition. I hope the hairdresser helps you to get it sorted out. It can be treated.

whatsup00 · 02/08/2022 16:24

Like someone else said, it can be from not rinsing products out properly.

Wetblanket78 · 02/08/2022 16:27

It's they're job one mentioned to me I had a dry scalp which I knew. She gave advice on the best hair products to use and I appreciated the help.

FayeGovan · 02/08/2022 16:30

How can anyone not notice if they have lots of dandruff 🤷‍♀️

mam0918 · 02/08/2022 16:31

I dont know, Id be irratated too - Im not paying them to point out my flaws.

My scalp has flutuated between dry and greasy due to being on and off steroids the last year (it will be super greesy then super dry the next month) and I am perfectly aware my hair is shit and unmanagable I dont need it pointing out on my dime.

She is not a medical profesional who is going to magically fix the side effects doctors havent managed too fix, she is just trying to sell shampoo.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 02/08/2022 16:35

Not all dandruff is just ‘dry scalp’ by the way. One type is caused by something I can’t recall, but you used to have to get something called Selsun from a chemist to treat it. I don’t know what the current equivalent is, though.

Bb16103 · 02/08/2022 16:35

Not rude as such, but not particularly helpful if she didn’t follow up with any advice on how to manage it!

mam0918 · 02/08/2022 16:36

I mean lets flip it and say you go into a hot new health resteraunt for dinner, you dont expect the chef to declare 'wow your carrying a lot of fat... I recommend the low calorie salad' even if its a 'fact' and his advice is 'somewhat correct'.

In fact a fully qualified chef is likely qualified in diet & nutrition than a hairdresser is in prescribing fixes to dermitological issues.

Alwayswonderedwhy · 02/08/2022 16:39

No I wouldn't be offended. I be very grateful in the unlikely event that I'd not noticed myself so I could treat it.
My hairdresser noticed my son had a scalp condition when we thought it was just dry skin.

gnilliwdog · 02/08/2022 16:46

mam0918 · 02/08/2022 16:36

I mean lets flip it and say you go into a hot new health resteraunt for dinner, you dont expect the chef to declare 'wow your carrying a lot of fat... I recommend the low calorie salad' even if its a 'fact' and his advice is 'somewhat correct'.

In fact a fully qualified chef is likely qualified in diet & nutrition than a hairdresser is in prescribing fixes to dermitological issues.

I like this. Imagine you go for a leg wax and the beautician announces 'you're really hairy,' to the whole salon! Or you go to the chiropodist and they announce in the waiting room that you have really bad bunions, athlete's foot, whatever.

BlackSwan · 02/08/2022 16:49

At the hairdresser once I heard the woman next to me ask the hairdresser what % of her hair was white... (indicating first she thought it wasn't too much) he said "I'd say 70%". She tried to take it in her stride, but it was clear she was a little taken aback. I kept my eyes forward...

FangsForTheMemory · 02/08/2022 16:50

Well your hairdresser's in a position to know what normal dandruff is like and what more than usual is like, he'll have seen the full range whereas you wouldn't expect to know yourself. I wouldn't be offended, I'd be asking what I should do about it.

TeapotTitties · 02/08/2022 16:52

I like this. Imagine you go for a leg wax and the beautician announces 'you're really hairy,' to the whole salon! Or you go to the chiropodist and they announce in the waiting room that you have really bad bunions, athlete's foot, whatever.

How is that in any way comparable to the OP's situation?

She hasn't said the hairdresser said it in front of anyone else, or that it was 'announced' in any way.

gnilliwdog · 02/08/2022 16:56

@TeapotTitties I was assuming it was in a typical open salon, do you think it was a private haircut in her home, then? That would be different, although I think it could still be framed more sensitively than just a statement.

CallMeWaityKaty · 02/08/2022 16:56

No, they should offer ideas of treatment or say see a dr if it's bad.

Whataretheodds · 02/08/2022 16:59

Wouldn't be offended. If i didn't already know I'd be relieved they'd told me. I'd ask their advice on how to treat it.

Hannah8514 · 02/08/2022 17:00

I think it depends HOW she said it. If she pointed it out and then suggested something to help that's ok, but if she just commented on it and you felt it was in a more judgy way then I get it. I hate going to the hairdressers because I find that some of them can make comments that come across in the wrong way. But at the same time like others have said, it's her job and if she's trying to be helpful then great.