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Original poster

When children get the wrong end of the stick - Light hearted

250 replies

Hopeandlove · 26/07/2022 17:15

So my very intelligent 15 year old told me this morning that up until she was 7 she didn’t know she lived on Planet Earth 😂🙄😜
In her school they were taught to recycle to help save Planet Earth etc and she thought it was a different planet our paper was going to be remade and sold in order to raise money in order to preserve it.

She saw planet earth as this wonderful pure planet that was all green and blue with all nature on it and …. Not us.

We lived on the Ground. She asked her teacher eventually where Planet Earth was and her teacher said here and she got very confused.

She thought planet earth was very small and pretty as it could be held in god’s hand 🤦‍♀️And we had to be very careful it was protected from humans as some people weren’t nice! 👌

probably a lot of truth in that

OP posts:
Newyearnewname20 · 27/07/2022 01:18

LosingAtHumanBopIt · 26/07/2022 19:24

My brother used to think Amsterdam was actually Hamsterdam and it's where all hamsters came from

Hahaha I used to think this too 🤣 it became a family joke for a while

SeraphinaAngelina · 27/07/2022 01:18

I’m not a big fan of the sun. I’m Scottish, very pale with ginger tinges. Everyone jokes that I’m a vampire as I’m always in the shade.

Now my 5 year old nephew is convinced and every time the sun comes out he asks me am I burning to death? When am I going to turn to dust? What does it feel like? The sun is taking an awful long time to kill you, Auntie Vampire 😂

safclass · 27/07/2022 01:39

My older sister was in the Brownies and I thought it was exciting however after 'reading' the handbook I told my mam I didn't want to join, flatly refusing that I would when old enough.
Apparently I'd seen the page where a Brownie was leading a crocodile on a leader 'dont take pets home without asking' was the sentiment, my young mind was 'you will have to look after crocodiles'

Pudmyboy · 27/07/2022 02:36

I also asked my mum once why the moon was following us.😂😂😂

Pudmyboy · 27/07/2022 03:03

When I was little I thought the bit in the marriage service 'till death do you part', meant that once married you separated till you died....

Pudmyboy · 27/07/2022 03:04

Alsonification · 26/07/2022 21:50

When my daughter was about six she had her friend over to play. My own friend had also called in for a cuppa. Myself and my friend were chatting for awhile and I noticed that my daughters friend was looking at us. I asked her if she was okay and she asked me if my friend was my love bean? I asked her what she meant and she said “you know love bean, when two ladies love each other”.
Myself and my friend have called each other love beans ever since. She even thanked me as her love being in her thesis lol.

Love this!!😂

octoberfarm · 27/07/2022 03:27

Your daughter sounds amazing! I once took a little girl I was looking after to play on the swings, and she was really disappointed that the sun went behind a cloud. I tried to explain that it'd be back in a minute and she said, very solemnly, "oh, I shouldn't think so. It's gone to see some of the other countries for a couple of hours now". Made me smile.

Also my Mum talked about having to bite her tongue about something the other day, and My 3yo piped up in solidarity that it was okay, he bit his tongue accidentally sometimes too Grin

LetsGoRound · 27/07/2022 03:28

When my kids were little and forever asking that question of where are you going mummy? I used to reply that I was running off with the milkman.
The milkman came to collect his money one evening when I was out and he was most surprised to find two four year olds demanding that he returns their mummy.

MangyInseam · 27/07/2022 03:38

When my daughter was little she had curley hair that would get tangled in the night, and one morning I siad she had a lot of fairly locks (tangles.) She thought for a few years that there was a fairly called Locks who tangled her hair in the night.

I used to go to church with my grandparents when I was a girl, and somehow became confused about the Creed, and I would say. I believe in... the communion of saints, the commitment of sins, and..."

autienotnaughty · 27/07/2022 03:39

legalseagull · 26/07/2022 22:21

I couldn't get my head around evolution. I genuinely thought monkeys lived in cities. Just knocking around London waiting to evolve in to humans.

I also thought the world was black and white 'in the olden days' because old films were.

I was devastated to be promised a Yorkshire pudding, only to discover it is NOT a pudding (what we called desserts as kids)

If you were from Yorkshire we would eat them with sugar when we were kids.

autienotnaughty · 27/07/2022 03:47

When I was a pre teen I loved Judy Blume books. I remember once when my sister wet the bed asking if she had a wet dream.

Qwertysfine2 · 27/07/2022 04:17

Simonjt · 26/07/2022 18:18

I’m fairly certain my seven year old doesn’t know he lives on planet earth, certainly acts like he doesn’t.

We speak Urdu, we don’t really know any other Urdu speakers, he heard someone else speaking it when he was six, he genuinely thought it was a secret language between us.

Awe that's so sweet ❤️

Qwertysfine2 · 27/07/2022 04:22

autienotnaughty · 27/07/2022 03:39

If you were from Yorkshire we would eat them with sugar when we were kids.

Show quote history

In those old black and white film clips everyone walked really stilted too , and that's how I thought people walked then.

Qwertysfine2 · 27/07/2022 04:24

Sorry , that was for Legals comment re black and white people on film

Turnthatoff · 27/07/2022 04:28

We went on a holiday to Queensland back when we lived in Australia. My youngest daughter was beyond excited.

We arrived and after a day or two she looked at me and said. “Where are all the castles?” It took a minute for the penny to drop.

StoppinBy · 27/07/2022 04:38

My daughter (9) last night was reading a Harry Potter book that had a map in it to different places that are in Harry Potter, as she spoke about being able to go to the places I realised that she thought that Harry Potter was real.

She argued that the sorting hat was real as our local book shop was running a Harry Potter themed event and she had used it and been sorted in to Griffindor.

So cute, took a lot of convincing for her to believe that it wasn't real and I kind of wished in hindsight that I had just let her keep thinking it was real rather than spoiling the magic for her.

sashh · 27/07/2022 05:15

KohlaParasaurus · 26/07/2022 18:06

Some otherwise intelligent adults still believe this to be the case and like to debate the extent to which the increase in your heart rate with exercise is offset by the fact that habitual exercisers have slower resting heart rates.

Life's too short ...

Show quote history

There is some truth in that, most animals, including humans, have about the same number of heart beats, so a mouse has a very fast heart rate and lives for about 2 years (except Dr Squeak who lived to be 3, completely blind but still loved her wheel).

Humans typically live 70+ years but have the same number of beats as a mouse.

@iloveeverykindofcat ·

Another name for chows IS lion dog.

I was a teacher, I was teaching a class of 16/17 years old and I heard something

Me: Did you just say pheasant?
Student: No Miss, what is a pheasant?
Me: It's a bird, you can eat it
Student: Uhg, who'd eat a bird?
Me: Do you eat chicken?

The truth dawned and she did laugh, but it did amuse the class.

Who mentioned Yorkshire pudding? You have not lived until you have eaten cold YP dipped in golden syrup for breakfast.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 27/07/2022 05:16

iloveeverykindofcat · 26/07/2022 17:57

So, when I was a child I had a thing about lions. For some reason this was a particular fear for me. There was a man who walked a ginger chow chow in the park near our house. I was 100% sure this was a lion. I was nervous about it, but played it cool because I could see it was on a lead. What I remember most is how aggravated I was that my parents would patronise me by lying that it was a dog. I mean, I could see it was a lion, and I could see that is was on a lead and couldn't get to me. I distinctly remember my annoyance that they thought they could pull the wool over my eyes like that. I was probably about 5.

My DD used to sit in buggy and roar every time she say a particular chow chow. It started when she was a baby and went until she started school. I became quite friendly with the owner after having to apologise she though the dog was a lion every time we passed as she always roared.

WalrusSubmarine · 27/07/2022 05:19

I spent ages kneeling down trying to get DS3 dressed and he was messing about. I finally snapped and said “Come on! I haven’t time to sit here like a lemon, I’m busy.” He answered happily and without any sign of hurrying “I’m a banana”.

It cleared my mood.

letsgetbackto2019 · 27/07/2022 06:11

My parents didn't give me any kind of sex education and in my home country at that time there wasn't any at school either other than the spicy magazines the boys used to hide under their desks.

I couldn't made the connection between sex and making babies and just thought you could get married and wait until you got a child for God's will. Then I discovered the existence of single mothers and got very confused.

MyGhastIsFlabbered · 27/07/2022 06:57

DS1 was about 7 or 8 and reading the kit list for cub camp. One of the items was 'a named torch'. DS came out with 'I wonder what I should call my torch'. He's not impressed that I'm still amused by this!

Lovelystuff · 27/07/2022 07:07

shockthemonkey · 26/07/2022 17:38

I once asked my very mathematical seven-year old if he could tell me what 785 divided by three was. I could see he was struggling and after a bit he said he didn't know the exact answer. I said don't worry, just tell me roughly.

So he came over, grabbed me by my shirt collar and growled "I don't know!"

😂😂😂

GreenWillowAndCatkins · 27/07/2022 07:10

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for personal reasons.

ScreamingInfidelities · 27/07/2022 07:16

overitall1 · 26/07/2022 18:49

Both from my brother when we were young. We had a cat growing up but often went to a local park where we met people walking their dogs. My mum asked someone if we could clap their dog and when my brother was told he could clap it he gave it a round of applause.

Eh? What meaning does 'clap' have where you come from? Does it mean 'stroke' or 'pet'?

Spot the Scot 🤣

I’ve got another Scottish one - my friend’s wee girl was learning Away in a Manger at school for the Xmas pageant. She thought the words were ‘a wean in a manger’ 🤣

georgarina · 27/07/2022 07:27

Hahaha

When I was in school we were assigned an essay and someone asked the teacher why they were called SA's and what it stood for 😂