When children get the wrong end of the stick - Light hearted

[Hopeandlove]

So my very intelligent 15 year old told me this morning that up until she was 7 she didn’t know she lived on Planet Earth 😂🙄😜
In her school they were taught to recycle to help save Planet Earth etc and she thought it was a different planet our paper was going to be remade and sold in order to raise money in order to preserve it.

She saw planet earth as this wonderful pure planet that was all green and blue with all nature on it and …. Not us.

We lived on the Ground. She asked her teacher eventually where Planet Earth was and her teacher said here and she got very confused.

She thought planet earth was very small and pretty as it could be held in god’s hand 🤦‍♀️And we had to be very careful it was protected from humans as some people weren’t nice! 👌

probably a lot of truth in that

🤣🤣 The Skeggy's.

I remember believing that dinosaurs were made up monsters. My friend thought seahorses were mythical, like unicorns.

What does clap the dog mean?

DD1 came back from her first school trip in high dudgeon as the coach had "just been a bus with seat belts". The only coach she'd been in previously was as a tiny bridesmaid & was a coach with 2 horses! We felt we had to apologise to her that English uses the same word for both forms of transport!

When I was little and was told I'll make you tell the truth, I thought 'the truth' were some blokes parked up in a van with monitors who knew everything.

My daughter aged 3 said about no right/left turn signs "huh, must mean no boomerangs".

My son in his 20s said "do you want me to keep these (adult size 12 trainers) so you can have them when you grow into them?" I despaired at that 🤣

On the drive to DHs office we pass some very high rise, very rough, partially unoccupied, boarded up, earmarked for demolition tower blocks. DS calls them the castle!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

🤣

Oh yes, and the snow leopards are hunted for their fur, their teeth to make into jewellery, their bones to be used in medicine...

Daytime TV on in the background is a very frightening place!

As is the radio, Human League - Don't You Want Me...

Why doesn't he want his baby Mummy? Don't you want your baby? Don't you want...
I did try a somewhat lengthy explanation, got nowhere.

Not sure darling 🤣

My dad was always in the doghouse.

Always a confusing one seeing as we didn't have a dog, or a house for it.

I imagined him in some kennel somewhere.

At the weekends to make regular errands seem exciting my parents used to tell my siblings and I that we were going on a mystery drive. We always loved to guess where we were going.
One time we were ecstatic as we'd seen signs for a park and ride and we were whispering excitedly to one another about what would be the best ride.
The disappointment was immense.

I remember being about 6 when my parents spoke about blood donations. For some reason I got the impression that once you turned 18 if you were a chosen one your blood got taken from you, willing or otherwise. It worried me for ages!

Stopped near a lake recently. 7 year old exclaimed there were too many midgets swarming everywhere.

they meant midges. 30 mins of pronunciation lessons later still couldn’t master it. Going to have to call them gnats from now on.

My DD asked a quick about a tampon machine in a restaurant toilet once. She was about 9 so I gave her an age appropriate explanation about growing up and getting a period. When she got older she came home from school after a biology lesson and was furious because I hadn’t explained it happened every month. She’d happily thought it was a one off event! Poor girl!

@Caminante my 4 year old DD did something similar. I’d walked into the room where she’d been watching TV and she asked me very seriously ‘Mummy are you a homeowner?’

My child, crossing the English Channel on a ferry was listening to some Frinch children chatting to their parents.

He was amazed that they were speaking french.

'How come they they can speak a foreign language so young?'

My nephew , aged about five, burped, and my Mum said "Pardon, Michael"
No reply from Michael.
Mum: Michael, pardon!
Michael looking worried
Mum: Michael! Pardon!
Michael, trying not to cry, "I can't do it again, Nana"

Up until my early 20s, I genuinely thought HGV stood for Hulking Great Van.

My friend nearly wet herself when I casually mentioned it.

Another one: When I was very young, I heard some adult conversation about marriages being annulled. I got the idea that the government could just randomly send people round to a couple's house, and tell them, 'Your marriage is null- one of you must get out!' I was scared that they might do this to my parents.

When I was about 5, another child told me the age-old myth that if you step on a crack in the pavement, a big bear might come out and eat you. But she had trouble pronouncing the letter R, and for ages I thought that if I stepped on a crack, a big BELL might come out and eat me.

Loving this thread do much. Thanks for starting it OP.

Just remembered a couple more.

DD about 7 was spending a few days with PIL during school holidays. One day FIL had gone out in the car so MIL explained to DD that they would have to wait until Grandad got back before they did whatever it was they planned for the day. DD apparently got very thoughtful then said "Grandma, are you very poor?" For info PILs really quite comfortably off but saw no reason to have two cars.

When she was about 10 or 11 she asked me one day what a diaphragm was. Unsuspectingly I talked about the muscle under your lungs and what happened when you took a breath. She looked extremely confused then said that in the Princess Diaries book she was reading Mia had found her mother's diaphragm in the shower!

This is so adorable ☺️

Ohhh this reminds of another one. I always thought Lisa Stansfield had actually lost her real baby, always wondered why she didn't tell the police instead of getting on planes. I did too much flying (lying), wasted too much time, now I'm here a crying

I honestly thought that test tube babies were grown to 'full size' in giant test tubes.
I wouldn't mind but I was a teenager when it was all in the news, I should have been able to work it out.

My brother (aged 35) told me earlier this year that men didn't actually need women anymore. When I asked how he thought they'd have children without us he said "uhhhh... haven't you heard of test tube babies?"
So he clearly thought they were fully grown in test tubes as well.

@FilePhoto that makes me feel better!!