The Guardian: A sex worker gave my autistic son the gift of confidence – and I organised the encounter

[YouAreNotBatman]

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2022/jul/30/a-sex-worker-gave-my-autistic-son-the-gift-of-confidence-and-i-organised-the-encounter#comments

Look at the comments, everyone saying she’s a lovely and a good mother.

I’m so tired of this.
Sex works is real work, have OF, be kinky - or you’re a prude, porn porn and even more porn, poor innocent men - they have to have sex with a woman or else….

Hiw can anyone think this is progressive?

Why was that the solution instead of him just masturbating?

At 17, no not appropriate he's legally a child. He's autistic? Well plenty of autistic people have relationships and marry. They tend to be a little slow off the block in my experience. My dd has a boyfriend now but was 21 before she had a relationship, dsd hasn't had a relationship yet.

For those with severe complex physical disabilities I'm more sympathetic to but never under 18, 21 really

Grim, all of it, the encounter, that it can be written into ndis funds and the mother for arranging it.

so my aunt paid for him to have sex with a sex worker . I don’t know if this is ongoing . He’ll never be able to live alone.

If it was a one off cure then I get why people might do it but surely the urges will just come back in a few days time so has it actually done any good.

In the article it’s even worse because he is ‘high functioning’ and can potentially get a gf but showing him this is normal is going to confuse him and it obviously already has as he’s saving up for it again - so actually has it made his urges worse.

If your cousin had been female, she wouldn't have done this.

MEN DON'T NEED SEX

@bellac11 so you're suggesting that disabled people should just masturabate. They don't deserve a sex life or sexual experience?? How delightful.

Actually that thing about the cousin of the poster above really is quite concerning, Im guessing that he might not have capacity?

@bellac11 could you be anymore derogatory ??

I didnt suggest that 'disabled people' should just masturbate.

He can have a sex life or sexual experience, either on his own or with someone who can consent to that.

There is concern that sex workers are not really consenting of their own free will, so thats a concern

My suggestion to someone who hasnt got a relationship with someone, to manage their sexual feelings was to masturbate yes.

What do you mean by 'deserve'?

Everyone who can't get consenting sex should do exactly that. Regardless of disability or not, no one is owed or guaranteed sex in life.

I definitely don't think facilitating sex between two vulnerable people who couldn't fully consent is something to boast about in a national newspaper. It seems exploitative at many levels. I would rather my autistic child died a virgin than pay a sex worker for them. It's baffling really (but not surprising at the same time )

Everyone who can't get consenting sex should do exactly that. Regardless of disability or not, no one is owed or guaranteed sex in life.

And we wonder why there are so many rapists and Incels because even some women believe that men need sex.

I wonder if they’d think the same of their female children.

Exactly, its crazy and when its challenged out comes all the name calling, either being derogatory or disablist.

The whole glamorisation + normalisation of sex work grinds my gears.

I graduated from university not too long ago and there is an increasing number of people (especially young men) who now view all women as potential sex workers. Being told that sex work is an option when you are job hunting, reading advice on how you can do sex work instead of going to uni as you can make 'millions' there, hearing 'empowering' stories about how you should capitalise on your body when you're 18.

There was a quote that plagued so many discord servers and was meme'd to hell and back a while back: 'Men make money from tech/finance, women make money from Only Fans.'

If you can't see how that's problematic I seriously doubt we'd ever see eye to eye.

To glamorise/normalise sex work is to glamorise/normalise the objectification of women. But of course, someone will be here soon enough to tell me that I'm just being prudish/puritanical/jealous/insecure/stupid.

Well I'm here to tell you I agree 100%.

Incel alert !!!!!

Why assume disabled people aren't likely to have sex? I have a non disabled friend, aged 40ish hasn't had sex in 20 years. I have a friend with autism( fairly severe, lives at home with parents at 50 as unable to manage life admin etc ,attended special school etc ) who has had a fair bit of sex in the last few years ... Meets people at socials , work etc. It's not just disabled people who have difficulty finding sex and settle with masturbation !

Gah, quoted wrong person. I agree with the post I accidentally quoted.

You asked why your posts were considered discriminatory, I gave you examples of why they came across as discriminatory. I fundamentally agree with your underlying points, but the language you are using (calling a person by their disability, not referring to people themselves) is what comes across as ableist. I think that point got lost in this conversation.

I mean I've explained my point to you repeatedly now. And you have stated you disagree with it, fair enough. I'm not convinced there is any point repeating it again despite your asking, but here goes:

You believe that if women are offering to provide sex for money its okay to teach your sons women can be bought. I think your bar is very low.

I'm pretty sure we are done here, but by all means if you need to ask me what my point is again....

@FlissyPaps grow up

In fact actually @CallOnMe I've re read the posts and I don't think my point has got lost. You just cherry picked part of my post to reply to me ignoring all of the bits where I was pointing out your ableist language.

Your comment screamed incel.

I think the one thing we should all be able to agree on, is that we can stop using the phrase "the urges" 🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮

Seconded @namechange7654