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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you be offended if a hairdresser said this?

140 replies

Comorg · 02/08/2022 14:53

You have a lot of dandruff.

I was mortified. It’s not something I’ve ever noticed or had said to me by people I know or other hairdressers.

Even if it’s true did it really need commenting on?

OP posts:
excelledyourself · 02/08/2022 15:28

Well, I'd definitely rather know, so I might be a little embarrassed, but I'd be grateful she had told me. Certainly not offended.

DorothyZbornakIsAQueen · 02/08/2022 15:32

Why’s everyone saying it’s HER job. It was a man who said it

An extremely important point OP 😏

You asked if YABU being offended that a hair professional told you you had dandruff.

Overwhelming majority said they would want to know and ask the hairdresser for their professional advice.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 02/08/2022 15:34

I wouldn't be offended no.

But I would ask if she thought it was a dry scalp or dandruff. There's a difference.

gnilliwdog · 02/08/2022 15:34

Does depend how it was said -you don't pay for a haircut just to feel bad about yourself. More context needed OP! Did they give advice, offer to sell you a product, said loudly, said with a smile or a sneer...

Original poster
Comorg · 02/08/2022 15:36

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 02/08/2022 15:11

Tone and context is important here.

If it was you have a lot of dandruff, what shampoo are you using, can I recommend.... then it's fine

If it was Just the statement with a sneery or yuck vibe then it's not very professional.

Definitely just a statement

OP posts:
Hallamus · 02/08/2022 15:37

Yeah, I would, definitely. She's a hairdresser, not a dermatologist, and even if she felt a professional need to comment on it, there are a LOT of more professional ways to say it than that.

georgarina · 02/08/2022 15:37

Depends how it was said and why, as a sensitive subject for help or just a rude comment. A doctor's job is to point out a high BMI and how to help but you'd be offended if they said "You're really fat"

Hallamus · 02/08/2022 15:38

Oh, sorry, he!

TeapotTitties · 02/08/2022 15:41

Even if it’s true did it really need commenting on?

Well yes, that's a hairdresser's job 😂

Would you be offended if your dentist commented on the condition of your teeth?

mrsbitaly · 02/08/2022 15:41

OK yes I would have been embarrassed and I know because I have a dry scalp and I warn them in advance.

On the flipside you were not aware so he has done you a favour letting you know when others haven't. It's not a big deal maybe your not washing shampoos ect out of your scalp properly or maybe you have a dry scalp both are easily remedied. I completely get tone is absolutely everything and if he said it in a way that was offensive rather than offering a solution and advice then no it's absolutely not on.

liveforsummer · 02/08/2022 15:47

Why’s everyone saying it’s HER job. It was a man who said it.

Well it's HIS job then. Should the responses be different based on the fact the hairdresser is male? People will be responding based on their own hairdresser I imagine.

Hairdressers will talk matter of factly and make statements about hair the same as a beautician will about whatever body part they are treating or any other professional dealing with the human body. He opened the opportunity for you to ask for advice if you wanted it. He won't have thought anything of saying so as it will be a common situation for him and likely wouldn't realise you could he offended about it. As a pp said it's not even anything potentially embarrassing or contagious such as an infection or nits etc

BellePeppa · 02/08/2022 15:48

Well that’s a hell of a lot better than what my hairdresser told me some years ago. I’d just come out of a longish stint in hospital and thought I’d get my hair cut. She told me I had nits!! Imagine that mortification😬

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 02/08/2022 15:49

I seem to be going against the grain here, but I think it was unecessary to point it out. You're a grown-ass woman, you know if you have dandruff or not. I had a similarly unhelpful comment recently when the receptionist at the hairdressers, who isn't actually a hairdresser, who helps out sometimes, commented on my hairloss. Yes, I know. I was aware of it before you so helpfully told me Hmm

liveforsummer · 02/08/2022 15:50

SteveHarringtonsChestHair · 02/08/2022 15:01

I would hope my hairdresser might say it slightly more tactfully - “oh your scalp is looking a bit dry, would you like me to use moisturising mask?” or something, rather than “you have a LOT of dandruff”!!

But those can be 2 different things so could be inaccurate or an outright lie

calmlakes · 02/08/2022 15:51

A hairdresser is likely to comment on the state of your hair.
That is surely part of their job.

NiqueNique · 02/08/2022 15:51

God people really are precious these days.

WeneedtotalkaboutBrunobaby · 02/08/2022 15:52

I’d prefer them to tell me and offer solutions.

Id also like if they told me if my hair was greying at the back if I was unaware of this.

Their job is to make my hair look better.

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 02/08/2022 15:52

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 02/08/2022 15:49

I seem to be going against the grain here, but I think it was unecessary to point it out. You're a grown-ass woman, you know if you have dandruff or not. I had a similarly unhelpful comment recently when the receptionist at the hairdressers, who isn't actually a hairdresser, who helps out sometimes, commented on my hairloss. Yes, I know. I was aware of it before you so helpfully told me Hmm

Actually clearly OP doesn't know, as she put in her opening post.

Superbabe64 · 02/08/2022 15:54

No I'd be glad they pointed it out. Did you ask 'him' how to best treat and get rid of it?

Googlecanthelpme · 02/08/2022 15:54

Well maybe I’d have preferred her to say “oh you have quite a dry / oily scalp and it’s causing a lot of dandruff “

Just to soften the embarrassment of having what is considered a socially unacceptable condition!

but I wouldn’t necessarily be offended no, totally depends. If they said it matter of fact and then offered advice, that’s fine. If they made the comment then never mentioned it again then I might be perplexed.

2bazookas · 02/08/2022 15:59

OF COURSE it's the hairdresser's job to notice condition, inform and advise the client . Just like a dentist does.

TheOrigRights · 02/08/2022 16:02

Turnthatoff · 02/08/2022 15:17

Mine told me I had nits once. That’s worse.

Same! It was about 2 weeks before I was travelling to India with my 7 yo son. My now ex DH had gone already so it was just me and DS at home trying to get everything organised for the 3 month trip.
Getting my hair cut and coloured was meant to be a lovely treat for me before we left, and instead I ended up going home, treating DS and myself and not even getting new hair.

Pffff

PearlclutchersInc · 02/08/2022 16:03

Its her job isn't it - personally, if it were me, I'd like some advice.

IncompleteSenten · 02/08/2022 16:03

Not at all.
I'd expect them to give me advice on the best products to treat it

gnilliwdog · 02/08/2022 16:04

@SpongeBobJudgeyPants I think that is pretty shit for a receptionist to point that out in a public environment. Can't imagine they would - they aren't cutting your hair!