New neighbours complaining that our kids are distressing their dog

[InYerFace]

New neighbours (a couple, late 40s so similar age to us, but no kids) came around last night to complain that the sound of our teen boys playing in the garden was upsetting their dog who is a rescue, very nervous and reactive to sound.

I'm really torn on what to do. I'm sympathetic to their situation and I really don't want to fall out with them. I know the dog has problems because it barks at us from his side of the fence whenever we go out in the garden. When they came round to complain they brought the dog with them to show us what it's like - the woman had it in her arms and it spent the whole time growling and baring its teeth.

The kids had two friends over yesterday and they were playing basketball. My dilemma is that while I'm sympathetic, I don't think the noise they were making was excessive - no screaming, no music blaring, just the sound of kids playing in the garden. The ball doesn't thud loudly on the floor as the garden is grass with no paving or decking so its muffled, but it does clatter when it hits the hoop.

I get that the clatter would be annoying after a while, but I wouldn't say it was any more annoying than the noise of their dog barking at us through the fence and I wouldn't dream of complaining about that. It's just part and parcel of life.

Last set of neighbours never complained about the kids playing, but they did have grandkids of their own who came regularly and made a fair bit of noise so they were probably as immune to the noise of kids playing as we are!

They also said they were worried that the ball would come over and hit their dog, even though it didn't.

I've told the kids they're not to play basketball anymore to keep neighbourly relations cordial, but it is a shame as they absolutely love it and it will probably mean they're just inside playing X Box.

The problem is is that because they're teens, most of the games they'd want to play in the garden do involve some kind of ball. Do I just resign myself to a summer of them sat inside? We do have a local park but it's quite some distance away and seems a shame they can't use their own garden.

Your garden your rules!

Let them play outside it's much better than being stuck inside as you know. You don't need neighbours permission or to give timings etc just let the kids do as they please going in/ out.

I love dogs and thoroughly approve of people having rescue ones. But they need to train and manage and handle it appropriately rather than trying to get people to tiptoe round it.

Screw that! I have a dog and young children (a quiet, well trained dog, can't say as much for the kids but they're kids) and my neighbours have 3 horrible dogs that bark non stop and scratch at the fence if we go out in the garden. Do I stop in? Nope. Do I tell my kids to be quiet? Nope.

If their dog gets distressed then they need to be responsible owners and take the dog in not demand that neighbours conform to their unreasonable requests to pander to their dog. They're batshit.

I agree with MaChienEstUnDick. In the interim, could you ask if there is a good time for them to play - when they take the dog for a walk, and suggest you'll work with them on this while they work with the dog to hopefully make them less nervous?

Sorry but f*ck that. Your kids your garden, they are not being overtly loud just kids having fun during summer. DO NOT CAVE as it will be demand after demand after this

100% this. We live in a world full of people. Noise is to be expected. I can't actually believe they've had the cheek to even ask this! Also, I'd be telling your kids to get back out in the garden, it's the summer holidays! As long as they're not being excessively noisy, like you said, there's absolutely no harm in what they've been doing. New neighbours need to suck it up, and the dog will eventually get used to it too! They're behaving like pfb parents tbh!!!

I'm sympathetic but my kids would still be out in the garden. The dog will have to get used to it and it won't be long before the weather turns and they'll be stuck inside again

They have behaved outrageously. If their dog doesn't like the reasonable, ordinary sounds of what's going on outside, they need to bring the dog inside.

If you bow to their demands this time, who knows what they will try to demand next time.

Unfortunately (for them) if you choose to live where you have neighbours, you've got to expect some noise. They should be grateful that your DC aren't really young because there's usually far more noise (especially with trampolines etc). You should all be able to use and enjoy your gardens (as long as it's not excessive screaming and shouting).

How ridiculous! They are making you feel uncomfortable in your own garden because their dog has issues. Maybe they need to get some help with their dog rather than telling you to tell your kids to be quiet. You can't stop kids being kids. I would be so pissed off

You don't need to do anything - your neighbour should give their dog a treat everytime your children make a noise - it won't take long for the dog to look to them everytime it hears a noise.

Tell them to bugger off. We have a neighbours who spent entire lockdown partying till 4 am the had nerve to knock our door one day cause he could hear our TV one night. Cannot stand entitled neighbours

Fuck that OP!

Absolutely no way should you be stopping them from playing, your neighbours are being massively unreasonable imo

The health and well being of your boys trumps the dog.

Playing basketball in their own back garden is completely reasonable. When they are out, your neighbors can keep their dog in. Presumably, your boys are only playing basketball a few hours a day, due to school, studying etc.

Having read your post OP I would say that it's your neighbour's dog that needs training (and keeping indoors) rather than putting you in the position of having to keep your children inside. I think she's being really cheeky with this request tbh.
If I was you I would just continue as before.

Offer to work with them so that they can train their dog to be less reactive - I have had friends come round to help socialize or train my dog on specific issues where I cant manage it by myself and it has been very helpful. Say you would also be ready to work with them if they want to do Dogs Behaving Very Badly. But no, you cannot commit to not using your garden at all for ever.

What on earth? No way should their precious dog take priority. Ignore them OP. Let your kids be kids and play outside! Your neighbours are being ridiculous.

Sorry OP I am going to be a bit vulgar as I can;t think of a nice way to put this.Whilst its admirable you are so open to compromise they are batshit mental fuck em ...pillocks they are.

Don’t ban your children from playing in the garden. They are not making unreasonable noise and any council would agree. The problem with your neighbours is not the dog but they themselves. By cuddling a scared and aggressive dog they are rewarding it for being scared and aggressive. They need to watch some tv programs with some of the excellent dog trainers—this is one of the main lessons that inept dog owners need to grasp—don’t reward your dog for undesirable behaviour.

3 hours playing outside is NOT excessive. It’s healthy and fun.

I am a dog owner and let them bring the dog in for a few hours to relax if nervous as has to be a compromise. Let your kids play in garden but not from early to late as the constant noise of basketball hoop drives a person demented. Talk to her and say they will be out there a few hours and let her keep her dog inside during that time. Her dog needs to be muzzled if vicious also so point that out to her also.

My dog never barks at anyone and looks next door strangely when their 2 dogs bark if we are outside. When she does the odd bark as swear only heard her bark a handful of times and have her 5 years now she sounds soo manly with her bark that we laugh. If her dog keeps barking that is for her to sort out also as drives a person mad so you both have to compromise as not worth falling out with neighbours over. Could they bring hoop and play safely with it out the front but then guess be more neighbours complaining about their cars.

They need to train that dog.

Don’t tell your children to not play basketball.

The dog needs to stop barking constantly too, how annoying and then the cheek to tell you to stop your children plying in their own garden? WOW.

I think that unless you take a stand now and remind them that their dog’s behaviour is entirely their own responsibility, then they will control the entire narrative with you and your kids. Guarantee they will find something else to complain about. I would be very clear that your kids are entitled to play, and even let them know that the council is very proactive when it comes to noise complaints about dogs.

My dog is reactive to noise and barks excessively at anything really. The neighbours often experience the wrath of my dog when they’re merely enjoying their own space. Instead of expecting them not to set my angry little furball off on one of its regular tangents, I take the dog indoors and spare my neighbours the annoyance of listening to constant barking. The problem is the dog, not your children. Let them play, it’s the school holidays after-all.