AIBU to think we could afford private school?

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We have one DS, aged 9. If we were to send him to the private school near us, it would mean that we’d have about £900-£950 per month left after mortgage, school fees, bills and food (I’m budgeting £700 for the latter two). I think it’s doable but DH is worried. What do you think?

DD1’s school fees went up by £12,000 in two years. And all of the exam fees were on top of that. I had to use my savings, there was no other way round it. We hadn’t factored in such a huge hike.

I find it interesting how many people have said it’s too tight. I’ve just looked up the fees for the local prep school. Even the year 6 fees are less than a full time nursery place for a 2 yo. I bet everyone on MN would say we couldn’t afford the prep school but I don’t think people would tell us we can’t afford nursery. The nursery has a uniform too btw.

I think you’d be leaving yourself rather short, OP

What happens when fees go up/you lose your job? Is there really no other state school option. I think you are mad in this economic climate.

She's now a wonderful, amazing teenager with emotional intelligence and empathy for others which makes me proud every day x
Definitely go for it!

For the sake of balance, I work in a state secondary school where I am surrounded by plenty of amazing teenagers with emotional intelligence and empathy.

I am a child of working class parents who went to private school on a scholarship. If my DP's saw this thread they would probably echo the sentiments of previous posters who have reassured the OP that her child will not be singled out, no one cares how much money anyone has, and there is no stigma associated with being working class or on a bursary/scholarship. That's because I tried very hard to shield them from what a miserable experience I was having. I knew they had made immense sacrifices to send me there, even with the scholarship, and I didn't want them to be disappointed. They would also say that there was "no bullying" whereas in reality the bullying was just more insidious, hidden and happened behind closed doors. It was the same with eating disorders, drug use and sexual harassment, all were rife but very much swept under the carpet. Parents had no idea what went on, the staff did but turned a blind eye. Of course, this is just my experience. But I have several friends who had similar experiences at other independent schools and none of us have chosen to send our DC private although we could afford to.

Oh and for those saying private education prevents DC from falling in with the "wrong crowd", I hate to break it to you but of the kids at the comprehensive school where I work who use drugs, almost all of them buy their drugs from students at the private school down the road.

People know that high cost nursery fees are temporary and then they reduce when free hours kick in. People also save for pre-school childcare before they have children. Not to mention that paying for childcare is not optional in most cases! Not remotely the same situation as committing to pay private school fees for a minimum of 7 years.

Surely it's pretty much the same thing but a bit longer? The things you mention apply. The cost is temporary and you save up a bit in advance.

We've been budgeting more carefully recently and our food / household / toiletries bill is usually around £500 a month at the moment so £700 is way too low I think. Council tax is £200 and gas & electric supposed to go up to circa £300 a month

Car insurance / tax / MOT
Birthdays
House insurance
Water
Gas & electric
Council tax
Tv
Sky / Netflix / Spotify

I think you need to do a full budget to see exactly what it would mean and also in a few years with fee increases. He will also eat a lot more / cost a lot more as he gets older!

I use YNAB and it's been a real eye opener as to how little 'disposable' money we actually have.

Not sure I'd consider stretching myself financially for 7 years (at least) to be only "a big longer" than 2. And private education IS optional, unlike childcare.

... not to mention that it's much easier to safe before you have children then when you have children. Particularly if you're trying to save whilst paying pre-school childcare as well.

Presumably most people save before sending their kids to private school as well though. If you have multiple kids you could easily be paying for nursery for 7 years.

Interesting thread OP!
If your DS is yr 4/yr 5 by sending him now you can either get the 11+ISEB prep support for grammar/ independent secondary which some parents feel they need to rely on.

Regarding whether to send him, what schools does your local independent feed to? Have you looked at where children from his current primary school end up fior secondary and are those the same as the destination schools the private school you are interested in? Is the private school a good fit for your sporty/ musical/ sensitive/ dyslexic/ academic / arty etc (delete as appropriate) child? Will he be happy? Has he visited it for him to grasp your vision? As not all fee paying schools are equal and if you are going to reduce your current"extras" to pay fees you need to feel it works for him too.

I'm ashamed to say I was stupidly surprised to read in the news that the mother of poor little 5 yr old Logan went to a private school. This country despite decades of opportunity is still elitist but Private school doesn't always open those doors as some have commented. A lot of a child's measure is the parenting the child grows up with. Nurture despite environment (nature).

If above is all more in the pros for independent school then really it is for you to figure out as only you & your DH know if as a family spontaneous purchases or holidays or rising costs could flip the fees budget to unaffordable.

I would only pay for private school fees. if you can comfortably afford it .

I went to private schools but my Dad being an “actor “ got less work, and our home life become quite stressful and there was a constant underlying pressure how my parents were going to get enough money to pay for the next term fees.
We stopped going on holiday and i remember as a teenager starting to feel very bored during the summer holidays as most of my friends were away for most of the duration of the summer break.

Also, it could have just been my experience of my “bitchy “ all girls school. But it was the richer girls who had the big houses with swimming pools who were the popular girls “

With the cost of food going up. I would feel that your left over food budget is very tight.

Just returning to the thread - lots to read through, thanks.

How likely would we be to get a bursary? Presumably schools must get hundreds of applicants for a very limited number of bursaries, so how do they choose who to give them to?

Look up the individual schools you're interested in and depending on the school it will probably be an entrance exam of some sort.

Yes, they're limited and sought after, but don't let that put you off!