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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

The Ick

161 replies

Ahostofgoldendaffodils · 31/07/2022 11:40

Inspired by an article in today’s Observer, AIBU to think that you just can’t get over ‘The Ick’ even if the other person is practically perfect in every other possible way?
When I was 18, I started seeing a man in his 20s - he was like an alpha male on steroids- muscular, deep voice, powerful. This was the 90s and his double denim look reminded me of a young Bruce Springsteen. He really was gorgeous and I was smitten. But…. every time he got drunk, his voice would go high pitched, I mean, if we were in a nightclub and he was trying to tell me something he’d come close to my ear and suddenly turn into Joe Pasquale. This was THE ICK. This perfect man, gorgeous, masculine, respectful, confident made me cower in horror at his squeak.
He spoke normally 90% of the time and was a great man but I just couldn’t get over the drunken voice and the fact that the day after every night out my ear would throb in pain at his shrillness. So I dumped him. This could have been a beautiful relationship with lots of mini young Springsteens on the horizon with a lavish wedding. I just couldn’t get over it. Was IBU?
But what I really want to know about are your Icks?

OP posts:
CatSeany · 02/08/2022 05:38

Once dated a male doctor who always wore a necklace with the caduceus on it (symbol of medicine - looks a bit like an angel with a line wrapped around it). He was amazing in bed, but refused to take the necklace off, and soon enough it was all I could focus on. I felt utter disgust at his need to wear his necklace ALL the time!

Giraffesandbottoms · 02/08/2022 06:05

I went out with a man who had a bib he wore for all his meals. A fucking bib.

Giraffesandbottoms · 02/08/2022 06:10

@Puffalicious

i find those coats sexy as fuck on men

Vikinga · 02/08/2022 06:23

Unwavering721 · 31/07/2022 14:13

I think the “ick” is your subconscious trying to rationalise why you don’t want to be with someone. Something deep inside knows something isn’t right, but the only way your brain can explain it is assigning it to something banal like voice/clothes etc.

That's interesting.

KeyboardWarriorsUnite · 02/08/2022 06:58

Hmm.

The guy that couldn't stop talking about my breasts.

The guy that had a 'poky' tongue - he would randomly jab it in my mouth, like the mole in 'whack-a-mole'

The guy that asked me to 'pick a star, any star'. So I pointed randomly at a star. Then he said he would be the duller one right next to it.

None of these beat the guy with his sister's photo on the bathroom door though. Wtaf!

Flowersintheattic57 · 02/08/2022 07:07

When he said girls should wash their hands more often because girls are dirtier.
Also he thought him not wearing underwear was cool. Just yuck.

LittleMG · 02/08/2022 07:31

You had me at Bruce Springsteen

Kidsaretryingtodestroyme · 02/08/2022 07:39

‘My "ick" is people using the term "The ick".’

In 100% in agreement. It’s a shit MN only word.

ItsMutinyontheBunty · 02/08/2022 07:52

In my 20s I had a lovely boyfriend, genuinely nice bloke..but every time we were about to kiss he’d say “Mmmm”. No idea why, very off putting!

Met a guy in a night out once. He was funny and quite fit…kept thinking he reminded me of someone…suddenly realised it was Barry Manilow 🤦🏻‍♀️ Couldn’t unsee it, never saw him again.

DoverShortcutPlan · 02/08/2022 07:52

Shaved his WHOLE body and called my breasts 'titties' ..double ick!

SleeplessInEngland · 02/08/2022 07:54

It should be said that the article points out that having the ick is a symptom of your own childish insecurities and nothing to brag about.

Galaxyinmypocket · 02/08/2022 08:36

I've always been put off by people who can't kiss properly (or maybe it's that our kissing styles were not compatible). I was especially put off by one guy that poked his tongue in and out of my mouth quite aggressively 😬

AYearOfCushions · 02/08/2022 08:41

I couldn't get passed his pancake bum.
I would just avoid it mostly but when he'd walk away from the bed naked I'd feel sick.
Poor bloke, he was very nice otherwise.

I also dated a gorgeous Italian man who was like an Adonis whilst living in Italy.
His English wasn't great but I didn't care until the day he tried to communicate to me that he was going to take a shower before we left and said (with hand actions) 'I washhhh my body with the soap'.
Made my excuses after that.

GoPogo · 02/08/2022 08:59

Mine was the first time I saw his erect willy. It was bent like a banana!!
I remember thinking, this is going to go one of two ways....left ovary, right ovary!
I made my excuses and left.
Fortunately he was my only ever bananaman!

lilyboleyn · 02/08/2022 09:16

I’d been seeing a guy for a while, eventually came to sexy time… his penis, when erect, was basically a C shape. I feigned purity (while he was naked on the bed!) and said ‘omg we shouldn’t be doing this yet,’ and he left…

Herejustforthisone · 02/08/2022 09:26

See now, a huge, burly, bearded Scottish man could call me lass any time he liked. Any time.

Also had a pencil-sharpened pointy willy experience. Unfortunately for him, it was also the size and girth of a small pencil. Like an Argos one. He was abusive though, don’t feel too sorry for him.

W00p · 02/08/2022 09:36

I was in my early 20s when met this man on a night out. We were in a European city, so we were walking around and kissing and it was exciting. I met up with him again later and when it came to have sex he pulled out strawberry scented condoms from a corner shop bag, bit of a mood killer but thought I could get over it. After the deed was done, good kisser but bad at sex, he laid down next to me in bed and put on this giant neck brace. Before he fell asleep he asked if I wanted to go swimming in the council swimming pool the next day. I made my excuses and got out of there sharpish.

Blossomandbee · 02/08/2022 09:42

A guy I was seeing very casually, wasn't my really my type he was very slim and I usually like chunky men. But he was ok until I saw him walk round his house in just his boxers... his legs were skeletal, like just bone with no shape at all. He had also insulted me about my weight a few times implying I was fat (I wasn't) so that was the final straw. That and the fact he was a complete snob who sneered at me shopping in normal high street shops as he would only wear designer. He was on a really low income, which is fine, but he was in no position to be a snob and look down on me.

CandyLeBonBon · 02/08/2022 09:55

tiny little sock boats

😂😂😂

CeratopsofthePharoahs · 02/08/2022 09:56

Clammy hands.

Ick.

10HailMarys · 02/08/2022 09:57

SpaceGoatFarm · 02/08/2022 02:20

Yeah I'm afraid people going on about what gives them the ick also gives me the ick. It's like an annoying combination of 'I'm mad me' from people who think they live in a shit 90s US sitcom and stealthy boasting about how much more sophisticated they are.

Also people who like the Mighty Boosh and 6 Music.

You seem nice.

Friffle · 02/08/2022 10:25

Kidsaretryingtodestroyme · 02/08/2022 07:39

‘My "ick" is people using the term "The ick".’

In 100% in agreement. It’s a shit MN only word.

10/10 for originality.

GhostCastle · 02/08/2022 10:28

Smiling down at me like a Cheshire Cat whilst we were having sex. It was very unnerving. Telling me how beautiful and smart I was all the time. Very sweet but it wasn’t true.

BellaLab · 02/08/2022 10:33

I have a few, the guy who lay with his head on my knee and said “stroke my hair and I purr like a cat”. He got up to go to the toilet and returned with his penis hanging out then shouted ‘shaboom’ while swinging it. I asked him to leave my flat…

The perfect male specimen who I’d been dating for 4 months, we decided to take the relationship to the next level but he constantly farted during sex. I dumped him the next day.

The guy who took me to a Chinese buffet place for dinner then proceeded to pick things off the buffet with his fingers, lick them and go back in for more.

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