The Guardian: A sex worker gave my autistic son the gift of confidence – and I organised the encounter

[YouAreNotBatman]

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2022/jul/30/a-sex-worker-gave-my-autistic-son-the-gift-of-confidence-and-i-organised-the-encounter#comments

Look at the comments, everyone saying she’s a lovely and a good mother.

I’m so tired of this.
Sex works is real work, have OF, be kinky - or you’re a prude, porn porn and even more porn, poor innocent men - they have to have sex with a woman or else….

Hiw can anyone think this is progressive?

@lollipoprainbow

How do you know?

Most paid for sex will be without true consent

I have the same concern. Even if she’s not getting a thrill out of it, she’s still ticking off a list of what she thinks her son should be doing. She’s not accepting him for who he is. She’s pressured him into sex. It’s like he’s her puppet. Sickening article.

It might not be rape but its pretty fucking rapey

What I find 'abhorrent' are the implications that her son is a rapist and an incel. I'd be tempted to sue if I was her and see these shitty comments.

Jesus I can't believe someone's just drawn a comparison between a disabled person needing intimate care with hygiene and a bloke seeing a prostitute. I thought this site was intelligent once upon a time. That's just batshit.

There was a documentary on TV a few years ago about this, not sure if it's the same family?
I think it's horrid. I actually think I'd class it as abuse. Why is the mother so over-invested in the son's sex life anyway? Support him in meeting women & getting a girlfriend sure, but buying sex for him - absolutely abhorrent.

Disgusting!

Didn't one of the Loose Women brag about doing the same a while back? I thought it was sickening then.

It might not be rape but its pretty fucking rapey.

You could argue that the young man couldn’t and didn’t give his consent so he was at best coerced into it.

This isn’t a boy who is never going to get a gf like some people with SEND, he’s just struggling to get one because he struggles socially (like many of us do).

So where is the line drawn - this young man is capable of living a normal life, he just happens to have autism.

So what if you have a son that’s just ugly or has an awful personality - does that mean they should pay for sex too?

She claims it’s because she doesn’t want him growing up to be an incel or have misogynistic views - but I’m pretty sure paying for sex is going to give him these views.

As a disabled person, I think this thread needs to be taken down. There are so many discriminatory posts on it.

I was 17 when I lost my virginity to my first lovely bf, (I'm female). The best bit of it was doing it together (he was a virgin too) and feel like it was the right time and we loved each other. We lead up to full sex with all the fumbling and snogging you'd expect (and we had both also done with other people before we got together).

I hadn't lost my virginity then my mother definitely would not have marched me to a prostitute to get it over with like virginity in teenagers is a disease and the clock is ticking.

What a gross, gross, mother I hope one day she understands how awful she is.

@blackgreywhite are you autistic ?? Good for you that you found someone to lose your virginity too, not everyone has that.

Ps he's 21 not 17

@lollipoprainbow

Being autistic and unable to find somewhere wants to have sex with you doesn't make it OK to exploit someone into it

No one has the right to sex

@lollipoprainbow what has that got to do with anything?

I could be, I could have a horrible face, or be obese, no teeth, or I could look like a supermodel, whatever - so what?

Hell would still need to freeze over before I would want anyone to pay some to have sex with me.

@blackgreywhite that's your choice isn't it, what does it have to do with you if this young man did what he did ?

Ps he's 21 not 17

Many young people are still virgins at 21 though.
He’s also much younger mentally.

His mum was worried he’d be misogynistic or turn into an incel because of what porn he was watching and that a high number of Incels are also autistic.

So he can watch porn, drive a car and use public transport but is unable to get a gf or hire a prostitute himself?

Thats BS and there are dating websites especially for people with SEND as many struggle socially.
At the very least his mum could have paid someone to pretend to be his gf for a few weeks.

Here we have a young man who is already starting an obsession into misogynistic behaviour and Incels and also struggles with social norms - paying for a prostitute is literally the worst thing someone like this needs.

His mum is hoping he’ll get a gf in the future but admits that he already wants to pay a prostitute again and is saving up for it - that’s not normal behaviour and he’s going to focus more on paying for sex than he will finding a gf.

And if he does find a gf and she doesn’t want sex right away or doesn’t want it very often, what will happen then?
Either he’s going to pay for sex or he’s going force sex on her.

@lollipoprainbow - in that we both live on the same planet and I care about people and I want a better nicer world I guess.

But please theres no need to tag me, I don't agree with your view and nothing you say on here would ever change my mind on that.

I really think he is.

I can't stand to read the article but that is so grim and her logic is s screwed up that I don't know where to start. I have a teenage son with ASD and this just makes me want to heave. As if the whole thing isn't weird and twisted enough, she then writes articles about it? I think there is something really wrong with her tbf.

He's autistic, his primary care-giver has told him this is OK. He's potentially a victim in this too.

I agree.

And I can’t help feeling that if a dad paid a man to have sex with his daughter because she was too old to be a virgin then he would be charged with something.

my aunt did this for my cousin. He has special needs. It’s hard to describe his ability. For example he can’t read or write & has very unclear speech. But he wanted to get married and doesn’t understand why he can’t have a family . He knows what sex us and has sexual urges.

so my aunt paid for him to have sex with a sex worker . I don’t know if this is ongoing . He’ll never be able to live alone.

It feels like the Guardian is no longer even on nodding terms with women's rights any more, doesn't it?

But he wanted to get married and doesn’t understand why he can’t have a family . He knows what sex us and has sexual urges.

Well sure, but does that mean he has the right to access a woman's body for sex?

Autism or any disability is irrelevant what about people who struggle to make relationships without any disability, hidden or otherwise?