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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Secret Confessions thread 2

217 replies

ThePoorWeeDonkey · 29/07/2022 01:20

I missed the boat on the first thread and really needed to get this off my chest. Apologies to original op.

I resent my dad for not dying instead of my mother. I absolutely adored her and now just feel negatively towards my father for being the one I'm left with. All of my other siblings/wider family adore him so I have never told anyone this irl, not even my DP.
I know it's disgusting but I'm hoping once my loss is not as fresh I will start to feel differently.

OP posts:
SleepyLittleUnicorn · 30/07/2022 15:07

I want another pregnancy and to give birth again, but i do not another baby.

ParanoidGynodroid · 30/07/2022 15:12

Another here who wants to know what happened to Valley and Alice's mysterious disappearing baby 🙄

Dinogirl50 · 30/07/2022 15:13

I order 100s of pounds of clothes every week ,and send 99% back.
i see someone wearing something nice and I have to find it ,order it and try it on ,then send it back ..every single day one or 2 or 3 parcels arrive containing dresses ,tops,jeans ..I can’t stop ..I had bulimia for 30 years ,when I stopped this started ..I’ve had counselling,and CBT ,but it’s like a drug ..some weeks it’s £20 on delivery fees ,other weeks I use free delivery.I felt so embarrassed when the delivery driver would come each day ,but now it’s been 3 years I don’t care anymore.I’ve tried to stop ,but I’m scared what I will replace it with ..

Allthegoodnamesaregoneffs · 30/07/2022 15:15

ShesGotAMapOfTheWorld · 29/07/2022 22:08

I have a vape with cannabis oil in it, and I enjoy getting mildly stoned after a crap day. I hadn't touched weed until a few months ago and was given the vape as a gift because I was having trouble sleeping.

You do know that cannabis oil does not have THC in it, which is the substance that gets you high.

Same with CBD, that has THC removed as well, so I think that you are just getting the placebo effect

InAnotherLifeMaybe · 30/07/2022 15:18

I’ve been in love with a friend for 11 years.

When we first met he felt like my soulmate, but we’ve only ever been friends.

We even lost touch for a while during which time he got together with someone and so did I.

As soon as we ended up talking again quite coincidently all feelings I had for him came back. To be fair I’d never forgotten about him I’d just put the feelings to the back of my mind.

I’m sure he doesn’t feel that way about me, and I would never say anything to him anyway because we both have partners. But I would do anything for him. It’s not a crush or a sexual fantacy. I don’t fantasise about what I’d like to do to him when I think about him I think about the partnership we could have.

I don’t think I could ever tell him even if we were both single, because I wouldn’t want to lose him as a friend.

And I do love my dp and wouldn’t put our relationship at risk. It’s just that I feel the way I do.

LadyCampanulaTottington · 30/07/2022 15:48

I’m another who feels the wrong parent died.

My lovely, kind, funny Dad left us and my miserable, bitter, evil narc of a mother got to live

Luredbyapomegranate · 30/07/2022 16:16

@Giraffesandbottoms

Please do ring your GP, there is treatment for this level of anxiety which is not unusual but not normal either.

Luredbyapomegranate · 30/07/2022 16:18

@Dinogirl50

its a lot better than bulimia, and you are sending it back.. but I think you should talk to your GP as this is obsessive behaviour and it can spiral as you know

(I seem to be telling a lot of people to call their GPS! But it is so important to get treatment before it gets worse)

Roughasabadgersbum · 30/07/2022 16:50

7Valleys
I could have written this. I feel exactly the same.
I often go to bed later than DH just so he's asleep 😔

KyaClark · 30/07/2022 17:00

SleepyLittleUnicorn · 30/07/2022 15:07

I want another pregnancy and to give birth again, but i do not another baby.

I want another baby but not the pregnancy or the labour...

BangaloreLulu · 30/07/2022 17:58

ValleyOfSomewhere · 30/07/2022 10:34

I have name changed for this post. This happened in the west country when I was a 19 year old, having travelled there for work as a young man.

My job was on a stud farm working for a rich family. There were about a dozen staff there, mostly male in their 30's and 40's and married with kids. This is relevant because I was the fall guy for weekend duties, bank holidays and Christmas Day when I had to be present on site, often alone. Water off a duck's back because I loved physically working on my own outside with all the responsibility.

Long hot summers bring people out in peculiar ways. For one thing, it makes them hornier. Alice (name changed here) was the owner's daughter and having finished her A Levels was off to university that September. The owner was a functioning alcoholic, expect on Saturdays when he was several sheets to the wind in the local market town. Alice's mum (let's call her Claire) was protective and had plans for Alice which involved her marrying off into money. Alice was told to stay away from the local boys.

Alice was stunning. Bright too because she would come to the farm office on Saturdays to do some owner billing and payments when papa was in the Red Lion and Claire was up at the spa in Bath with her friends. For three months Alice and I shagged in every conceivable position, in the office, in the hay barn, on the hill in the rain overlooking the farm and on her parents kitchen floor. We shagged at the bottom of the garden in the foliage when Claire was entertaining friends. We got secretly engaged and Alice got pregnant.

As Alice's summer was coming to a close so did our opportunities to meet. Sad, but inevitable as I knew this was the direction of travel and Alice was looking forwards to a different future. One afternoon I was finishing watering the stock and had a few hours spare before the evening shift when 3-4 others would turn up to help move the stock over. I was just finishing watering up when Claire drove into the yard. For some bizarre reason she had brought some tools back up to the yard (only her husband ever did this). Claire then proceeded to engage me in discussion wanting to know about my background, plans for the future etc. All a bit unexpected, then she started becoming a bit tactile. Well, things just started to happen and Claire had her lips locked onto mine while pressing herself hard against me. I think it was clear I would not have said no! We spent the next half an hour shagging on the tack room floor with Claire's legs locked round my back. That first one was a 'quicky', but we met several more times for longer sessions, well into the winter.

Here is the thing. Some 25 years later, I am in a professional career in a town over the other side of the country. Having reminisced about the stud farm to a local contact, but leaving the shagging out for obvious reasons, she said she knew the family well. In fact, Alice had moved to the US for a while and having had a marriage failure had returned to the UK and remarried. Alice was also in that very same town and had a successful local business. The contact was heading there next and thought it would be good if I tagged along. I did and although Alice did not recognise me at first, we did have a pleasant hour over a cup of tea talking about the stud farm and what we had done since. Papa had died, the farm was sold to developers and Claire had moved across country to the same town to be closer to Alice and her kids. Claire popped in on the way past, totally unannounced. Alice said "you must remember Valley don't you?" Claire said, "yes, I think so." Now that was the uncomfortable bit.

There is more to tell. Like the Christmas Day papa came into the stud farm with a loaded shotgun convinced someone local had been shagging his wife. Or the woman who lived in the lodge house next to the stud farm, who had the most insatiable appetite for delivery men.

Alan Titchmarsh, is that you? Shock

Xtraincome · 30/07/2022 18:03

Joined in on previous thread. Peacemaking here. Will thrown in a small but not especially amazing confession:

  • I would VERY happily cut out 90% of people I know and care about as I find it such a chore and waste of money buying and receiving so much crap at birthdays and Xmas. It has turned from slight annoyance to a real visceral hatred. I just dont know how to get people to stop buying so much shit. I am incredibly blessed to know some lovely people but I prefer their time and company over stuff.
  • if I was told it was acceptable to live in a glorified shack, I would. I hate home ownership!
ShesGotAMapOfTheWorld · 30/07/2022 19:17

@Allthegoodnamesaregoneffs it definitely does have THC in it. It's sourced from a reliable contact in Amsterdam. My partner gets it for me because I don't smoke (or use the dark Web personally) - he also thinks its safer for him to take the risk because I would lose my job if I was caught.

KarKrash · 30/07/2022 20:10

At a party a few years back after we were doing some tidy up, and somewhat drunk, my BIL made a pass at me. I responded and "made out" (not sure that the term would be for what we did, but not full PIV) for a few minutes but I suddenly stopped it. It was never mentioned again, as if it never ever happened. I've got very mixed feelings in that I know I really really wanted it, but that if my DSis did the same to me in reverse I'd 100% want to know what happened and end our relationship.

systemerroroccurred · 30/07/2022 21:35

Like a PP, I would love 24 hours to do whatever I wanted with my manager at work if there were zero consequences. I definitely think he wouldn't say no...

ConcreteCanalsInAmarah · 30/07/2022 22:42

In accordance with the first thread. we had gone out in a safe zone. Down by the canal system we had gone to shoot deer. It was hot and a motor was skirting the canals some way over. we got no id on it. I was at the back, trunk open with arms laid out. The car approached and drew level. the driver and rear passenger got out. the front passenger spotted me through the gap and I took him out first.

Anotherconfession · 31/07/2022 00:25

Thank you for setting up a send thread, I'm finding reading these confessions very cathartic.

Here comes another in love with my best friend confession......

I used to have an incredibly close male best friend. When I first met him I instantly felt connected. But I didn't initially realised that I actually was in love with him.

As years went by he became more and more important to me (I've yet to even have a female friendship this close and I'm blessed with some awesome friends!). I then realised I was deeply in love with him. But he was, my then boyfriend's friend and my other friend's boyfriend. I felt very guilty and as a result, I was a bit of a dick in our friendship, to distance myself.

Even if it wasn't complicated with our friends- I knew it wasn't mutual (I knew him really well!). If it had ever been mutual, it wouldn't of worked as we would of clashed and it would of been a disaster together. Yet I still think of him regularly.

We very occasionally bumped into each other at social gatherings with mutual friends. I can see he's very indifferent towards me now and it's heartbreaking. Even 10 years on I miss him so badly. It's really pathetic.

I really wished I hadn't ruined the friendship. But I guess I wouldn't have my DC if I hadn't.

I have decided that if I or him were ever on our death beds I would definitely confess. He'd probably be very surprised as I doubt he even thinks of me.

Sellie555 · 31/07/2022 10:10

Anotherconfession · 31/07/2022 00:25

Thank you for setting up a send thread, I'm finding reading these confessions very cathartic.

Here comes another in love with my best friend confession......

I used to have an incredibly close male best friend. When I first met him I instantly felt connected. But I didn't initially realised that I actually was in love with him.

As years went by he became more and more important to me (I've yet to even have a female friendship this close and I'm blessed with some awesome friends!). I then realised I was deeply in love with him. But he was, my then boyfriend's friend and my other friend's boyfriend. I felt very guilty and as a result, I was a bit of a dick in our friendship, to distance myself.

Even if it wasn't complicated with our friends- I knew it wasn't mutual (I knew him really well!). If it had ever been mutual, it wouldn't of worked as we would of clashed and it would of been a disaster together. Yet I still think of him regularly.

We very occasionally bumped into each other at social gatherings with mutual friends. I can see he's very indifferent towards me now and it's heartbreaking. Even 10 years on I miss him so badly. It's really pathetic.

I really wished I hadn't ruined the friendship. But I guess I wouldn't have my DC if I hadn't.

I have decided that if I or him were ever on our death beds I would definitely confess. He'd probably be very surprised as I doubt he even thinks of me.

@Anotherconfession I had very similar but slightly different . I had an incredibly close friendship with a man for years. Never had such a close friendship with a female.

we we totally and utterly best friends, soul mates. He adored me and he would have made the most fantastic husband; the best. But I just couldn’t find him sexually attractive - we had a couple of drunken snogs/fumbles but I didn’t enjoy it at all.

years on, he’s married to the most awful woman who treats him like rubbish and I’m still single and I always wonder whether I should have just got with him before he met her as my life would have been wonderful with him as a partner, but just not sexually!
oh, and I know he would have got with me in a heartbeat !

Confessionthyme · 31/07/2022 11:14

@beezlebubnicky et al: I too have an animal with a voice and everything. He is very much a part of family lore - I do wonder what my (now grown) children think of this!
I'm pretty sure I believe in fairies.
I am devastated that I'm not beautiful. It's always bothered me. Not enough to get plastic surgery - I'd be more devastated to get that scary overdone look - but I spend way more time wishing I was beautiful than is healthy.

Anonymania · 31/07/2022 11:16

One of my children is trans, they think I am supportive. I'm not, and wish/pray every day for them to desist. I'm not religious or bigoted; I just think it's wrong for them.

Anotherconfession · 31/07/2022 13:16

@Sellie555 I do wonder if it would of been the same for me. I did/do find him attractive but that doesn't mean we would have any sexual chemistry. We never even kissed!

I think he's with someone at the moment and thankfully seems very very happy. But I would feel like you if he ended up with someone horrid.

ItsTheLaw · 31/07/2022 13:35

My DSis is in a serious relationship with a new partner, and we were introduced to him a few weeks ago at a family get together. Much to my horror (and possibly his!) I realized that I'd previously had a "thing" with him many years ago after meeting at a conference (I even extended my stay with a costly later flight home a few days later).

I never acknowledged knowing him, and we didn't have any chance to talk outside of a group. I'm not going to say anything, and the opportunity for mentioning anything has passed. On the positive side, I'm glad DSis is happy (and somewhat jealous since the guy is average looking, but great in bed, what we did...OMG!).

Ahostofgoldendaffodils · 31/07/2022 13:41

I’m a lazy fucker. Have a great husband, two lovely children, good job but during holidays and when I get home from work I just want to chill. Haven’t done exercise in years, have no motivation. Won’t even go out for a walk. Eat too much crap. Get the urge now and again to do something remotely productive but then can’t be arsed.

patentspending · 31/07/2022 13:51

Working in legal area, I really struggled in dealing with some clients that I felt were obviously guilty of serious crimes (rape, fraud, insurance). I'm managed to move to a different role where I'm dealing less with clients.

My sister stays over with us from time to time when she is in the area. We can hear her when she is using a vibrator, and while she is not making any noise herself, there is a little groan at the end. My DH says "wow, she wanks a lot"! It's a difficult thing to mention to her, so I've let it pass.

frombehind · 31/07/2022 14:25

We've had a few issues with our neighbours over the years, they are very helpful in pointing out any trees that need trimming, grass cutting, some paint that might be needed, don't like any talk/music (and this is low volume stuff!) after 8PM.

Every, and I do mean every Fri, they have sex. I know that because they turn on a backlight in the room and it's visible from our patio. It's obviously their routine, and it's always the same two options. He goes at it from behind, and finishes with a BJ; or it starts with a BJ and he finishes from behind. There is no sound, the show only has visuals. I've often use binoculars to take a closer look. If friends are around we'd often take a break from our chatting and all take a look. It's often the highlight of a visit to our house.