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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Having kids in nursery all summer whilst you’re off

248 replies

Willwejustbehotforevernow · 26/07/2022 21:19

Just seen a friends post about being happy to be off for the whole summer (teacher) because now she can pick her kids from nursery (they’re in full time whilst she works)
Would you still put your kids in full time nursery if you worked full time and then had summer off-6 weeks, where you could be with them?

OP posts:
LuckySantangelo35 · 26/07/2022 22:38

User135792468 · 26/07/2022 21:49

I think the zoo would be more appropriate 😂. I work hard in term time and always struggle with the running around and juggling work, house and children. Life is very rushed and tends to revolve around other peoples children. I feel guilty because the holidays is my quality time with them and I’m choosing to do something for myself instead of for them. It’s not rational but it’s my mum guilt.

Show quote history

@User135792468

yeah you’ve hit the nail on the head with the mjm
guilt

a man would never feel like that

because there’s no need to feel guilty - stop it!

Beees · 26/07/2022 22:39

schnix · 26/07/2022 22:31

Absolutely, I'd imagine they are probably spending the weekend doing fun things with the kids because they aren't spending it running errands/doing housework etc. it sounds an amazing idea.

Yes it always makes me laugh how people think the child will be better off being dragged on errands than at nursery having a fun with their friends.

OP are you having to pay for the full week even though you're only choosing to send them one day? You seem to have conviniently avoided that question?

Chedderbites2 · 26/07/2022 22:42

Yes id still have them in as she still has to pay. Granted it may not he the complete full time schedule they usually have. She may drop them in later/pick them up earlier or skip some days its just nice to have the option when your off in my opinion especially when you have to continue paying anyway

schnix · 26/07/2022 22:44

Can't win either way. Typical mum shaming. My son goes to nursery on my day off, it allows me to be able to do all my boring housework/errands and get some 'me' time. (And regain some patience) Then by the time the weekend comes, we can go and do lots of fun activities or just spend some time as a family.

I don't understand why there's any judgement at all, it's not affecting you, or detrimental to the children?

Original poster
Willwejustbehotforevernow · 26/07/2022 22:47

@Beees I am. Not avoiding it, I didn’t see it.
No need to be quite so aggressive to me 🤷🏻‍♀️😬

OP posts:
Beees · 26/07/2022 22:49

Willwejustbehotforevernow · 26/07/2022 22:47

@Beees I am. Not avoiding it, I didn’t see it.
No need to be quite so aggressive to me 🤷🏻‍♀️😬

I'm not being aggressive but surely it makes a lot of difference if she's still got to pay for the whole week and you only have to pay for the days you use?

soootiredddd · 26/07/2022 22:50

Sounds like bliss, sign me up!

sammysal · 26/07/2022 22:50

The people saying it would be a 'waste of money' I don't understand? It's a sunk cost- just because you've paid for it doesn't mean you have to use it? There's no saving to not using it?!

Beees · 26/07/2022 22:51

As it is its great that you can afford to happily pay for a service and choose not to use it and it's also great that her and her partner can do the same and choose to continue using it.

That's what it all boils down to, choice and no choice is better than the other. The only difference is you think her choice is wrong.

soootiredddd · 26/07/2022 22:54

@sammysal therr probably is a bit of a saving to using it though because most people spend at least some money entertaining their kids. So if I’m spending £250 a week for a nursery place there’s no way in hell I’m then not using that place AND spending an additional £x per week taking them swimming, zoo, cinema etc. actually even if you don’t do much expensive then there’s still costs of extra food (nurseries normally feed the kids), buying ice creams, craft supplies or whatever. So most people would probably end up financially worse off by not sending them.

Yummiliscious · 26/07/2022 23:00

She obviously doesn’t love her child as much as you love yours….

User135792468 · 26/07/2022 23:00

Beees · 26/07/2022 22:51

As it is its great that you can afford to happily pay for a service and choose not to use it and it's also great that her and her partner can do the same and choose to continue using it.

That's what it all boils down to, choice and no choice is better than the other. The only difference is you think her choice is wrong.

I don’t agree that one choice isn’t better than another. Posters saying their child attends a few days a week is very different to full time. How is the choice of your child being in nursery 5 days a week for the whole 6 weeks better than spending time with them and doing fun things at home and days out together? It’s the same as someone who isn’t a teacher sending their child to nursery on all of their annual leave days. People would view that as odd.

iluvsummer · 26/07/2022 23:01

I send my 2 youngest 2 days a week, one still has funded hours and I pay for the other, it means I can crack on with school stuff, do things like dentist, hairdresser, sort the house out etc and do things with my eldest which the youngest 2 wouldn’t enjoy. They get to see their friends and I get some me time and 1-1 time with my 11 year old. We’d be sick of each other after nearly 7 weeks together 24/7! We’ll be away for 10 days and do days out though aswell, it works for us, each to their own I say.

Iamdonewiththis · 26/07/2022 23:05

Some parents love time with their children and some don't.

Beees · 26/07/2022 23:08

How is the choice of your child being in nursery 5 days a week for the whole 6 weeks better than spending time with them and doing fun things at home and days out together?

We only have the OPs word that they are not going to be reducing their children hours or going on holiday during the summer.

I am sure they will spend some lovely quality time together as a family and their child will also have fun at nursery, just the same as the OPs child.

Original poster
Willwejustbehotforevernow · 26/07/2022 23:25

@Beees I am paying for it all! 🤷🏻‍♀️

I feel like you’re taking my posts personally and are a little over invested.

It isn’t a case of *only taking my word for it…it’s what they’re doing

OP posts:
Original poster
Willwejustbehotforevernow · 26/07/2022 23:26

@Beees They're not reducing their child’s hours or going on holiday. I wouldn’t have posted about it if so 🙈

OP posts:
Mariposista · 26/07/2022 23:34

I would keep them in on some days if we are not on holiday or doing something as a family as they stay in their routine, see their friends and it's not so hard when they have to go back. They love nursery so this isn't an issue.

Tumbleweed101 · 26/07/2022 23:38

I think children who go full time to nursery benefit from a break to be with their families and do different things, just like adults benefit from the break in routine.

Personally I’d keep mine home for the summer or possibly send them for a week to
catch up on jobs that needed doing without children in tow.

Tumbleweed101 · 26/07/2022 23:40

Many of their friends won’t be there in holidays and the routine is completely different to term time as older children may be in or if it becomes quiet rooms may join together.

surreygirl1987 · 26/07/2022 23:51

Many of their friends won’t be there in holidays and the routine is completely different to term time

Nope - not at my nursery. It's exactly the same, although lots of kids are out for a few days for a holiday. No more so than any other time of the year though- people mostly tend to go away over bank holiday weekends to avoid paying for nursery when not using it! My nursery doesn't have 'term time' - there are no terms.

I'm a better parent for having time away from my children, as it enables me to be more 'present' and put more effort into engaging with them when I'm with them. It's the right decision for us.

OP, I do find some of your posts very judgemental actually. I'd be devastated if my friend was posting stuff about my parenting decisions over the Internet.

Bigchezemakeme · 26/07/2022 23:57

Absolutely I wouldn’t take my small child out of routine for 6 weeks. Would be detrimental

Bigchezemakeme · 27/07/2022 00:00

Have just caught up on all your posts. You sound like a judgemental arsehole. Why do you give a fuck what works for your ‘friend’? You just wanted a load of posts telling you what a good parent you are.

myladybelle · 27/07/2022 00:08

With friends like you who needs enemies eh

RockingMyFiftiesNot · 27/07/2022 00:11

Many of their friends won’t be there in holidays and the routine is completely different to term time

Unless you're at a nursery where the majority are children of teachers, the children will be out for a max of two weeks, and not all at the same time. How can the routine be completely different to term time? We don't all work term time only!

How is the choice of your child being in nursery 5 days a week for the whole 6 weeks better than spending time with them and doing fun things at home and days out together?
Have you thought through how comments like this make people feel who have no choice because we don't all get 6 weeks holiday in total, let alone in the summer?

How many posts on MN have there been from teachers saying they don't get all the holiday we think they do because they have to work a lot of it (which I believe by the way, I have plenty of friends who are teachers), and then we get teachers on a post like this saying not only do they spend the whole 6 weeks doing nice things with their children, but also then slagging off a fellow teacher who chooses to continue to use the nursery (probably for very valid reasons, some of which I and other PPs have all ready listed). I am not teacher bashing - surely you can see the inconsistency and hypocrisy here?