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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you be offended if a hairdresser said this?

140 replies

Comorg · 02/08/2022 14:53

You have a lot of dandruff.

I was mortified. It’s not something I’ve ever noticed or had said to me by people I know or other hairdressers.

Even if it’s true did it really need commenting on?

OP posts:
Isthislife · 02/08/2022 15:07

Depends how she said it. If it was, discrete, factual and aimed at helping you resolve it then it's not offensive.

TheGraceFace · 02/08/2022 15:07

She’s done you a favour, now you can get some Head & Shoulders & get rid of it or at least keep it under control. If there’s a lot it’s probably quite visible on your clothes too, always check yourself over.

dudsville · 02/08/2022 15:08

I agree with the others. I wouldn't be offended. I might be embarrassed but what an opportunity to get some guidance from a hairdresser's perspective.

WTF475878237NC · 02/08/2022 15:08

She'd be incredibly useless if she didn't mention it. It's her job!

Your scalp is looking a bit dry is not the same to the PP who wanted fluff. Some people need things said very directly.

Simonjt · 02/08/2022 15:08

Its his or her job to take note on your scalp health, part of that is letting clients know their observations.

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 02/08/2022 15:11

Tone and context is important here.

If it was you have a lot of dandruff, what shampoo are you using, can I recommend.... then it's fine

If it was Just the statement with a sneery or yuck vibe then it's not very professional.

dontgobaconmyheart · 02/08/2022 15:12

I'd be embarrassed I think. Whether I was offended would depend on the tone it was delivered or whether it was for any reason (to then offer advice, say). If not I can't see what the point of the comment is.

SirenSays · 02/08/2022 15:13

SteveHarringtonsChestHair · 02/08/2022 15:01

I would hope my hairdresser might say it slightly more tactfully - “oh your scalp is looking a bit dry, would you like me to use moisturising mask?” or something, rather than “you have a LOT of dandruff”!!

This. If she's not offering to do anything about it then it seems unnecessary to point out.

Original poster
Comorg · 02/08/2022 15:14

Dotjones · 02/08/2022 15:00

It's her job. Would you be offended if she said you had dry hair and she suggested using hair products aimed at that?

Why’s everyone saying it’s HER job. It was a man who said it.

OP posts:
Antigonesaunt · 02/08/2022 15:14

No. I wouldn't be unhappy if a nail tech commented on my toe nail fungus or athletes foot or verruca, or if a eyelash tech told me I had a sty or an eye infection, and dandruff is nothing embarrassing or infectious unlike that lot!

Some people have very little awareness of what's going on in their own hair or on their own scalp, and it is part of a hairdressers job to assess the hair and scalp, to either diagnose simple things such as head lice, alopecia and dandruff, or refer on for things beyond their remit such as ring worm and cysts.

MintJulia · 02/08/2022 15:14

No, of course not.

The hairdresser is a professional who has provided advice about the health of your scalp. I hope they also suggested how it could be improved.

You wouldn't be offended if a mechanic pointed out that your tyres were bald or a dentist pointed out that you had severe plaque on one tooth. It's their job.

Listen to your hairdresser's advice, you pay them to help you achieve glossy healthy hair.

Plumtreebob · 02/08/2022 15:16

Comorg · 02/08/2022 15:14

Why’s everyone saying it’s HER job. It was a man who said it.

Show quote history

Is that all you’ve taken from everyone’s replies?!

Probably because for a lot of people their hairdresser is a women.

whatinthenameofhen · 02/08/2022 15:16

Maybe she thought she could help?
Depends on the tone I guess. I would assume it was meant in a helpful way.

Turnthatoff · 02/08/2022 15:17

Mine told me I had nits once. That’s worse.

SuperCamp · 02/08/2022 15:18

No, I would ask her advice.

catandcoffee · 02/08/2022 15:19

Comorg · 02/08/2022 15:14

Why’s everyone saying it’s HER job. It was a man who said it.

Show quote history

Does it make a difference being male sex .....he is still a hairdresser.
Did he advise you on treatment ?
Of course they need to say something and hopefully offer a treatment.

SuperCamp · 02/08/2022 15:20

Comorg · 02/08/2022 15:14

Why’s everyone saying it’s HER job. It was a man who said it.

Show quote history

My hairdresser is a woman so I answered as if my hairdresser had said it to me.

VaccineSticker · 02/08/2022 15:20

How old are you 14? 😂
Whether it is a male or female hairdresser, it’s literally their job to make sure your scalp and hair are healthy and give you a good hair treatment and the look you desire.
Get over it.

gnilliwdog · 02/08/2022 15:20

It's probably better to know, even if rather tactlessly delivered! I don't use hairdressers anymore, after years of them uttering 'your hair is so fine,' in despairing tones, like I hadn't heard it every time I went to the hairdresser and felt more and more depressed by it! They never had any helpful advice, just expensive shampoos that did nothing. I cut my own hair now, and rather like it in a flyaway style. Hairdressers never achieved that because they would slather it with products that made my hair like a helmet instead. Try anti dandruff shampoo, make sure it isn't eczema and don't use the hairdressers if they make you feel crappy.

TheLoftHatch · 02/08/2022 15:21

Everyone's assuming the hairdresser was a woman! 😂

But no, if it's true, it wouldn't offend me. I'd want to know so that I could do something about it.

saveforthat · 02/08/2022 15:21

I wouldn't be offended no. A hairdresser once said to me "You have nice hair but your eyebrows are too light". That did annoy me because she was trying to sell extra services and I like my eyebrows being light thanks very much.

Comefromaway · 02/08/2022 15:23

A hairdresser once told me that and asked if I was using a certain type of shampoo. It turned out that I was and that it was causing the problem as I have a very sensitive scalp.

georgarina · 02/08/2022 15:23

I would expect the person to say it much more tactfully and with the aim of helping fix it rather than just pointing it out. Especially when the salon is full of other people.

Bunnynames101 · 02/08/2022 15:26

No more rude than telling me to get a mole in my hair checked. Which mine has done previously, I thanked her and got a dermatology referral through my GP.

We can't get up close and see the condition of our own scalp. Be thankful you have a hair stylist confident enough to tell you. It's their job.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 02/08/2022 15:28

Not if was said like that.

If it was said something like this...

"Jesus Christ, come and look at this Glor! Bring your phone and get a picture. It's a real corker for our Wall of Horror. You too, missus, come and have a look, if Father Christmas was here you'd think you were at the North Pole."