AIBU to think we could afford private school?

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We have one DS, aged 9. If we were to send him to the private school near us, it would mean that we’d have about £900-£950 per month left after mortgage, school fees, bills and food (I’m budgeting £700 for the latter two). I think it’s doable but DH is worried. What do you think?

Not always. Ours isn't and we pay for that separately.

I'd send him to the local school but pay for additional tutoring as a compromise. Would you qualify for a bursary or scholarship because I'd investigate that option too.

This.

plus school extras, a lot in a private school.

No holidays

no car or roof emergency fund.

no medical emergency fund

it is risky

you would have to get your husband on board or it will cause huge resentment

i would

Talk to the school about a bursary. Some schools are better at giving little dollops to a lot of people than full scholarships. And right now they are probably worried about losing people

Can one or both of you earn more?

Can you extend your mortgage by a few years (not more than 5) or take a lump sun off your mortgage and put it away as an emergency fund ?

one way or another, create a buffer. Or alternatively try the state school with tutors and move him at 13 if it isn’t working out

do not sacrifice your pension

do you have income insurance? If not consider it, but check the small print

700 pcm for bills and food is fuck all

And also the best argument for abolishing them. Why should children get the best opportunities because their parents can afford to pay for a private education? (Sorry, make sacrifices for a private education. 🙄). Many people don't have the luxury of wondering if they could afford £1000s a term; they just want to make ends meet.

you want everyone to have the same standards of living? Like…… Communism? 🤔

Well, I’m not sure that works… 🤣

It’s hard to think of a worse time for a couple on a tight budget to opt for private education. We’re right at the beginning of an economic crisis which is likely to tip into recession soon. Inflation is rising and will continue to do so in at least the short to medium term. This is the time to reduce outgoings, not increase them. I’d be terrified if I was married to someone who thought this was a good idea.

Financially, yes.

however - make sure you’re happy with the private school and not just assuming it’s better because you’d be paying.

one of my student teachers brought the scheme of work in for his subject (they were writing one of their assignments about schemes of work) and it literally consisted of 1 side of a4 with a few scribbles on - and a coffee cup ring in the corner for good measure. Definitely not the teacher input I’d be wanting for my own son. And that was a famous, well renowned private school!

Which jobs are those that doors open to through private education? Just interested.

Doable now but will your salary keep up with inflation and fee increases?

Also do a budget with everything- uniform, food, transport etc and all your costs.

would you be ok with taking them out if you list a job or could no longer afford it?

Private school so worth the sacrifices - you child will make great friends for life and will have useful connections because of the private education - also doors tend to open re certain jobs if you are privately educated

i went to private school and didn’t make friends for life. All my good friends I’m still in touch with we’re from university.

which jobs would you say have doors opened due to private school? Is it really the school or the family expectations and connections?

Fantastic advice 👏

My friend did it and she went from 3 days a week to 5 days (full time) and she got a contract with Moonpig to do printing of their cards at night and weekends and her husband did 2 evenings and a Sunday at tesco aswell as his full time job as the fees were high and the uniform was expensive not to mention the text books, after school clubs, music lessons and expectation of parents to attend and support numerous fundraisers.
Her daughter is now going into in year 10 so they've done 4 years of it and she says the thought of doing this another 4 years (including 6th form) is depressing but they don't want to get into debt. She says if her daughter wants to go to university they'll have to keep on doing it so potentially 7-8 years more

I think she's crackers
You can't buy brain cells as my friend who is a teacher says if kids are bright they'll flourish wherever if they aren't overly academic then it's a bit of a waste of money and very stressful for parents who go to these extremes

And budgeting £700 for food and bills!!

No chance the average persons gas and electricity is going to be £3-400 a month without anything else

If you’re asking the question you can’t afford it.

Not all private schools are eton- I went and I’m not mixing in particularly grand circles or sneaking up the ladder through the back door.
To have next to no money left for enjoyment, little to no money to make home improvements, no holidays and no emergency fund - just no. What in a month if you need glasses, that’s £100 down, what if your car needs for 4 new wheels, that’s a near £300+ down, what if your son wants to take 4 kids to Nando’s for his bday etc etc- there’s always something.

950 a month? Not enough. A good private secondary would be about £15k now and go up every year.

We did it on a tight budget but had to extend our mortgage in year 10 as finances overtook us. She was always the poor kid in a rich school and struggled initially but was never bullied and it taught her the real value of things, she appreciates what we sacrificed to put her through school, big house, new cars, big holidays etc and has developed a strong work ethic.
It was worth everything we went without with to give her an excellent single sex education, she had her issues through her teens and I feel she would have drowned her in our local comp. The independent school had exceptional pastoral care.
Given the time again we'd do exactly the same.

I think the suggestion of tutoring perhaps for a subject your DS is less good at (or something such as music or another language) is the better option.

£700 for bills and food is a very low estimate. Have you factored in the cost of living increases?

Also private school fees tend to increase every year, and significantly in secondary school. Do you expect your incomes to grow at the same rate?

It may be possible on your income but it'll be very tight and I wouldn't be happy living that way, having to worry about sudden one time costs (car repairs, boiler repairs, etc).

I think it’s too tight, OP. Have you accounted for trips, books, uniform, school meals, music & sport tuition? Fees also rise, have you included the increases?

I went to private schools and I can safely that's not my experience. It was a total waste of my parents time and money and I wasn't even happy there.

Private school so worth the sacrifices - you child will make great friends for life and will have useful connections because of the private education - also doors tend to open re certain jobs if you are privately educated- I know this as this has happened for my nephew !

I try and stay away from private education threads because this logic makes my blood boil.

Pay now to open doors later based on who you know from school and not on merit to the potential exclusion of a poorer but more capable person. .

Fwiw I'm speaking as someone who can but doesn't pay for my children to attend private school...

Suggesting equality of provision of education for children isn't communism.

Wise words. The fees do go up massively over the years as well as the inflation rise every year never less than 5%.

Start a savings account put that amount of money in from now you'll have a float ahead of time. Until then stay with the primary school.